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Chrissy

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Everything posted by Chrissy

  1. Chrissy

    Friend Issues

    Ren, I'm hesitant to say much as an outsider to the issue, but it sounds at the very least like she might have a serious dependency issue (which I think can look a lot like, or even turn into stalking). Especially the part about turning on you (turning you off on facebook) but then reaching out to your friends because she's afraid something happened, those are pretty extreme responses in opposite directions and suggests not the clearest thinking (i'm not suggesting anything about her intelligence, but dependency issues can make one react very strangely). That along with the obsessive need for reassurances. That's just my impression. Christie
  2. Follow up - i successfully changed my name with social security and my driver's license - yay!!!! Failed to change gender I'd - with my driver's license it was just because I had a copy of my therapist's letter and I need the original, i'll go back next week. Social security I have to file a complaint with, i'm pretty sure they're misinterpreting the rules in refusing my request (I was a lawyer, so I have some idea)
  3. Chrissy

    A Good Day

    That's all so great! The phone call sounds terrifying, but I can kind of imagine getting really into it once you start. And on the twitter point, I got a reply tweet from debbie gibson the morning I tweeted about my name change, so I know how you feel (I immediately became a teenage girl when I saw it)
  4. Ohhh, in the neighborhood of 30
  5. Well, my name change became official this past Monday (the 19th). I was hoping to get some documents taken care of, but was thwarted by the court, they hadn't recorded the last filing, so I couldn't get the certified copy of the order that I needed. I got that this morning - yay!!! But then the social security office was closed (at noon! what's that about!?!?). I'm hoping tomorrow morning I can get social security and driver's license done, then I'll have what I need to plow through the rest of my list (that'll take a few weeks, but I've prioritized it). I'm also changing my gender identification for social security and driver's license, they required 2 different certifications (one from a doctor, one from a therapist), but I have both documents now. As I filled out the payment form at the court I realized it was the first time I officially wrote my new name on something, that felt very good :-) I went out Monday night with a couple of friends for dinner to celebrate "name day" - we went to a TGIF's in Jersey. The evening started off very nicely as the hostess complimented my make-up (which was especially nice as it was the make-up i had on all day, just a little touched-up before dinner). I'll do something more tomorrow night assuming I get my driver's license. xoxo Christie
  6. My expenses has been shoes :-)
  7. I enjoy the verb "transgendering" :-) That's ridiculous that he'd diagnose you as an alcoholic based on that information! i used to be a much heavier drinker (prior life circumstances drove it), and yet I was never an alcoholic (alcohol abuser yes). Having said that, I think you're right that at least there isn't any harm in abstaining for a bit, especially with the possibility of things getting hung up because of it!
  8. Chrissy

    Mrs X...

    I just wrote about my own choice in reply to Jay's blog entry - but will add that it may be a tough choice, but ultimately a great chance to decide on something that is so central to your life that most people don't ever make As far as the possibility of multiple changes, at least legally there are sometimes limits (in some states you can do it twice, aside from marriage-related changes)
  9. Chrissy

    Make Up

    Although not made specifically for transwomen I find stephanie lange's videos on YouTube helpful (she explains things well) I definitely remember having the same fears, but a little practice really does go a long way! As for the beard, Kat Von D makes a tattoo cover-up foundation that is very effective on facial hair (i've found it at sephora). Electrolysis is also good for that
  10. Chrissy

    Names

    My name decision was fairly easy, I just moved my middle name up to the first spot (christie was my mother's maiden name, that's how I got it originally). I'm not sure what I would have picked if I didn't have that - there is an easy "feminization" of my birth name, buy I didn't like it much. I have a favorite musician who's name I could have used (I did take her middle name), but it was my sister's name already
  11. When I was just ocassionally cross-dressing I tended toward a more "fun" wardrobe (mini skirts, short shorts ,etc), but as I started presenting female more often (full time now since August) i've added some more business-like attire, but haven't abandoned mini skirts and short shorts (just not to work obviously)
  12. I recently started a more serious conversation in therapy about what this (transition) really means. I'm not questioning it at all, i'm just trying to figure it out some more. Reading some of the thoughtful posts on here certainly helps, but doesn't get me all the way (and I realize "all the way" might not feel like far enough). I think the real question is how much of this is (1) expressing my real self (excellent), (2) overcoming habits from trying to live as a man for so long (good), or (3) perpetuating female stereotypes (not so good). Still much to figure out and learn xoxo Christie
  13. Chrissy

    No, I'm not Dead

    Warren, First, great tattoo I have 4 myself, I had been planning a full back tattoo, but i'm worries that the hormones might make it too painful. Sometimes it becomes necessary to cut off communications, it can certainly be tough, but ultimately can bring some peace. About 3 weeks ago I emailed my sister saying that if she can't accept who I am, or at least show she is moving in that direction, I won't have any communication with her. Nothing since then, while I still hope she'll come around. I have to accept she might not, and that's really more her loss. Anyway, glad to hear that things seem reasonably ok for you and the job seems to be going well for you Xoxoxoxo Christie
  14. Chrissy

    2 months...

    Hi everyone, I've been less active here recently because of my new position at work - i actually have work to do But I am still trying to keep up with reading entries! It's been 2 months of living full-time as a woman, and about the same on hormones. With the exception of being misgendered a couple of times it's been wonderful. Between this and my new job I don't think i've ever felt such contentment. I do wish my sister would come around, but fortunately i've come out to other family members who have all been very supportive! Next Monday (the 19th) my name officially changes, and my official gender (where I can change that). And when I see the endocrinologist again I plan to ask for referral (s) for a surgeon - if things continue as they are i'm hoping for top surgery next summer. I'm still working on the "what else do I want/need?", but making some progress. I stopped the volunteer gig that I had at a comedy club as it was no longer contributing anything to my life, and next Wednesday I start a new trans group at the lesbian/gay center. I've donated most of my male clothing now (to ascnyc, an aids service group). I'll stop this stream of consciousness now and catch up on some of your entries xoxo Christie
  15. Very nice I recall tthe first time i could tell a guy was smiling at me in a flirty manner it felt really nice (I wasn't interested, but it was nice)
  16. Chrissy

    New job

    Happy Saturday everyone! I just finished my second full week with my new position and my mood is so much better than just a few weeks ago (when I wrote about feeling any lack of purpose). The new position involves managing the school's website and social media accounts. I thought what I had been missing was making a meaningful contribution, and that was true, but more specifically what makes this so good is that it calls on me to make independent editorial decisions, rather than just doing clerical work. Of course I get feedback on what I do, but I enjoy a lot of trust from my supervisor (and her feedback has all been very good and constructive - and reasonable considering I just started). So between my transition and my new position at work, things feel so much better! (The salary increase helps too - ironic that after becoming a woman they started paying me more). As a quick side-note, on Monday i'll be finishing off donating my male clothing, which also feels good (and admittedly I had worried a little about how i"d feel doing it). I found a group in NYC that provides services to people with AIDS, the clothing goes to those with limited resources, so I feel really good about that! And one correction - in my last post I misspelled my new middle name, it is "Anne," not "Ann." Final bit, I bought the cape below today (and a couple of fall/winter coats). Xoxo Christie
  17. Chrissy

    Update - Anxiety

    Lisa, I can't imagine going through this with a spouse, but if there's anything I can do to help please let me know Having gone full-time as a woman now for about a month and a half I can say that it makes a huge difference, i've never been happier and more positive in my life. Good luck! Xoxo Christie
  18. Chrissy

    Catching up

    Hi everyone, I just noticed it's been about 3 weeks since I've written anything! It's been a bit of a whirlwind lately, but mostly in a good or great way. The biggest update is that as of October 19 my name will officially, legally become Christie Ann :-) Then begins the long process of changing my name everywhere (I have a lengthy list going - I just spent some time prioritizing - driver's license, credit cards, HR at work, etc.). Using that as a basis I sent a group-wide email to family members - cousins and extended family - telling them about my transition and my name change. I've heard back - positively - from several of them already. This coming Thursday is my next endocrinologist appointment, so hopefully my HRT prescription will be increased. In general, presenting as a woman has become far more second-nature. I was thrown a little today when I went shopping, the person at Loft started using male pronouns, but I realized it was just because when I went to open an account I had to give her my driver's license, so it was understandable (though still, I was standing right there, openly shopping at store that only sells women's clothing...) Anyway... I do need to resume working on my voice. Work-wise, I got a promotion recently. Although I'm still doing the functions I was doing, they added some marketing responsibilities (website and social media specifically), and increased my pay grade, with a pretty nice salary increase. It makes the prospect of some surgery next summer much more feasible (I'm thinking about top surgery next summer). There are still some things that don't feel quite right - but in general things are moving in a better direction (including my shoulder, which is starting to get back some mobility). One thing I observed about myself last night is that I tend to wait for things to happen rather than doing things. It shows itself the most with my excessive checking of email and twitter. I need to work on that. Anyway, that's my update for now :-) xoxo Christie
  19. Eve, I love the pics! I'm a city girl myself, don't like too much nature around me, but I enjoy looking at it in photos Enjoy Luxembourg! Xoxo Christie
  20. Ooh, triumph! That was my first choice. I used to work on cars with a friend when I lived in North Carolina (I was a straight man in those days) The parking spot near my apt was $150 a month, a bit much when I didn't really need a car at all
  21. That is such a cute car Several years ago I indulged and bought an older MG midget - something I had wanted for a long time - it was short lived, being in NYC I didn't have the resources (money) to keep it.
  22. Finally got around to reading the rest - these are all quite vivid and well-stated - I do hope you are still seeing someone to talk about these things? The phrase "hopeless ambition" really struck me - in the midst of my sleepless depression last night I think that phrase summed up much of how I felt - and how I continue to feel - full of ambition, but feeling that it has nowhere to go. It's still an improvement from before transitioning when I had no ambition (it feels a little worse, but I know it's really better)
  23. UPDATE - at least one of the trouble spots took a move in the right direction today - it looks like my job transition is on it's way to happening, it's just a matter of figuring out the money (everyone seems to agree that I should get more money since they're adding to my job - it's just a question of how much). It isn't going exactly as I would have liked (which would have been a clean transition to our marketing department, vs. merging part of that job into my current job), but it's still a great (hopeful) change
  24. Thank you all for your feedback Now that I'm in front of a computer I feel like I should add some detail since I threw all that out there (I wrote that on my phone last night - I was kind of surprised at how short it looked this morning considering how long it seemed to take to write!) First, I definitely am talking to my therapist about everything! Over the past few sessions we've actually move away from transitioning issues a bit - not completely of course, but recognizing that it isn't the only issue that I need to work through. I think my current malaise/insomnia is a collection of "problems" that are touching on a number of big areas (job, home, health) - none of them individually devastating, but collectively it makes sense that they could drag me down. They will all resolve over time, hopefully not too much time! (the job issue should come to a head one way or another this week). What's compounding the problem is that usually writing in a journal helps me work through some things, or at least reduce their impact. But I'm left-handed, and my surgery was on my left shoulder - although my hand works fine, I was a little surprised at how much your full arm is really necessary when writing long-hand, and how difficult it currently is. I think that's contributing to a bottling-up - I could type things, but somehow that never seems to have the same emotional impact for me as hand-writing (even when I'm working on plays I always write the first draft long-hand).
  25. Ok people, sorry for the bummer of a subject line, but a week of insomnia isn't conducive to optimism It could be from my shoulder surgery, but as each day passes that seems unlikely - it's not hard getting comfortable anymore, I just stay wide awake. I think it is, indirectly transition-related. It's not because of transitioning, but because the transition had been so all-consuming for awhile that I had put aside other concerns. Now that i'm acclimating more to transitioning (though not completely yet), i'm faced with the feeling again that so much of my life feels like a vast, empty wasteland, no matter what way I go, or if I don't go anywhere, it's all the same nothing. Transitioning in this context takes on a new feeling - if i'm going down I might as well go down as me and not a fake sorry for the downer entry - needed to get it out Christie
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