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Chrissy

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Blog Comments posted by Chrissy

  1. Emma,

    I'm so sorry you had to go through that! It's horrible to be confronted like that in any situation, but especially in a group therapy session that should be supportive. I hope Susan can do something to resolve it in a fully satisfactory way.

    Personally, I can certainly understand the desire to understand why Pamela did what she did, but it might just lead to greater frustration since you can never be sure unless she tells you. If she's already prone to be like that it might have been made worse by something going on in her life. I don't mean to suggest that as an excuse, it's not, but a possible explanation.

    I think the most important thing to remember is that whatever it was, it was on her and you shouldn't internalize it (and believe me, I know that's easier said than done, i'be let myself feel hurt over far less incidemts).

    At least you have this space as an alternate venue, certainly not a substitute for in person meetings, but it's somewhere to turn.

    XOXO

    Christie

    • Like 3
  2. Emma and Veronica,

    Thank you both so much for your kind feedback :)

    The clouds seemed to have passed right now. I wasn't that sure this morning, but I got up and went to the gym and now feel ok (it helped that I got my latest Kohl's order yesterday, which included some cute new gym clothes).

    So ironically my cloudy day has passed just as an actual cloudy day has descended.

    xoxo

    Christie

    • Like 2
  3. Thank you everyone for the comments! It did go very well on Saturday, in fact we probably only talked about it a few minutes since it really didn't come as a surprise to her (we talked longer about "Star Trek," having not previously known of each other's love of the franchise).

    The more interesting part of the conversation to me ended up being about dating. I haven't dated anyone in quite awhile, but feel more motivated and more confident to pursue that area of my life now that I'm starting to be more honest with myself about who I am. Since I was trying to be something else, obviously the people I tried to date weren't really right for me - hopefully now I can do a better job of it :)

    Eve, I agree with your prediction about my wardrobe - the only things I've purchased recently are women's clothing, the only thing that currently keeps me from scrapping everything else is money. But I'll be replacing everything over time!

    • Like 1
  4. Lisa,

    Thank you for the feedback! With this particular friend I expected it to go fairly easily, and it did. We have a long history of being very open and supportive of each other.

    Fortunately I have several friends in that category, it's if and when I get to family that things might get trickier. Both of my parents passed away, so it's mainly my brother and sister, neither of whom is terribly enlightened. i'm sure i'll go much further on my own journey before I discuss it with them.

    Xoxo

    Christie

    • Like 2
  5. Oops, I meant to include a specific example of a question that gave me something to think about - it was recent, a quiz about Gender Reassignment Surgery - I won't try to quote the question exactly, but the thought process that it prompted for me was basically "if there were absolutely no downsides or difficulties in doing it, would you?" Of course there are downsides and difficulties, but I think it's a good starting point (it really works in many areas of life - "if there was nothing to fear, would you do it?").

    But I agree, for me they're mostly just fun - and an occasional diversion from a job that I often hate. Adding to their deficiencies is that I'm pretty good at "putting my thumb on the scale" to get the answer I want (though again, that can be telling in itself).

    I do currently see a therapist, and put much more stock in him :-)

    • Like 2
  6. I agree, it's helpful but I know it won't resolve everything for me (as much as I love spreadsheets!). A quick reading of it suggests that I'm somewhere between Types III and IV - but a year ago I probably would have said I and II - so the evolution continues!

    I find something similar with the various on-line quizzes - none can or should be taken too seriously, but occasionally they'll throw in a question which in itself gives me something to think about.

    • Like 1
  7. Emma,

    Definitely go for it with the shoes! I kind of do that, I wear a lot of women's shoes, but they're running shoes, so it may or may not be obvious (I might also be skewed in terms of knowing what "obvious" is). I get a lot of my shoes at Payless, they have an excellent selection in my size (11).

    I think my next challenge is at the gym - I have several pairs of yoga pants, and pink work-out top that I want to wear there. I go very early, so it's minimal exposure, but a start.

    xoxo

    Christie

    • Like 2
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