Chrissy

Good luck on the license exam!!!

Thinking of your comment about wanting to be or be with a beautiful woman - an early memory for me is after seeing "Grease," thinking I wanted to "be with" Olivia Newton-John, then later realizing I wanted to "be" her :-)   (of course I was 10 years old at the time, so I wouldn't have known what to do "with" her even if I had the chance).

Sizing can be tough as it can vary from designer to designer (or even within a designer in some cases) - that's why I like the Jennifer Lopez collection @ Kohls, I always fit in large with her 😛

With my men's clothing I ended up donating almost all of it to an AIDS organization in NYC. Nice tax break!

Same here, I've never been a big chat room person (I think I've looked into the chat rooms here once or twice, and very briefly both times - possibly because nobody was there)

I did change my gender marker pre-surgery on everything except my birth certificate (NJ requires bottom surgery before you can change that, but that should change next year when we lose our current pathetic governor). 

Another consideration for a lot of people is access to surgery, not everyone has the resources to get them done. 

I remember after Sandy my power was out for about a week, and the most frustrating thing was seeing that it was coming on near me, but I went another couple of days without 😞 Not a fun experience!

Wow, "genital mutilation." What does one say? My GCS surgeon was on a panel I saw yesterday and my thought was "she's the person who made me (physically) right." Far cry from "mutilation" ☺

I'm not surprised on the sexual orientation part, even LG people seem to often have a problem knowing the difference between gender identity and sexual orientation.

Karen,

I'm so sorry to hear that - hopefully they'll both be fine, but it's still a difficult process to go through :-(

And great point about getting checked! I've been more assertive about talking with my doctor and endocrinologist to understand what things I need to be watching for that I might not have before (of course that's also part of getting older - but never mind that!!!)

xoxo

Chrissy

I suspect you will have "typical" days again, they'll just be a different "typical" 😛

Xoxo

Chrissy 

Michelle,

Congrats on the job! It sounds challenging, working with kids in a detention setting, but possibly very rewarding. Anyone who has been exposed to the criminal "justice" system is going to have a rough time, they need all the support they can get if they're going to have any chance after.

And congrats on growing into Michelle ☺ I definitely know what you mean about there being no going back! It is sad that it's connected to your wife passing - that seems like it would be very bittersweet - but you have to keep doing what you need and want.

Xoxo

Chrissy

Karen,

That's so great! I know that it's best to not live for external validation, but it's always nice - really nice ☺

I also like the sense from the first "moment" of simply feeling comfortable with another woman. I've gotten closer to one of the (female) bartenders at the jazz bar I go to. The other night I was leaving when she did and so we stopped outside to chat - that went on for about 1/2 hour - mainly about the jazz band members from that night (a little about their musical ability, but mostly other stuff 😛)

Xoxo

Chrissy 

Emma,

That's all so wonderful   I find too that being correctly gendered still makes me very happy (I do think that having recently stopped wearing a wig kicked that back up again, but I never stopped enjoying it).

I feel like voice trainers have some deal with ENT specialists, mine did the same thing!  And I also got a clean bill of health. Perhaps that's just cynical, it probably is a good idea, just seems suspicious 

Enjoy your ongoing "space trip"!!!

xoxo

Chrissy

bluemoon,

Thanks for your comment! I have to admit that although I do think about gender nonbinary and gender nonconforming individuals and issues, I don't end up saying much about it - part of that is because I consider it something that I'm still learning, part of it is based on where I am in terms of transitioning. Having lived for 49 years (more or less - a little less actually) as a "man," and only now living as a woman, I admittedly don't like to let go of all gender norms. When it comes to clothing in particular I'm more likely to use male and female references because I finally get to wear the women's clothing that I feel I should have been all my life!

But it is problematic to use gender references when it comes to clothing, people should be perfectly free to wear what they want without thinking about whether or not it fits their gender. So it's something I'm working on :-)

Chrissy

Emma,

It's funny you mentioned that about the jeans - recently I was having lunch with a male friend who said that a girl he dated pointed out that he had women's jeans on. He seemed ok with that idea, but wasn't positive - the first question I asked about them (he wasn't wearing them at that moment) was "do they have essentially useless pockets?"  (they did, so yes, they were women's jeans). I learned that it's both that the pockets are smaller, and the jeans are partly made of spandex, so they pull in (which means if your keys will fit, they'll hurt because they're being pulled into your leg).

Something else re timing that I didn't think about before - I was kind of ready to start transitioning around April or May of that year (2015), but I was working at a school and I did a lot of exam proctoring. Since exams were about to happen, I didn't want the first time students (at least the ones who knew me) seeing me as a woman to be when they're about to take a final exam, so I waited until the semester and exams were done. The nice part was that meant that the students were gone, faculty was gone, and staff were on and off vacation - so I had a couple of months to get used to presenting as a woman at a pretty empty school. So by late August when classes started again I was much more comfortable.

xoxo

Chrissy

Brew,

I've experienced acid reflux, still do, it's not fun! The steps you're taking sound good! I also found that stopping eating earlier (several hours before bed) helps, and Prilosec (though that isn't a great long term solution).

Over time I've also figured out, and try to avoid, foods that I know will trigger it (sadly that includes ice cream).

Good luck with your efforts!

Chrissy

Emma,

That doesn't sound negative at all  A recurring theme in the past school year was about the importance of self-care, and I think that's exactly what you're talking about. It's important for everyone (social work adds to it since you're daily working with others and their problems, but still, it's a universal need).

And I think that's essentially what I've been trying for since classes ended, in this space in time before the fall semester ends. I just want to get a little better sense of what's holding me back and what I can do to resolve that (in addition to just taking it easy for a bit!)

xoxo

Chrissy

​Thank you for this feedback :-)

I have thought about the fact that my parents undoubtedly had their own issues, and I don't think there was anything intentional or willful about what they did (or didn't do). I'm pretty sure my mother suffered from depression for some period of her life, and given the time it wasn't addressed (it was during a period when you still didn't want to acknowledge that kind of thing). That's why a key moment for me was to put that behind and just focus on where I am now and what I can do about it :-)

I never thought I'd say this, but congrats on getting slimed 

Charlotte,

That's so nice about the riders, it must have felt nice ☺

Sorry about the other incidents, it's horrible but it is a reality for trans people. I wish I had something more inspiring to fall back on but I can say that in my experience the positives about living an authentic life far outweigh the bad.

Stay strong!

Xoxo

Chrissy

Wow, I didn't realize the number was that high. I haven't given them up entirely, I just need to know that I'm wearing them as a choice, not because I feel less like a woman without. I know that's not objectively true - I'm every bit as much a woman with or without a wig - but it's a self-perception I need to work through.

A "pixie cut" seems to be a good option for those things ☺

There's definitely no such thing as too late . We always have the rest of our lives.

I def find it easier to live healthier being out and transitioned - nothing like living authentically to get you to care more about your health!

So sorry you had to experience that. I'm sure most of us live with the realization/fear of being rejected for our identity, and the actual experience of it, but to have it put to you so directly must be difficult.

The closest I've come to this is with my sister - no letter, but a couple of phone calls and a text established that she didn't accept my gender identity, we don't speak anymore.

I guess I would just try to remember that even though the person who sent you the letter referred to "others" being upset or offended, they were really only speaking for themselves. 

Xoxo

Chrissy

I wish I was close enough to take your class :-)

Charlotte,

Good luck with your efforts! Very worthwhile. Is it a 2 year wait for anything specific, or is that for any medical transitioning?

That is a long wait - on the other hand, it seems like it's probably more available than it is in the US to many. I'm not trying to one-up you, just to say that it seems neither country is quite getting it right yet. 

Chrissy

This is such a great, concise way of summing up the experience of transitioning. I've said a number of times to friends that the past couple of years have been the most amazing, and the most terrifying years of my life - and neither term adequately expresses the actual feelings behind them.

I hope that the "I'll be fine" part continues to outweigh the "but..." part!

Xoxo

Chrissy