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About EmmaSweet

  • Rank
    Senior Moderator
  • Birthday May 12

Profile Information

  • Gender Transgender
  • Location Seattle
  • Interests Bicycling, learning new things, reading, playing fingerstyle guitar, camping, cooking, Petite Syrah, sharing experiences with friends.

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EmmaSweet's Activity

  1. EmmaSweet added a comment on a blog entry: Cleaning Up Loose Ends   

    Almost 75? I would have guessed you to be in your 50s, maybe early 60s. You have the drive of a 20-something!
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  2. EmmaSweet added a comment on a blog entry: Working   

    So much training is hard to absorb in such a short time. I hope you have plenty of time and experiences in between so the training has relevance for you.
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  3. EmmaSweet added a blog entry in Emma Sweet's Blog   

    Coming Out on National Coming Out Day
    Yesterday I read this article on Transgender Universe by Mila Madison (I love her writings):
    Is It Safe to Come Out?
    You see, yesterday was National Coming Out Day. On reading the article it occurred to me that for most people the definition of "coming out" is a single event, coming out of the closet, letting others know ones true/authentic nature (sexuality, gender, etc.), and then it's done. That stirred up some thoughts for me as I considered that I came out all of the past year and see myself continuing to come out for at least the next year and maybe beyond. i added a comment to MIla's article that I've edited below:
    I think a point can be made that coming out isn’t binary, all or nothing. For example, I started coming out to selected friends, family and professionals one year ago. I kept a list on my phone, marveling as the number slowly grew from single digits into the teens. I told them, mostly in person, that I am transgender and had been since my earliest memories. All were more or less supportive.
    About six months ago I couldn’t wait any longer and wrote a long-ish email to about 50 colleagues and friends. I then forwarded it to others as I thought about them. Most answered very positively, a few didn’t answer, and no on disparaged me. My number had grown to about 100.
    About six months ago, very tentatively, I started dressing and going out in public. What fear and anxiety! Buying clothes on Amazon, afraid even to return those that didn’t fit for fear that the UPS guy would discover my secret. I started by attending all professional meetings (therapist, doctor, stylist, etc.) presenting fully as Emma.
    Thankfully I have a supportive network of friends. One girlfriend took me to Nordstrom Rack and Sephora for shopping a few weeks ago. We left loaded down with bags like the women in Sex and the City. Another suggested I go to a local woman’s consignment shop; they were wonderful. Last week I ran errands, first to a lumber store to buy a bunch of wood for basement shelves, to Nordstrom Rack to return a jacket (and yes, buy another), Trader Joe's, and Bed, Bath, and Beyond... all as Emma.
    Yesterday I went to pick up some sheet metal to fix a door, presenting as a woman. Talk about a bastion of testosterone. No one batted an eye. I also went out for coffee with a male friend whom I had told I’m trans but had never seen me dressed.
    As of yesterday I’m starting to dress all or most of the time, authentically as myself, a woman, Emma. I take the public transportation downtown, go grocery shopping, the bank, you name it. I agree completely that we need to be visible so that our sisters and brothers behind us will witness our progress while the cisgender population learns that we’re just out and about, living our lives in peace and harmony with everyone. So what's left?
    There are more bridges left to cross, such as:
    Using my feminine speaking voice that I'm taking weekly lessons on. I'm nervous about that. Thank goodness my next door neighbor liked the way my "Good morning!" sounded to her this morning and volunteered to make herself available for me to practice as needed.Go for a bra fitting. I'm waiting for my breasts to bud more before doing that. I imagine that one of these days my breast forms will feel even more uncomfortable riding on top of my natural breasts. Oh, and then I'll be wearing a bra all the time, too.Select and wear a women's swim suit out and about. Likely next summer.Go to Macy's and places like that for a makeover. I could really use professional help with my makeup.Get my fingernails and toenails painted. Gosh, once that's done there's really no way to present as anything but a woman, is there? Get my hair styled and maybe add some highlights. My hair will be long enough in 4-6 months, I think, so I have some time. Change my legal name, drivers license, passport, etc. That's probably for 2019!That's all I can think of for now but I'm sure I'll come up with more! Hey, that's part of the fun isn't it?
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  4. EmmaSweet added a post in a topic: Trump Continues to Empower Haters   

    I’m shocked but how can he shock me more? I suppose it’s good that he continues his narcissistic and moronic ways as even his base constituency whithers. I’m just so fearful of what he might and may likely do next. He’s just such a nut. 
    At this point I trust our military leadership much more than Trump. I can imagine why military coups can happen and ge successful. It’s just all so surreal. A bad dream. A nightmare.
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  5. EmmaSweet added a comment on a blog entry: Beginners Luck   

    I’m the Queen of the Semi-Colon! I use it all the time. It’s such a handy punctuation.
    You’re awesome, BTW, how you’re cold calling, taking the negatives in stride, and collecting appointments. Look girl, you’re going to knock this one out of the park. Let’s see, your cold-call to appointment rate is maybe 10% right? Maybe your close rate is 25% of the appointments. Maybe higher, we’ll see. You have four appointments I think, so aim to close. 
    Did they teach you the “Benjamin Franklin close?” You take a blank sheet of paper and draw a line down the middle from top to bottom, and tell them that this is how ol’ Ben made hard decisions. The left side is where he listed reasons he should go with the proposal, and the right side is where he put negative reasons. You offer to help by slowly filling in the left side with benefits that the prospect agreed with. And when you’re done you let them try to fill in the right side. They quickly can’t think of much and it’s apparent looking at the paper what he should do: go to with your proposal. 
    Good luck!
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  6. EmmaSweet added a comment on a blog entry: Sunday Again   

    Ah, a relaxing Sunday! I woke up lazy but couldn’t help from having a busy day:
    Worked on my voice feminization exercises, of which I’ve been delinquent. Reminds me of college when I’m supposed to be studying and find myself cleaning out my refrigerator.Ordered a whole bunch of lumber to build simple shelves in the basement.Bought a bunch of stuff at Bed, Bath, and Beyond, taking advantage of their 20% off coupon.Returned a new women’s jacket at Nordstrom Rack (had a hole in it) and bought another better one. Proud of myself that I unflinchingly told the clerk that they were mine! She didn’t bat an eye which was no surprise.Groceries at a Trader Joe’s. Have you tried their Crisp Bread? It’s so tasty and pretty healthy too. I love TJ’s!
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  7. EmmaSweet added a comment on a blog entry: Ho-hum   

    I can recommend many books. Tell me what you like and I’ll send titles! 
    It’s to be expected that you’re feeling down. Sure, it’s fun and all to be on your own, to dress when and how you like. But longer term you’re without your wife and that is sad. Give yourself the patience, caring, and support you need to work it out. It may take quite a while, there is no certain path or timeline. 
    I wish you well, sleep tight,
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  8. EmmaSweet added a comment on a blog entry: First day   

    I'm pretty laid-bak too, and now that I re-read my comment I'm thankful you didn't misunderstand me. i didn't mean to say that you're having the troubles I wrote about. When I was writing I was remembering my first experiences in sales. Although I was in a professional sales role (like you) I feared that people would expect me to be like a used-car salesperson, or think of me that way. I also remember getting hit with objections that I didn't have an answer for. Each time as I drove to the following appointment I'd replay the exchange in my mind and almost always come up with a friendly and effective come back. I was proud of myself later to be able to use those come backs during meetings! 
    Yes, slow and steady. That's often been tough for me!
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  9. EmmaSweet added a comment on a blog entry: First day   

    Attagirl, Michelle! There is a lot to learn. But your approach and attitude will help you so much. Try emulating your manager and soon you’ll find your own style and voice. Handling objections is tough, especially the first time for each one. After, you may wish you’d countered with something and sure, the meeting might have gone better. But each time you learn more, and next time you’ll be better prepared. 
    Many people think sales is easy, for those who speak quickly and able to convince people to buy. In fact, sales roles are hard and sleaziness doesn’t work. Stay patient with yourself, learn each day, and in a short time you’ll feel empowered and see how you’re offering a real and valuable service to your customers and your company.
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  10. EmmaSweet added a comment on a blog entry: New B   

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  11. EmmaSweet added a post in a topic: Experts Confirm Gender Identity is Biological   

    You beat me to posting this Chrissy! Of course I'd never even heard of The Endocrine Society and was delighted to understand how much of an important and scientific body that they are, which underscores the validity of their report. The dominoes keep toppling, one after another, inevitably leading to societal support and embracing of transgender people as valid, valuable, and loved members of the human race. It's taking way too long but look how far we've come in only the last few years. 
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  12. EmmaSweet added a comment on a blog entry: New B   

    One more thing, please. Did you ever hear that when you’re selling a drill you’re not selling a tool that holds bits and twirls  them around. What you’re actually selling are holes. The same thing is true for insurance. In this case you’re selling peace of mind. If something unfortunate happens (and we know it does, all too often and to each of us) your customers will be covered financially. Maybe not 100% and it’s true that insurance doesn’t cover emotional distress, at least the effects of monetary loss are reduced when we need it most.
    Good luck in your new career. I’m confident you’ll do well.
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  13. EmmaSweet added a comment on a blog entry: Book Project   

    That sounds awesome, Chrissy! Yes, please keep us informed.
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  14. EmmaSweet added a comment on a blog entry: New B   

    Selling anything, especially something like insurance, is tough. I sold capital equipment for about five years and I was pretty good at. Why? Because what I was really selling was myself. Be friendly, respectful, and educational. If they don’t want to listen or hear your pitch:
    - Is there a better or more convenient time for me to come back to talk?
    - Would you mind if I follow up with you again in, say, six months? (Keep short notes so when you do return you can remind them about your previous visit.)
    Keep at it and make it fun. When you’re on the phone be sure to stand and smile while you’re speaking. Your voice will be warmer and your energy will come through.
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  15. EmmaSweet added a comment on a blog entry: Holding pattern   

    Michelle, I also have two sons that I have somewhat distant relationships with. The older (33) is kind of stand-offish, very sensitive to anything I might say, and invulnerable. The younger (29) vacillates between horribly depressed and fairly steady. He resists getting and holding onto a job because his mother (we divorced over 20 years ago) rescues him with money frequently although every single psychologist has advised that that is the exact opposite thing to do. These relationships have been painful for me especially as I know that I played my own negative role as I was so depressed and uncertain myself during their childhood. But I was also much closer to them that my father was to me and hey, I turned out all right - I think!
    I'm so happy for you to get your insurance license and wish you the best in finding a job that you enjoy. 
    Take care,
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