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About Chrissy

  • Rank
    Advanced Member
  • Birthday 07/23/1966

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  • Gender Female
  • Location NYC
  • Interests Tennis, movies, theatre, all things French...and shopping, definitely shopping. Did I mention shopping? And shopping now is sooo much more fun than when I was shopping for the male who occupied my body for too long.

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Chrissy's Activity

  1. Chrissy added a comment on a blog entry: And away we go!   

    I think we need to clarify a point here though - being trans does not mean that one was "born" a different gender. I was not born a male, I was born a female with some wrong parts.
    There are differences of opinion on that fact, but I think it's generally safer not to suggest that trans people were born one gender and "changed" into another.
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  2. Chrissy added a comment on a blog entry: I Don't Care Much for Myself Tonight   

    it'it's definitely true that transitioning doesn't fix everything that might have been "wrong" before, but I think it's also true that living authentically can make it a lot easier to work through those things. I thought back over 2017 myself and realized that where before I just felt "not right" I can now see more clearly what things I need to work on, and also to recognize my strengths, all of which makes me more confident in my ability to grow as a woman and as a person ☺
    Happy new year!!!!
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  3. Chrissy added a comment on a blog entry: I Don't Care Much for Myself Tonight   

    I'm sorry you're feeling down 😞 I certainly don't think you have anything to feel guilty about, moderator or not. Hopefully sharing helped a little, and it will no doubt help others to see the full range of experiences that we go through in transitioning (and life in general!).
    Having a divorce finalized is tough - I went through that awhile back too. In my case the divorce was prompted by my coming out as a gay male, it left me with a lot of guilty feelings.
    I hope you're doing ok!
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  4. Chrissy added a post in a topic: Basic Issues in Transgender Mental Health   

    From what I understand, pretty soon GD is going to be added medical diagnostic manuals and it will likely be removed from the DSM at that point, which I think is the way to go. That way, doctors can work with trans-identified people who want to pursue medical transitioning. On the mental health side we would then deal with the depression, anxiety, etc. that comes along with it for the individual. Those things are all caused by a host of issues, GD is one of the only ones that gets separated out which adds to the stigmatization. They also separate depression that is caused by substance use and by other health issues, but they don't individually break them out (for example, if you are depressed because you have cancer, it's depression linked to a medical condition, NOT depression linked to cancer).
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  5. Chrissy added a post in a topic: Basic Issues in Transgender Mental Health   

    Looks like a good resource - though they do the same thing with Gender Dysphoria that the mental health profession loves to do so much, which is to disregard the impact of discrimination. They frame it as if the depression, anxiety and other effects are all caused by the internal dissonance when it's how you'll be received if you mess with traditional gender norms that causes so much of the problem.
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  6. Chrissy added a comment on a blog entry: Karma DOES Indeed SUCK!   

    That was the most entertaining drivers license application story ever 😛
    Possibly also the only one I've ever heard, but still!!! Well told! Bummer about the full name part though 😞 I hated my middle name growing up too, ironically it's now my first name.
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  7. Chrissy added a post in a topic: New training program for gender affirming surgery in Philadelphia   

    She does both, so I assume the program covers both 
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  8. Chrissy added a post in a topic: New training program for gender affirming surgery in Philadelphia   

    This program is being started by Dr. Kathy Rumer, who did my gender affirming surgery. She and her staff are really great, excited to see that she is doing this!
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  9. Chrissy added a comment on a blog entry: the ocean or the beach   

    I'm so sorry that you have to be going through this without a social support network - it is certainly still very possible, but I understand how much more difficult it can be. And being on a job search at the same time just makes it that much more difficult.
    Perhaps you already have, but have you looked around for any support groups in your area?  They can be hard to find, even in NYC they are few and far between, but a good support group can be really helpful. In the meantime I hope you find some support on this site!
    I'm also totally with you on the idea of being "gender fluid" - I fully identify, and am, female, nothing fluid about it :-)
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  10. Chrissy added a blog entry in On Being...Me   

    Hi all,
    So I wanted to throw this out for discussion - I've been thinking recently about the term "transition" as it relates to the trans community. For starters, I hope nothing that I say here will suggest that I think everyone needs to use the same terminology, particularly for their own experience and journey - it's our story, it's our terminology!
    But in a broader perspective, I have some concerns about the term "transition."  Transition is defined as "the process or a period of changing from one state or condition to another." Put simply, my fear of it's general use, with respect to trans-identified people, is that it perpetuates the narrative of being born X and "transitioning" to Y. In my view, I was NOT a man who transitioned to a woman, I was born a woman with some wrong parts. My "transition" therefore was essentially a medical correction along with a change in my personal presentation.
    And of course that does reflect a transition, so the word works. The problem is that there is an entrenched history of believing that we were born one gender and changed to the other - and I think that the term transition is linked to that narrative. Perhaps it's time to look for a new word, or stop using the word entirely? I think back over my process and wonder if I could have gone without it - in what circumstances did I need the word? For people who knew, I could say that yes, I'm getting some medical support to correct some things, and I'm working towards living my authentic self.
    The "trigger" in this case was discovering that my field placement location uses the initials "CGHT" (cross-gender hormone therapy) for HRT that is being prescribed to trans-identified clients. I'm working on that issue, but I realized the big problem I had with it is that it reaffirms that same narrative with staff who see and use that terminology - I DO NOT take "cross-gender" hormones.
    I am by no means sold on all of this, it's a thought I've been having and wanted to share and see what others in the community think 
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  11. Chrissy added a comment on a blog entry: Saturday Night Quiet   

    I think it's to be expected that your interest in the chat room - and in other areas - will fluctuate depending on where you are in your own journey, or even how you feel that day.
    Earlier this week I went to a bar (gay bar) that I hadn't been to since July. I went because a drag queen who I love so much was back, with a show again. She was the one who used to let me guest perform pretty much whenever I wanted which helped SO much in my "transition." I loved seeing her again, but at the same time felt like being there wasn't right for me anymore. 
    As a member of the trans support group I facilitate said yesterday, even good change is an adjustment and can be difficult.
    I may have gone away from responding to your point ☺
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  12. Chrissy added a comment on a blog entry: 10.31.17 Tuesday   

    You both really do have a lot going on, that can be really taxing (to say the least) - and personally there is very little that I'm happy about at 8:15 a.m. :-)  (unless it's Sunday, then I'm good).
    I'm wondering - for both of you - if you have people to talk to? I mean therapy would be great, but difficult if you're going on the road, but even just close friends who you can talk to individually. Working together through all of this is great, but you do both have individual needs as well.
    And with HRT, typically they'll do blood work first, so you'd have to wait a little anyway. And my own experience with it was that I did feel it, but it wasn't very disruptive. As I recall I just started noticing that I felt all emotions a little more than I had been (happy, sad, angry, etc., they were all just a little stronger). They also start you slow. I did accidentally double my dosage once - the pharmacy had changed the pills so that they were double what they had been and I kept taking the same number - once I realized (about a week) I went back and realized it had been having a pretty big impact - so the moral of the story is "stick with the correct dosage!"  :-)
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  13. Chrissy added a comment on a blog entry: Feminist Event - follow-up   

    I've definitely moved around on that one - from being fine with transgender woman, to trying to ignore the transgender part - where I am now is that I am a woman, and I am transgender. I personally don't want to have the transgender or trans put in front of the woman. To me I think it suggests some "other" type of woman in a way that other modifiers don't do (like talking about someone as "white woman" or a "black woman" is never thought of as suggesting that they aren't women, just a particular intersection - putting "trans" in front feels like it suggests that we are somehow less than a woman - and people like Jenni Murray reinforce that feeling).
    I think that's reinforced by the idea that - as opposed to "white woman" or "black woman," you don't hear people talking about being a "cisgender woman" (I mean you do hear the term, but few people would just randomly say it).
    I was actually going to use that very point in response to her comments too - the fact that I don't want to be referred to as a "transgender woman" doesn't mean that I'll object to an organization using that term where it's appropriate - I might ask them not to refer to me that way, but I understand that it is an accepted term.
    One of the better responses in our discussion to JM's complaint about language - and this applies to other (usually conservative) people who complain about new terms, is that "that's what language does! It evolves!" Which is so very true, language changes and adapts to new situations or new ways of thinking, and that's a very good thing, even if it gets a little confusing sometimes :-)
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  14. Chrissy added a comment on a blog entry: Feminist Event - follow-up   

    I have to say I disagree in part about Jenni Murray. I don't disagree about her specific point about the language, but she was being a little deceptive with what she was doing. The point started with talking about the BMA using "pregnant people" instead of "pregnant women," and she made it sound like she was being expected to refer to herself that way, but that simply wasn't the case. The BMA was trying to find language that would cover everyone they were working with, they were mandating that all pregnant people be referred to that way. So at best her point was simply stupid, at worst is demagogic in that she probably very well knew what she was doing right there.
    I agree as far as the vicar, she might very well have been in an early stage of transition in which - some/many - of us do focus a lot on clothing and make-up. Her thoughts on women's place in the church were really unrelated to her own gender identity - which is true of anyone, the fact that I'm a woman doesn't mean that I now understand every issue relevant to women.
    A bigger take-away for me, in watching the Jenni Murray video and then immediately the little girl (Tuesday was the first time I actually watched them back-to-back) was thinking about how happy the girl is now and how JM would want to take that away from her. Beyond any specific thing she said that makes her overall commentary very cruel.
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  15. Chrissy added a blog entry in On Being...Me   

    Feminist Event - follow-up
    Last night the feminist group I belong to had a discussion about trans issues in the feminist movement - I was the organizer/moderator of the event.  The event was titled "Are Trans Women Real Women?" (the title was intentionally provocative with an obvious "YES" answer).
    I was pretty nervous going in - public speaking isn't really my thing, or at least hadn't been - the group organizer asked me, before anyone else was there, if I was nervous - I said "Yes." But I also said that it would pass as soon as I started talking. I realized later what a change that was - in the past I would have been nervous until it was over, not just until I started talking. But that is what happened, my anxiety peaked right as she introduced me, and then passed immediately. The rest of the way was pretty easy going. We played 4 short videos, the first was from a TERF (just so that they're perspective was shown) and then 3 trans people (the video links are below - the 2nd one is so incredibly moving, I still can't watch it without crying). They we had people pair off to discuss the question "What is a woman?"  Then we came back together as a group and talked for about an hour.
    So that put me in an interesting place - I was the only trans person present, and I was the moderator. So early on in particular I tried to hang back and let other people talk, even when I had a clear answer to a question or point. That worked nicely, there was a lot of value in letting the group work through issues that they hadn't before. The question proved particularly good as it was one that most people hadn't thought about before ("What is a woman?"). One person acknowledged that she probably had always gone through life without a definition but with a "I know it when I see it" belief.
    It's a really good group, we always have good discussions, and I think some good came of this, particularly in terms of people having a better understanding of trans issues and cisgender privilege. They even came to recognize that by even having to have this discussion suggests that the feminist movement is largely a cisgender movement (in addition to being a white movement).
    On a personal note, I'm thrilled at having done this. It's one more thing that I would never have thought about doing pre-transition, and now not only did I do it, but I want to do more of it.
    Chrissy (Jenni Murray) (girl with cards) (Lee Mokobe) (Janet Mock)
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