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Christy

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About Christy

  • Rank
    Advanced Member
  • Birthday 11/15/1976

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  • Gender
    Transgender
  • Location
    Florida
  • Interests
    Tennis, Painting, Shopping, Music, Yoga, Scuba, Golf, Snowboarding, Skiing, Hiking, Motorcycles, Movies

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  1. Christy

    This world is destroying my family

    I know NJ and you are correct that the teens in most parts can be hard core. I still have some family there. Not all but a lot of sixteen year old girls dress like 25 year olds. The boys are no different. Tough land for the timid. BUT and that is a big but, there are more transgender people all around you than you think. They are at the store, in the movie theater, bowling Ali , cafe, golf course, race track, riding by you on their motorcycle, ball game, Delivering babies. Etc. You just don’t know it because they pass! That is the truth. The earlier you transition....the better you will pass and most people who transition later in life wish they had done it earlier. There is a plus side to a later transition: money, knowledge, life experience. Transgender people are for the most part strong mentality because of the crap they go through. Times are changing and most kids today are pretty dam understanding. Stick up for your kids, fight for them. Fight for your family. Don’t let your kids manipulate you. At some point your other kids might need to meet some new people. Might help. I personally don’t get bent out of shape when people don’t understand. Hell it took me a long time to wrap my head around it. 10 years ago I would have said the same things you are saying. I would have felt the same way. Some people are hell bent on forcing their views and beliefs on others. They demand to be understood but that is selfish in my opinion. I do know that your child will be healthier if you spend some time getting to know some trans people. (Maybe you already do). Hear their stories. Before I would have been terrified to go to lunch with a trans friend in fear of association. AND I AM TRANS! Crazy. The truth is that where ever your child ends up she/he will have friends and love as long as you are their to guide him/her. Learn as much as you can. Here is a good YouTube link to get you started. https://youtu.be/GW8Plf_IXGs “Face that what you fear and that fear will die” Emerson All my best. Christy
  2. Christy

    Wow

    Great Picture! It is nice to see you living life with a smile. I just got back from 8 days hiking the SW National parks Zion, Bryce, Grand canyon etc. and was shocked at how many trans people I met along the way. There was even a young FTM in our tour group. MTF park rangers and tourists from around the world. I am sure there were many more that I didn't even realize. Just incredible. I must say I am a bit jealous because I would have loved to hike around and swim in the rivers as me but I'm not quite ready yet. Someday. Enjoy life Emma!! Love the pics. Christy
  3. Christy

    This world is destroying my family

    yes I know. I agree. Both can use it as a tremendous tool. But there is a lot of crap as well. Especially for vulnerable children.
  4. Christy

    This world is destroying my family

    Hello. I would suggest a slow approach. Nothing needs to happen today or tomorrow. Tiny baby steps along with the correct therapist can make a big difference. Have a plan and to move forward very slowly. Then see how everything is going a month or 2 down the road. Children need a strong father in their lives. It’s really important. They also want everything right now. At that age you have time for learning. The best physical changes are not over night. A slow process will give the child time to comprehend life and make adjustments. I believe they will be better able to handle life mentally. YouTube is very helpful BUT without guidance the child will see others seemingly change over night living glorious lives. I feel that the future holds a lot of problems for many I have seen it first hand. They moved to quickly without truly contemplating what this really means. The feelings can be overwhelming for trans people but there is a way to figure this all out. As much as she feels like a boy she will never truly be one. (For now anyways) Biologically speaking. She needs to understand that first with help from a professional and more importantly you and your wife. Be honest with each other. Don’t try to win arguments but do voice your fears and love for your child. Say what you mean but don’t say it mean because there is no reason to. Fighting helps no one. The science is out on this in many areas but I do know this is real. There are some brain differences and may be do to what the child was exposed to in the early stages of growth. Maybe not for all but many. I always try to keep an open mind and admit I might be wrong about my beliefs. My intuition is telling me that the child is hooked on YouTubers and it all seems fantastic. I would find out exactly what your child is looking at. Youtube. Instagram. Websites etc. If your daughter is trans she is confused about a lot and needs help to find out what that means. Maybe she doesn’t transition all the way. Maybe there is some balance for the child. Blockers can give you more time but the implications are unknown in the long run. 11 year old children should not make huge decisions with massive consequences on there own. The probability of giant mistakes go way up. Take it slow and talk it through honestly with everyone in the family. Most people fear what they don’t understand so try to help everyone understand how this will effect them. I wish being trans on no one because it is tuff but there are great things that can come out of it too. I hope this helps and always ask questions because it help everyone when you do. Just remember it doesn’t have to be a curse and maybe your child’s life will change the world for the better. Transition or not. That’s just my opinion so take it for what it’s worth. Those who disagree with me I would love to here from you because I’m always learning and growing. I keep my eyes open. Oh..don’t forget to huge your family today. Christy
  5. Christy

    Did traumatize myself a tiny bit?

    So How do I see things today? Well the train is chugging along at an acceptable pace. I am still on hrt and doing all the things I was before the pit stop. I am just taking things much slower in every way. I have dialed back everything to a level that is comfortable enough for me to keep moving forward. I will pay attention to everything more closely especially how my decisions will affect me and others down the road. I ask myself all the time “what does this really mean & what are the consequences”. Do I really need to take this particular step or do I just want to. It used to bother me being in an “I between stage” but I have learned to accept it and actually have fun with it. YouTube has helped a lot. Girls that have expressed the same thoughts and feelings that I have or have had in the past. I tend to relate to the girls that aren’t all glammed up. They are not putting on a show just talking about what they have been through. Physically and emotionally. I guess my main focus is to be as healthy as possible in every aspect of life. That is a tall order but at least it is something to aim at. Just aiming at being a passable functional girl seems really shallow to me now. As trans people we are extremely valuable to the world in that we have a unique perspective on life. No cis man or woman can fully understand this in my opinion. Life is to dam short to sit in shi.... I think we are here to experience the physical world and I really don’t know what being stuck in the wrong body means but there is still time for me to ponder this. Why is this happening to humanity? Something deep down is telling me that this might be a step in evolution. I might be just crazy thinking, wishful thinking or a way for me to cope with life but.....I don’t know. My intuition is telling me that I might be on to something here. It’s funny how when people talk about alien visits, visions, or sightings like the “grays” for example. They are rarely identified by sex really. I have to laugh at myself sometimes but hey, who knows. I like to stay positive if I can and I’m a bit of a jokester as well. With that I will go and have fun with Father’s Day. I’m going to get all machoed up for a day to see how I feel. Lol.   Christy 👽 
  6. Christy

    Uhmmm

    The conversations I have with myself about who I am and who I want to be help guide me on this journey. It’s a fun way for me to think about life (As 2 separate people) but, I only have one body so what to do? Who will dominate in the future? I don’t know yet and that is ok for now. I was studying PTSD recently and it related to me in a way. Even though I have been thinking and wanting and wishing to be a girl my whole life, I never really thought I would be. Ever. Unless some magical event took place I would be stuck with what I had been born with. Then when I was desperate enough during one of those moments (which there were many) I took a small step. This first step made me feel great. It was scary and exciting at the same time and what was once a dream now seemed like a reality or a possibility anyway. The momentum was building and I knew that I had to keep taking steps otherwise I might fall back into the same crappy place again. The excitementand the feelings were overwhelming and to see smallphysical changes (which seemed huge at the time) just made true transition a reality in my mind. Even though I was in therapy a lot and thought I was mentally prepared for this, I was not. The little girl popped out and she was running the show. Just like a teenager. As long as it wasn’t obvious to the outside world what I was up to things were acceptable and manageable for me mentally. Within in 3 months I had facial and some body hair removed, I was on hrt under a doctors care, I came out to some people, joined trans groups, let my hair grow (which was a lot harder than I thought it would be, looked like crap) bought clothes and started wearing them when I could, practicing my voice everyday, learning and wearing makeup, made my eyebrows feminine, doing yoga at least 3 times a week and lost 35 lbs while changing my eating habits. Looking back at this it all seems extremely fast but that is what she wanted. The realization that this was to quick of a time line started to creep up on me. When Ifinally stopped and took a long look at what I was actually doing I freaked out a bit. The hrt had removed much of my dysphoria and the reality of how hard and long this transition was going to be became clear. Do I really need to change? I was naïve and the shell shock was too much. I hadn’t prepared mentally for this and I needed to get it right one way or the other. So pulled the cord on the train and got off telling my doc what I was up to. I had traumatized myself just a little bit and needed to regroup. Now I feel much better about things and I have more confidence in my decisions but I have to keep checking in. I also have friends that will tell me when I’m swerving off the path. Will I stay on the train for the rest of the trip? Probably not because I learned so much about myself at the last stop. But then again who knows! treat someone nice today that doesn’t deserve it. It will come back to you when you need it. Christy😻
  7. Christy

    The Talk.

    Hello girls and thank you for the comments. This story is about me-the man and me-the female. It is about the male letting go and the female growing up. The Native American culture has members of the tribe that are trans and they call them 2 spirits. It take a lot of thought to go from one identity to another. So in the blog the he/him is me. Everything I have experienced in life up until I admitted I was trans. All the great things that “he” has done need to be respected and embraced by her. (The newly announced female). The “she” also needs the same respect from “him”. She has always been there in the backround helping him. They have been helping each other all along, they just didn’t know it. It does sound weird but it’s about embracing all that I am. The girl is now activated in the outside world and this is new territory for her. She needs help and “he” is there to help with his wisdom. I am one person but if I think about this transition as 2 separate people then I can move forward with less pain. Think of it like this - he is passing the on control of everyday life to her but she has never been in control before so he is helping her to learn. It can be scary for both.... Christy
  8. Christy

    The Talk.

    I posted this in the forum as well. Let me know what you think. Am I crazy? I don't think I am. This is about how I have been dealing with the male and female sides of myself. My 2 spirits if you will. Are there really 2 spirits or personalities? I really don't know but I do know this. Thinking, writing and talking with myself in this manner has given me a sense of peace. A better understanding of myself. I'm not sure where we are going but I plan on making it as fun as I possibly can. I do feel that everyone has something to offer this world and I enjoy helping them find out what that might be. Or at least try. Watching a person “wake up” to the full world is fascinating and meaningful. It seems I keep waking up myself and reforming my opinions about me and me and the world. So, why did I get off the transition train for a bit and then hop back on? Well, something just didn’t feel right and it wasn’t fear. Responsibly for others was a big part and I needed to take a closer look at what the destination of this journey really was. I have kept my feelings about being or wanting or wishing to be female a secret for sooooo long that when I finally admitted it, the girl was ready to run. So she did and it seemed like there was no stopping her. She planned on being fully in place within a year. She was so excited about this idea that she lost track of the real world and everything she had helped to create in her lifetime. Luckily her best friend who she thought was holding her down came to her rescue. He taught this very young, happy, excited and all knowing girl to slow down. Almost in a child like way she was bound to make big mistakes and hurt herself. So with a loving hand he started to walk with her but not hold her back, just to keep her close. He gave this child some space to test her confidence and explore the world, but he was always there close by to help her understand the world and comfort her when she needed it. She is free to bump her knee and get hurt so she can learn from her mistakes. This is the only way she is going to grow into the women she might want to be. He is kind of like a parent or older brother in many ways, always there to protect her when she needs help but has enough wisdom to know that this is her journey to travel. She is growing and aging extremely fast which causes him to worry more than normal. This is the first time he has ever done this and he knows he will make mistakes. She entered her teenage years very quickly and she became selfish and arrogant, thinking she knew all the answers. She knew exactly what she wanted and needed so she started making plans without thinking it through or talking it over with him. I want, I need, I am, I will be, I will feel, I will see and then I will be able to breathe. Now he has a full grown teenager on his hands in a very short period of time and she has the resources of a full grown adult. Off she went doing what she wanted and he was left behind (she wouldn't even talk to him) which made him sad, but he understood this is a tough journey for her so, he let her go. Growth is what he was praying for, in himself and her. For him the acceptance of raising this girl was a bitter pill to swallow because he knows that when she is fully on her own he may not exist anymore. Fortunately, he loves her more than he loves himself so, he says nothing to her about his fears. Feeling guilty for holding her back for so many years, he lets her get away with more than he should have but, that is when she saw him clearly for the first time. He had been such a strong figure in her life providing security and protection but now something was different. She realized he was vulnerable and sad in certain ways and she couldn't believe she never noticed this before. She was unsure of herself. Like a princess in a castle always looking out the window dreaming of what could be she never really looked around. She was living in a strong beautiful castle that pampered her all the time, she just didn't know it. She wasn't allowed to leave the castle because his fear for her and himself was so strong that the doors could not open no matter how hard he tried. He had worked on opening those giant wooden doors everyday for his entire life. She became embarrassed about all the selfish things she had done and said vowing to change her ways, but that is a tall order to fill for such a young girl. She headed back into the castle were she felt comfortable and she helped him work on those giant wooden doors. As time went by they both grew and found a whole new respect for each other. They started appreciating all the things that each of them bring to the relationship.The good and the bad. They discussed what the future might look like if they never get the doors open and leave the castle. They talked for hours upon hours about what life would be like if they did get the doors open. Where would they go? Would they go together? Who would decide where and what to do? Would they both survive this unknown world? She grew into a women during this time and he could see how strong she was becoming. He was proud of her. She finally saw him for the man he had always been and loved him for it. Instead of fighting with each other they were working together and communicating about their individual needs and desires. Likes & Dislikes. That is when they found the key that opened the doors. It was lying on the table in the foyer, right in front of them the entire time, they were just to blind to see it. They have a deep trust for each other that for now seems unbreakable. Now he was ready to let go completely so, he said go explore the world you have a great adventure before you. I love you with all my heart and if you need anything at all you know where to find me. She smiled looked out at the beautiful world and took her first step. She turned back to him and asked...would you like to join me on this adventure? He smiled and said...of course I would but I think you should lead the way for awhile if you don't mind. I'd be happy to she said but we are at our best when we work together. Back on the Train..........of life. When I think of myself and my life as a story that is being written...by me & me.....it inspires me want to write the best dam story I can. Christy
  9. Emma gave some great advice. I would suggest taking things slow and the train ride concept is spot on. As a 16 year old your natural hormones are most likely stirring up a lot of unfamiliar feelings. At that stage in life is when we learn how to sort them out and a professional therapist can help with that. Take it slow, that is the best way to find out who you really are without making big mistakes. That is the whole point of life isn’t it and remember that just when you think you have it nailed down. You might just think again and again and yes again. That’s how we grow and life becomes more meaningful. This is all normal but for what ever reason most people feel weird talking about it. My personal suggestion is to be an individual and don’t let yourself get lumped into a group. Organize your thoughts. Really, that is important for everything in your life. Be aware of everything and most importantly be safe. I hope you find the way. Asking questions here is a great start. C
  10. This is really great and looks much nicer as well. Thank you so much!
  11. Since researchers proposed that there is no significant rise when treated with spironolactone as the adjunct anti-androgen, it’s not necessary to monitor those on this treatment combination. That is one hell of a quote from such a small study. I will stay safe and monitor everything. Here's a link if you feel like knowing more about your brain (just a start). http://pituitary.ucla.edu/prolactinoma
  12. Just so people know. A private citizen may sue the President over alleged actions undertaken before or independently of the Presidential office. When the President acts on the authority of his office in any way, he is shielded by the doctrines of immunity.
  13. This change sounds great....but if they make even the slightest mistake it could cause great hardship. ie. healthcare coverage goes bye bye. No HRT, surgery, long waiting periods, supply shortages. the ripple effect could harm innocent people. Not good for the long term understanding of transgender people. Even if everything goes fine the re-coding will take a lot of time and effort from a corporate view. Time & Effort translates to $$. and those costs will get passed on they have to. It is far more complicated than most people think which is why they haven't touched it. Corporations are people. People make mistakes. If you have a 401K you are part of many corporations. I hope they reallllllllllly think this through and get all sides to solve the problem.
  14. Hello girls, Thanks for the ideas I really appreciated everything you all have said. The therapist of that group is the real problem in my opinion so I will keep my distance. My friend is new to therapy and quite vulnerable at this point. Sold on the hoops that need jumping through. This was a sales pitch (from the therapist) and a form of control (needs more clients). Giant gate keeper. (I know sometimes you need a gate) My friends that I have meet do social meet ups and that is great but I see what is going on. Not all have drank the cool aid but my closest friend has. Time will tell. He/she is pretty smart so I think it’s just a matter of time before she sees it. ( she just told me she likes she better) Anyway I’m in a great place and I will continue to go to the meet ups and the group meeting. I think it’s important to support my friends and see if I can help in anyway. I will also Have a better context for questions or emotions that might pop up after the meeting. Most people are more confused after the meeting and feel worse but this is the only one around for now😉. At this point I feel like I can handle anything that is thrown at me. I see all of this from a new perspective so I will go for the others and maybe learn something about myself. Christy
  15. Christy

    Blood test

    Hello Jessica, i know from my experience that life is full of ups and downs and we all do the best we can. I have also found that everything I perceive as a problem is actually an opportunity in disguise. It can be hard at times to figure out what that really means but there is something. So l look inside myself and outside myself searching for what this means. “Why is this happening? What can I learn? Can this experience Benifit someone else?” . At the very least it takes my mind to a different place. A lot like music does, except this process builds momentum towards something. (I also do both at the same time quietly) But I know this.....every time I help someone else, I feel better about myself. So I love Monica’s suggestion to reach out for help and maybe you will find it and the people that do help you will feel better about themselves. Also in that process you might help someone who is going through similar issues. Your post might have already touched someone. It cause me to post. On and on it goes but You will never know unless you try. My wishes are with you. Christy
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