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About MonicaPz

  • Rank
  • Birthday 01/19/1958

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  • Gender
  • Location
    Beacon NY
  • Interests
    Am a CG Lesbian with an open mind. Have had many TG friends when I lived in Florida. Exploring art. Enjoy coffee houses with live music. Visit museums and art galleries. Am on disability, using a cane. Sedate but have an active mind.

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  1. MonicaPz

    Message Forum Upgrade

    Dear Dawn, Love your running outfit, especially when you are sporting my favorite color (blue)! Wish they made fanny packs in shades of blue! Hope you can get your posting issues resolved, as I miss seeing you! Your friend, Monica
  2. MonicaPz

    Searching for friends

    Dear David, Welcome! You'll find friends here at TGGuide. Our members are kind, supportive and knowledgeable. We have some FTMs you'll want to get to know. May I suggest that you read the Forums and then the Blogs. Feel free to make comments and ask questions. When you are comfortable, please consider having a Blog of your own, where people can make comments and suggestions. You will find TGGuide an emotionally safe space. Yours truly, Monica
  3. MonicaPz

    Growing up and out.

    Dear Mikaylajane, Agree with Jessica 100 percent. What I try to do when I am stressed is ask myself, "what is the greatest problem I have right now?" Then, focusing ONLY on that ONE problem, I ask myself, "what can I do TODAY to resolve that problem?" Follow through and do it. Then the next day, focusing on the SAME problem, I ask the same question, until the problem is resolved, no matter how many days it takes. Then go on to the next greatest problem. If this does not work, you may have to conclude it is not meant to be. Recently, I decided I wanted to join a Senior Adult Day Care, to do my art, only to encounter one difficulty after another. Sadly, I had to conclude I was not meant to be there. The point is, if you feel you have to force it, chances are you are not intended to be there. Now I do art in my friend's restaurant, which she is OK with. Usually, when one door is closed to you, another will open. On a few occasions in my life, I was able to observe that had I entered that closed door, I may have not only been more frustrated, but even injured or killed. Try to stay calm, and be open to another opportunity. Your friend, Monica
  4. MonicaPz

    Being misunderstood

    Dear Emma, Men and women are equally nasty, just men show it through violence and women, because society doesn't give them permission to be violent (until very recently), are nasty by emotional and verbal abuse. My dream is of a society that is secure enough that people do not resort to such behaviors. Remember, it is a people problem, not a gender problem. Yours truly, Monica
  5. MonicaPz

    Growing up and out.

    Dear Emma and Mikaylajane, Just attended an outstanding lecture at the library, and the mental health therapist who was giving the lecture said that psychotropic medications should never be given without concurrent counseling, and, except in rare cases, should never be permanent, but reevaluated regularly. Wishing you both health and wellness. Yours truly, Monica
  6. MonicaPz

    Growing up and out.

    Dear Emma, When I saw your picture of you hiking with your Lesbian friends, I would never knew you were transgender. You looked like just another Lesbian. Please keep in mind that estrogen drops in ALL cisgender women as they age, and testosterone in ALL cisgender men as they age. Recall a senior cisgender Lesbian heavy/stone butch I knew in Florida (not transgender) who, if you put her in a suit, she would have passed as a cisgender man! Remember, being a woman is from the inside out! Don't let others' problems become your problem! NOBODY is accepted by 100 percent of others 100 percent of the time! Your Lesbian sister, Monica
  7. MonicaPz

    Growing up and out.

    Dear Mikaylajane, Estrogen causes hypersensitivity. Just ask any mother of a teen daughter! 😉 Your friend, Monica
  8. MonicaPz

    Being misunderstood

    Dear Mikaylajane, Live in a small city 50 miles north of NYC that is growing very fast. It has always been clique-ish and clan-ish, but as it grew, it got meaner. Have found medium-sized towns the best. These cities are known to be T/LGB friendly: San Francisco, CA; Portland, OR; Seattle, WA; Fort Lauderdale, FL; and the Tampa Bay (Clearwater, St. Petersburg, Tampa), FL area. Try to participate in as many gender conferences as possible, and ask transgender people about the pros and cons of where they live. Ask people here at TGGuide for their suggestions. Also, look for transgender meetups nearby to find others seeking community. Remember to look for a good overall fit, not just about how T/LGB friendly a city is. Hope this helps. Your friend, Monica
  9. MonicaPz

    On again/off again- In and OUT

    Took care of two autistic men, and they have a sensitive sense of smell. People accused them of being cross dressers, but they weren't. With the first, his mother died, and he was very close to her. Her clothing was bagged up and I was instructed to not wash it. To get him to settle down for bed, I removed a piece and put it under his pillow. Sometimes he wore her slippers, and I had to remind him to keep it indoors, to preserve the slippers and avoid misunderstandings among neighbors. The other one I cared for would sleep in his mother's bed. This involved bonding with her smell, and calmed him down. Belonged to several autism care givers support groups, and I never thought to bring this up. Does this resonate with anyone?
  10. MonicaPz

    Getting Caught!

    Dear Jessica and Christy, Years ago, I babysat for a little girl and her brother. One day, while playing, he asked if he could dress as a girl (he was about four). Allowed him, he and his sister played as if two sisters, and the next time I babysat for them, I asked if he wanted to dress as a girl again. Was a teenager then, and I knew nothing about transgender issues. Felt relieved he did not want to dress as a girl again, and apparently he "got it out of his system." Never told their parents. Have the ability to sense gender energy, as well as "future sexual orientation energy," and I sensed he would grow up heterosexual and a man. He was just exploring, and I think children should be allowed explore. Felt as a result I was "cool" about it, that I helped him affirm that he was heterosexual and will grow up to be a man. How would I handled it if I picked up that he was going to grow up to become a woman or a homosexual man? Probably I would have said nothing, as I was aware of my gift but did not understand it. All I could do was describe what I was "seeing," and cause upset and confusion among the parents. By the time I was a teen, I only shared my gift in life and death circumstances, and only by describing what I saw. Tried to help others by seeking a "natural" explanation to what I was seeing. The transgender community has helped me to understand my gift. For that, I will always be grateful. Your friend, Monica
  11. MonicaPz

    Leap of Faith

    Dear MichelleLea, Think you made a good move, as you explored rentals first. Ideally, your neighbors will keep to themselves, as mine do, because you want to make friends OUTSIDE of where you live, should a friendship goes sour. May I ask, do you know WHY your new home is so inexpensive? (There are good reasons and bad reasons for this.) Your friend, Monica
  12. MonicaPz

    Love the One You're With

    Dear Emma and Christy, Sadly, in Tampa Bay and upstate NY, I feel money and looks ("lookism") is important to the Lesbian community. (Interestingly enough, I didn't see this in the Lesbian community in Brooklyn, NY!) This gave me permission to be more inclusive towards Lesbian transwomen. Some would call me poor (monthly income, $857.00), and fat (269 lbs. at 5'8"), but I focus on that I am not seeking a "sugar mama," and despite many attempts at weight loss, I have adrenal fatigue, as a result of post encephalitis syndrome, preventing weight loss. Be aware on what you can "bring to the table," and what your true needs are. Have many friends who are poorer and fatter than I am, and vice versa. Your friend, Monica
  13. MonicaPz

    The leaderboard and days won?

    Dear Bree and Christy, Contacted Mike, and he's going to see what he can do on an individual basis. Think the leader board counts every blog, comment, post and comment. Try to limit myself to three comments on the Forums, as my picture shows up each time. Am OK with that. Love what most people have to say, but I don't want to appear a hog! 😰 Your friend, Monica
  14. MonicaPz

    Should You Move?

    Dear Bree, Agree 100 percent. Actually, I keep a lower profile and try harder to let things go in one ear and out the other, or play deaf, dumb and stupid since this Administration. Your friend, Monica
  15. MonicaPz

    Should You Move?

    Recently I commented on someone's post about being bullied, and, literally, I was bullied in the public library by two teenage girls only 15 minutes later! That evening, I called a T/LGB Warmline to discuss this idea further. First of all, I believe, due to the current Administration, that T/LGBs will encounter an increase in bullying, no matter where they live. The first thing is that you deserve to be welcome, not just tolerated. Be sure your overall situation improves with each move. Thus the first question: do you feel welcome, not just tolerated, where you live? As in dating potential partners, you should look for red flags, when you explore places to live. These can not be explored only on the Internet (although that is a good place to start!) or on a casual, brief vacation. You are not visiting on a vacation; you are exploring to see if this is a place where you want to spend the next several years of your life! Please visit for a minimum of a week. Ride public transportation, if you don't drive, visit the local T/LGB Center (ask questions!), look at housing that you can afford (in my case, public housing), etc. Do consider carefully what size town you would be most comfortable in. In a small town, often, "everyone knows everyone." It has been my experience in small towns that most people are partnered, and it can be uncomfortable living there if you are single. Many singles date through online dating websites rather than people who live in town. Large cities are the opposite. There are many residents who are single, but often they are not seeking a committed relationship. However, large cities have neighborhoods, where people find community. They have many organizations to explore. Medium sized cities seem to have the best of both worlds. Questions To Ask The Locals Do you like living at this apartment complex? Is there anything I should know about personal safety? How is crime here? What are the average rents here (for studio, one bedroom, two bedroom, etc.) for apartments? How expensive are houses here? Are housing/rent prices going up (you may need a longer lease or buy a house sooner than later). Is there public housing here? Is it owned by the city/county/federal government or privately managed/owned? Usually city/county/federal government owned public housing includes electricity/gas and private does not, and is better maintained. Do you have easy access to banks, supermarkets, stores, and a variety to choose from? Go into stores and supermarkets and price the items there, to be sure you can afford buying in a particular town. Do you have quality hospitals, doctors and dentists nearby that take your insurance? Is the mail secure? If not, is the Post Office convenient and offers Post Office boxes at a reasonable price? Observe the vibe - do you feel you will likely fit in here? If you do not drive, is the town "walkable," and offers good, affordable public transportation? Are a variety of support and social groups that meet regularly available? Is there an active T/LGB Center with a wide variety of affordable activities nearby? Are the police, fire and emergency medical technicians sensitive and supportive? If you work, are there career opportunities in your field available that pay a good wage? Would like very much to hear about your experiences in moving. Thank you.