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About MonicaPz

  • Rank
  • Birthday 01/19/1958

Profile Information

  • Gender
  • Location
    Beacon NY
  • Interests
    Am a CG Lesbian with an open mind. Have had many TG friends when I lived in Florida. Exploring art. Enjoy coffee houses with live music. Visit museums and art galleries. Am on disability, using a cane. Sedate but have an active mind.

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  1. MonicaPz


    Dear Christy, Have experienced mild PTSD (diagnosed by a psychiatrist) because I almost was homeless in NYC six years ago. Was given 3 weeks notice and every day I was looking at rooms but they were all filthy in horrible overcrowded conditions. This was precipitated by the father of the autistic man I was caring for suddenly died and his elderly mother wanted to care for him. Also, I was having serious back trouble. Also, as a cisgender Lesbian woman who did a lot of babysitting growing up, I had the opportunity to observe young children, both boys and girls, experimenting with dressing/acting as the opposite sex. Rolled with it, and allowed them to do it, although some of the parents weren't too happy about it, but my hunch was good, because they did it once or twice, and moved on to other interests. By the way, all these children turned out to be cisgender and heterosexual. Must confess I explored it myself (I was jealous that my brothers could pee standing up!) and, like the children I babysat for, soon moved on to other interests. Was a "tomboy," but I feel this had little to do with me being a Lesbian, as I witnessed many heterosexual women have a "tomboy" phase growing up. Your friend, Monica
  2. MonicaPz

    The Talk.

    Dear Christy and MichelleLea, Think what Christy is describing is going through her second adolescence, this time as a woman. Your friend, Monica
  3. MonicaPz

    New Beginnings

    Dear MichelleLea, Looking back in my life, one of the jobs I was best at, I really didn't enjoy (bookkeeping). Interestingly, despite that, I seemed to enjoy the company of bookkeepers. Am very detail oriented. My thoughts and prayers are with you as you explore career options. Yours truly, Monica
  4. MonicaPz

    Technical help needed in posting photos

    Dear Ellen, May I ask what year your Nikon camera was made, and what model is it? Emma gave you excellent advice, but she may be able to help you more if you give her the above information. Love your models! Your friend, Monica
  5. MonicaPz

    Trying Times

    Dear MichilleLea and Emma, Agree with Emma that you need to build you experience and confidence level before leading others. As for Rich's wife, a great preventive of urinary tract infections is cranberry juice, and if you don't like it, there are gel caps with cranberry juice concentrate. Especially women, like you, need to try to prevent urinary tract infections, as they are potentially dangerous. Sometimes when men are under stress, especially involving the wife, simple supportive friendship can grow into romantic involvement. If you can, I would try to be as busy doing your job and making money that you desperately need, to avoid being "too available" for him. Your friend, Monica
  6. MonicaPz

    Lying Low

    Dear MichelleLea, Am sorry you got a bad cold, but colds and flus are going around. Got sick Sunday, June 3, in the evening and I am just starting to move again. Lived in Florida (Tampa Bay - Clearwater, St. Petersburg and Tampa - Pinellas and Hillsborough Counties) for 35 years, and despite the beautiful weather, I got my share of colds and flus! A lot of it has to do with HUMIDITY and ICE COLD air conditioning. A lot of people move from their cars (air conditioned, usually), into the heat, and, say, run into ice cold air conditioning, such as the mall or work, and get a chill. Even up here in New York, as I find myself popping in and out of malls, stores and restaurants with friends, I seem to perspire and get body odor. One thing I try to do is bring a light jacket or sweater with me, to prevent chills from A/C. Hope you are feeling well, soon. Your friend, Monica
  7. MonicaPz

    Betwixt and Between

    Dear MichelleLea and Emma, It takes time to ferret out others' INTENTIONS. Ideally it would be great if everyone strived for a "win - win" situation. As for me, I would take every class offered to me to train and cross-train. Just watch to be sure he doesn't have a hidden agenda and that he treats you respectfully. Your friend, Monica
  8. MonicaPz

    New Routine

    Dear MichelleLea and Emma, You are so wise to think of your eating habits BEFORE you develop a weight issue. You also do not want to retain water due to excess salt or burn out or fatigue your adrenal glands. As for me, I eat a lot of prepackaged salads (to help me with portion control) and enjoy broiled chicken and salmon with it. My weakness is eating out, especially with friends, so I try to make good choices. Reminds me of when I was living in a private men's college dormitory, and I reminded them that they will not be so active as they get older, and can count on burning it off. Mentioned it especially to the football linebacker, who I reminded that he could not count on a NFL career (average football player has a 3 year career) and needed to plan on a regular job that he is getting his education for, which is unlikely to demand the physical exertion on the football field. It makes me laugh how I was on a first name basis with the pizza delivery guys and gals, and how some parents were so concerned with their sons' eating habits, they were dropping off salads, and other healthy eats. Trying to lose weight slow and steady as you girls are doing! Your friend, Monica
  9. MonicaPz

    Planning ahead

    Dear MichelleLea, You are wise to think of your future while keeping expenses down. Not saying to live like a nun, but to make a game out of living within your means. A friend of mine and I love to shop and eat out, and we amaze ourselves and others how far we can stretch our money using coupons and choosing our stores that we shop in wisely. We hit the thrift shops and the clearance aisles. Also, it is becoming standard that people are growing businesses behind their corporate jobs. Have a friend who has a laundromat when she and her husband work for a big corporation. Another couple who works for the same corporation owns rental property all over the county, including two private college dormitories. Wishing you the best, Your friend, Monica
  10. MonicaPz

    Why Stress Right

    Dear Michele, Please let me respond . . . My looks - I focus on finding my voice, both physically and emotionally. Am a woman of size, so I work on feeling that people of all sizes and shapes are beautiful! 😉 Will I be loved for whom I am? - Always am seeking having a PURPOSE, that is, what can I contribute to my loved ones and community? 😊 Does my life matter? - Of course, your life and mine DOES matter, otherwise our Higher Power would not permit us to be on Earth. 😇 Do others like me? - Focus on having a FEW good, quality friends instead of winning a popularity contest. As for my family, I consider the T/LGBT community my family. The painful reality is that I can not make anyone like or love me. Even if I could, I wouldn't even try. 😄 Take your time to FIRST find a supportive therapist, support group and save up to attend the nearest transgender conference. Likely, your cup size will be one cup smaller than your mother's and sisters. 😯 With the right surgeon, your vagina will be indistinguishable from that of a cisgender woman's, so much so, that a gynecologist wouldn't be able to tell the difference! Have seen the vaginas of two post open transwomen (not sexually), and I could not tell the difference! 😷 As you get older, you will be less obsessed about these things, as I have! 😊 Michele, don't forget you have many friends right here, and you'll make even more (face to face) friends as you gain self-confidence. Don't forget you are going through a second (female) adolescence as you transition. 😃 Your friend, Monica
  11. MonicaPz

    Inauthenticity vs. Authenticity

    Dear Emma, Believe that living authentically means living a MINDFUL life as continuously as possible. We are constantly evolving, so what was authentic 10 years ago is not likely authentic TODAY, but hopefully was authentic 10 years ago. As for me, I try to be centered as possible at all times, although I am not always successful! 😉 Your friend, Monica
  12. MonicaPz

    The Leopard Print Dress

    Dear MichelleLea and Emma, Love shopping for clothes with a girlfriend as I feel two heads are better than one! Even if my sense of style is different than hers, I would like her input, after I shared with her what I am trying to achieve and why, and vice versa. Your friend, Monica
  13. MonicaPz

    The Leopard Print Dress

    Dear Emma, Very well said. Great advice no matter who you are! As for myself, I try to go for a TAILORED look. Two dear friends from Philadelphia, PA, send me wonderful T/LGB magazines that I learn a lot from. When I plan on visiting them, I hope I will have saved up some money to buy at some of the stores/boutiques featured in the magazines. Your friend, Monica
  14. MonicaPz

    My Transition

    Dear Elsa, Steph and Emma, Sadly, I am acquainted with a Lesbian woman, who is being forced by her family to "go Straight." She used to be a "Heavy Butch," with a crew cut and wearing men's clothes. She was forced by her family to wear a feminine wig, until her hair grew out, now wearing a very feminine, curly haircut, dyed blond. Also, she is forced to wear very feminine clothes. She hates my guts, (she sees me on the bus), harassing me (the police is now involved), because, although I am not "flaming out," I am openly a Lesbian. Feel sorry for her, as all her behavior is at the behest of her family, except she takes it a step farther, having a boyfriend or husband. Apparently she was threatened with being disowned by her family. My family stopped short of forcing me to date/marry. Two deeply closeted Lesbians take me out once or twice a month (one of these times to a women's support group), and trying to help me find a girlfriend (whom I'm told will be deeply closeted, due to where I live). The fem is an executive secretary, and the butch, in the medical field. What is the upshot of all of this? Don't live a lie. Am on the waitlist for senior public housing in Burlington, VT and Seattle, WA, which may take years. May have to move sight unseen because of my very low income. For what it's worth, I see the T/LGB community as my family, not my family of origin. Your friend, Monica
  15. MonicaPz

    The Leopard Print Dress

    Dear MichelleLea and Emma, Think looking APPROPRIATE and REALISTIC should be your goals looking like you are women, because you ARE women. Most older women emphasize CLOTHING and ACCESSORIES. Went out with my friend yesterday, and no one bothered us. She was a transwoman, aged 71, and I am a cisgender woman, aged 60. Try to get out with friends, as I find it so healing. Your friend, Monica