For those who live outwardly as males...

31 posts in this topic

Posted

Just wondering about some of the things others may do to express their femininty even if living as a male most of the time. Especially when appearing as a male.

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Posted

I'm not sure I qualify to post on this since I don't identify as CD, but hey ;) --

- My toenails have been painted pink for so long now that I can't remember when without looking it up ^_^

- I got a shirt at Old Navy the other day (in the guys' section of all things) that's about the color of Big Red gum. It looks pink. I wear that sometimes.

- I have long hair and take no pains to make it look masculine. (Sadly my tall forehead does that for me a lot of the time, unless I take special efforts to fix it the area.)

- I sometimes grow my fingernails out, at least until they annoy me too much while typing :)

- I keep my legs hair-free and often my arms. I don't have much chest hair either but I usually keep that clean as well. (I actually like arm hair, but not my dark "titanium alloy" hair :lol: )

- Sometimes I'll walk differently

- Sometimes I'll get my under-things from the 'hers' side of my closet..

- I'm in the process of lasering my beard

- I tend to make things (like login names and computer names) subtle reminders of my 'real' name

- My natural voice (when I don't try to sound uber-masculine) is moderately soft and towards the upper 3rd or so of the male range

Wow. :lol: I guess the question is more like, what do I do to live outwardly as male, but then again I did say I'm not sure I qualify to answer!

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Posted

Hmmm... let's see...

I'm growing my hair long, and, like Aylwin, I will make no effort to make it look masculine (my body does that for me more than enough)

I wear shirts with pink and/or flowers

I have a collection of girl toys (baby dolls, Disney Princess memorabilia, Hello Kitty stuff, things like that) and play with them all the time

I socialize with girls as much as I can (which, sadly, isn't much right now :( )

I made a site about my experience as a girl with a male body

I have a bright pink blanket with yellow, pale blue, and pale green making a plaid pattern, with a pillow to match

I read lots of books for, by, and about women

I draw pictures of women

I talk/sing in a feminine voice when no one's around (actually, my speech sounds kind of feminine anyway; people over the phone think I'm my mom)

Basically, around guys (FTMs excepted), I try to act more masculine, and around women, I just let them put 2 and 2 together.

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Posted

I wear panties and bra (without inserts). I don't even know if I own mens underwear anymore

I paint my toenails also

My walk is feminine, I almost have to force myself to walk as a man anymore

I work on my voice all the time but not around those I know. Convent stores and such.

I keep most of the hair off my body. (Legs arms pits)

I spend a lot of time with good friend (GG who I am out to) and whether I am in Feminine mode or Male mode she seems to always treat me as Katie

Only at work do I make a full attempt to be in male mode with actions or movements. Other than that I try to let my feminine side rule.

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Posted

Let's see, I have my hair long but as a guy I comb it straight back 50's style but I use a lot of mega spray to hold it in place, I manicure my nails, short but feminine. I shave my legs and underarms. I have to wear a sports bra to hold my boobs in. I wear panties. I wear womens tank top t-shirts. I wear womens pajamas, the lounge kind. I wear clear mascara, I swim in a ladies one piece swim suit every other day. I pluck my eyebrows. I practice talking in my female voice every chance I get. I watch loads of chick flicks. I love LMN. :P I sit and walk feminine. I have some ladies clothes that I wear mostly jeans and shorts. My tennis shoes are all women's shoes. I'm always looking for more ideas, so I think this is a great question. :rolleyes: Oh yes I wear whatever ladies jewelry that doesn't look too out of place. ;)

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Posted

I wear panties all the time. I wear camis and tops at home. I'll wear a bra on ocaasion. I paint my toesnails and, on occasion, my fingernails. I don't have much body hair but I shave under my arms.

I haven't changed my voice yet but I may have to. My feminine walk is good especially when I wear heels. Being a lady can be work :D but I love it.

Gennee

:)

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Posted

well, I'm working on coming out 24X7 in 2008

for months I have been wearing panties and also wearing nail polish on my toenails.

the latest developments in my 24X7 quest include wearing nail polish on my fingernails all the time (at work too), and letting my natural hair grow much longer, so I may not need a wig anymore in a month or two. Several ladies have commented positively on my new look, and they have been picking out the weekly nail color for my nails. I also wear mascara 24X7 too.

Of course, I am on hormones, doing laser hair removal, and have been for several months. I also keep my arms and legs free of hair.

tgirl Bobbie Jo

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Posted

All I do is shave my under arms and legs (other areas as well). I wear my hair long and paint my nails. I don't wear womens clothes although at the same time it can be hard to shop in stores for them as well.

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Posted

Hrm, interesting topic. I've been reading it and I'm leery to post on it because I was sort hoping to see the reactions I had been getting and concisely putting it into words. I guess I'll just hold off on those observations till later in 08 when I'll have more input on them.

As of now though, I do technically live as 'male' although I'm not sure when that line is crossed. Afterall, I doubt many of us walk around with our gender affixed on a card on our clothing to let everyone know.

So, while i say I live as a male, I mean that in the sense that I just simply live, I do and wear what I like, and let the rest fall where it may. I don't claim to be a girl to strangers nor do I really get all that offended if someone calls me sir and then 20 minutes later I'm called ma'am. I prefer the latter, but again, life is so complicated as is, I'd rather not get caught up in such petty junk, I get enough headaches from stuff like Roth Funds, 401K crap and learning more stuff for work and my own career.

I own a variety of clothes ranging from guys, to girls, to even XL kids stuff when it comes to sports jerseys for teams I like because they are #1 cheaper, and #2 MUCH more fitting, even a Small tends to make me feel like I'm swimming. Primarily, in the winter months, I wear a random tshirt that is a bit 'artsy' or unique and I wear a women's hoodie over it, but nothing too terribly feminine. Like The one I got on now is a cable knit hoodie from the hollister juniors section. Those who read me as a guy just assume its a small guy's hoodie or that its a chicks and Im just 'emo' so 'its ok.' Those who read me as female just see it as 'business as usual.' I do own a couple pairs of girls jeans but due to comfort issues (and the guy's style's at certain stores catering more to that 'emo' or 'effeminate' aesthetic that is catching on) I tend to just wear a girly pair of guys jeans. I do have two pairs of American Eagle jeans from their juniors section that I absolutely love, but they are like stretch material sorta so, while I dont need the stretch material in the legs cause they actually fit a lil loosely, it allows space in, well, *that* area.

Aside from clothing, I have long hair now, long enough that the accidental 'ma'am's have started up again and my friends jokingly refer to me as a girl, 'one of the ladies,' or even jokingly hit on me when my back is turned and pretend to be suprised when I look over at them and they act all surprised that its me. It sounds rude, but its all in good fun, these people are like my family. On top of that, I've really gotten into a few bands from Japan and Germany who seem to follow a certain 'glam rock' genre known as visual kei. Basically it is usually bands comprised of all males who are very effeminate looking in general, and their makeup, clothing, and style plays that up. However, unconventionally, they don't just dress like girls, rather, it usually is a unique, punky kind of edge to it, and I found it REALLY matched alot of my style and what I loved, on top of the fact that the music seemed amazing to me.

When I got into these bands, I noticed the uniqueness and individuality of each band and how they kind of just did what they liked. They weren't all gay. They weren't trans. They were just into what they liked. I found that to be refreshing. WIth that, I decided to overcome one of my bigger fears. I know its lame, but I always used to paint my nails all crazy and punklike when I was alone in Highschool. I'd never go out with them of course, because people already thought I was gay. I didn't need that to give them more firepower. I guess some people just never understand that what you wear, how you act, even the company you keep doesn't make you gay or straight. WHere you park your bits at night for pleasure does.

So recently, I painted my fingernails how I wanted to as well. Nothing crazy, just alternating from clear gloss to black. Basically my thumb, middle finger, and pinky are glossed, and the ring and pointer finger are black. I loved it. I thought it looked SOOO cool. I was wearing gloves though when I left the house so mom and dad didnt see. I was mortified what my friends would say. Eventually, I got asked by the first person about it. I froze. However, answering was easy. Almost too easy. I think I just realized finally that this is MY life. I should be free to do with it what I wish in my private life so long as Im not hurting anyone or causing problems. People strangely didnt care. Perhaps its cause they know Im a girl. Perhaps it also helps that they see me as a girl simply because when I act like myself apparently that's how I come off.

So basically, for me so far, even though Im not trying to live as a woman, still answer to my birthname, to 'dude' or 'man,' and even am ok with displaying my ID at bars which is of the MOST ugly and masculine photo Ive ever took simply because I am who I am, and what that is, is my business. I'm kind, funny, and love to make people laugh. I'm easy to get along with usually and I just refuse to let anyone make me feel like because I look 'different' or look like a girl, doesn't change the person I am. I am a woman, but I was born a man. I'm not sure where that fits me in with certain parts of life, but romance and personal peace aside, I'm happy where I'm at. I love my friends, and I'll admit, part of the rebel in me smiles when I know I'm getting looks. Not because I like to shake things up, but because I know at least some of them will go home and think on *why* they find that weird. They will expand on it, and some will even realize that it *is* odd, cause it's different, but that different doesn't always go hand in hand with 'wrong.'

So, so far here's my checklist:

-Long hair, style it religiously and probably pamper it more than 95% of my past relationships.

-I wear paint on my nails at times, usually just clear gloss though because although I'm not crazy about uniform, boring color on my nails, I do like them to look shiny and clean. Gloss achieves that look. Also, most people don't notice so, so far, its been work-safe for me.

-I don't wear male or female clothes exclusively, I just wear what I like and don't care if it came from the guys or gals section.

-Most importantly, and I fail at times still when I feel threatened or nervous, but I am almost always 110% myself. Sure, it gets me WAY more looks and 'gay' or 'fag' comments than simply minding my own 'male' business. However, most people don't mind, and we all know by now that those who do mind don't matter really. This though is tantamount. While many people feel they MUST transition, I personally feel if I do that, Ill just be forced into fitting into another set of rules and roles I don't 110% fit into. Given, I'd be MUCH more successful in a stuffy society as a woman than my current station though. At any rate, I just felt, with all the money, effort, alienation, work problems, etc, that transition to me seemed like maybe a last resort and I hadn't quite hit the bottom and wasn't sure I ever would, that I would ever *need* to transition. So far simply living life as I wish and as it comes has worked fine, and at this point, I'm either seen as a severely androgenous 'emo' guy or, by my friends, they know I'm a girl. The only thing that is different to them is the physical characteristics.

In the end though, I think its a shame we feel we need to stifle ourselves. That its either transition, or we're living a lie. Not everyone can transition. Not everyone *wants* to, even if they are just as female or male as those born that gender. I just truely hope it hasn't gotten so bad that MtFs feel they can't be themselves unless they transition and the same for FtMs. I'm so 'girly' at times even I stop and think 'ewww you're such a priss, you were SUCH a priss just now...' :-P Other times, when I'm stressed, I like go somewhere secluded and scream. and I think 'wow, ok Mr. Alpha Male!'

I think the biggest problem we have is not acceptance of others, or transition, but rather, acceptance of ourselves. Its a process too, no doubt. But I think, personally, I've grown more through this, finding and accepting myself, than any of the other two processes I tried and quit on (faking male and transition.) I think if just every morning, we tell ourselves its ok to be 'us,' we'd all do alot better. I know I am! :)

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Posted

wear panties and low riders every day. when i get home, cami and yoga pants to lounge in.

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Posted

Nice question. I wear panties and shave my legs every day and sometimes wear nylons under my regular clothes. My toenails are always painted. My favorite color is cherry red. I have constant reminders that Dana wants to get out and play. I'm lucky that I can get out as Dana 2 or 3 times a week. Still working on my wife to cooperate more.

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Posted

I wear panties exclusively. No male underwear for me. My toenails are always painted. I wear neutral color lipstick and, on occasion, a bra. I dress 1-3 times a week and wish I could do so more often. I'm happy for what I have, though.

Gennee

:)

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Posted

well, I'm not too much male anymore, I'm a lot more woman nowadays, but anyway, tomorrow at work my new pierced ears and my new earrings may be the hot topic of the day.

LOL

tgirl Bobbie Jo

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Posted

Congrats to you, BobbieJo. Send us a photo of yourself. You sound so happy and content.

Gennee

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Posted

Thank you, yes, I am very happy.

I showed a lady at work my new pierced ears today, and I think the secret is out now.

....she had an amazed look on her face

then you hear her thinking out loud, losing mustache, dieting, nails, eyebrows, and new pierced ears, and then all of a sudden you could see the lightbulb turn on, she said, "oh my god, you're becoming a woman, it all makes sense now".

She asked what my new girl name was going to be, and I said well you could always call me Bobbie

She said well, what about Bobbie Jo?, apparently she has always liked that name.

hey, Bobbie Jo, wow, what a great name. I wish I would have thought of that one. LOL.

DSC_0002.JPG

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Posted

From my profile page -

Actually I integrate women's wear into my daily male wardrobe. ... Today, I find myself wearing more and more women’s style clothing articles on a day-to-day basis. (All of my watches are women’s fitness watches and I wear one every day at work), several of my necklaces, belts and rings are women’s and I wear them with my men’s items. The watches fit me better because I am small boned – note - my wife and I have the same size hands, wrists and I can wear her rings). I have several women’s sport tops and Capri pants that I wear at home or out on evening walks. About once a week I will wear women’s underwear when I am going out. I have my own men’s make-up and I am looking forward to the day men’s skirts become main stream, maybe in the next couple of years. I often wear lingerie around the house and my wife is supportive. She has bought me several outfits that match hers; unisex style women’s wear blouses and pants to wear when we go out.

post-18396-12641134091_thumb.jpg

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Posted

I'm still unemployed so I can't do as much as I want to anymore, but

grew my hair out. Now it's down below my shoulder blades.

Colored my hair. Didn't even try to match my original, pre-gray color! Now it realy IS dark brown.

Touching up my roots, this time with medium brown.

Wear control panties. Don't own men's bottoms anymore, still wearing white T-shirts to bed.

Most wardrobe from Misses department. Very few shirts (all long sleeve) left over. Only 1 pair of dress slacks.

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Posted

I have lived outwardly as a male for many years, I was always worried about what people would thing or say about me if they knew. I hate my 5'oclock shadow and I have sensitive skin so heavy make-up only makes my skin worse. So I often gave up dressing fem because I could not achieve the look I would see on all of those talk shows. I clammed up and turned inward.

All the burying of these feelings has done is brought out all kinds of medical problems in my midlife. What you have to ask yourself, is: What if all of those people you think won't understand you, already notice the feminine characteristics that you might be less aware of in yourself. What if 10 years from now you find this out and you could have had 10 years in the open without people judging you harshly. I am convinced that close friends and family are often bad critics, but very often we may be the worst critics of all. Can we accept who we really are and want to be. Take a chance and go for it. Just please share with us if you need to talk because noone should go through this alone. Use our friendship to your advantage, all of you out there, try to open up and let out all that pent up emotion and years of not being able to express who you are at the very least on this websit. Please upload at least on picture of yourself even if it is fuzzy. It helps so much to put a personality to the writing.

In direct response to your question I would start with the underwear because most of society would agree that you have at least that right to privacy. And if the hair bothers you, like it does me than find all means possible to get rid of it. Then be yourself from within. when you interact with others. If you really get into relating with people in whatever is natural, you may even forget that your in a male body. This has happened to me from time to time; especially when I am on the telephone. (when people can't see how I am dressed.) I constantly catch myself bringing out Amie's full personality.

Thanks for the question...

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Posted

well I have long hair which is in a ponytail mostly when I step out in male drab. I do shave my legs and armpits too every other day. I have painted toenails and wear panties and bra under my male clothing. I am conscious too of my walk using the hips to move rather than shoulders and tend to sit like a lady.I do have pierced ears but dont wear earrings to work. I need to feel fem even when having to act like a guy

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Posted

Just wondering about some of the things others may do to express their femininty even if living as a male most of the time. Especially when appearing as a male.

yea i paint my toenails, and always have at least panties on

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Posted

ive always warn panties of one type or another,

with every thing tucked away, soft firm alter'd fitted bra's and just dress neet smart casual as to be discrete to be dressed fem but as a guy, well im still a dad to children that not yet need to know, distance is swell sometimes

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Posted

Well, I'm i love with Cosmopolitan and I try to read my Cosmo's every day. I lov wearing lingerie when I'm reading Cosmo to.

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Posted

I have had lots of freedom to dress very femme as a male when living in places like Portlnand, OR or Boston both at work and day to day. I now live in rural Wisconsin....this is a big adjustment but do okay by dress full weekend in Madison or Milwaukee. Dressing in small groups . Slip in to femme in mannersKeep yourself ready to be either.

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Posted

I double posted sorry!

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I don't have the choice to live outwardly as a female. I live in a small mountain valley and its pretty backward. A lot of racists and homophobes. I'm originally from Dallas so its not much different. Just more condensed. My biggest fear is the physical danger of coming out to such backward and violent people. For the time being i gave up on keeping shaved and smooth (needless to say i'm using an older pic lol). The only people who ever see me as female are my fiance and best friend

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