Why Do I Crossdress?

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Posted

One of the more common questions crossdressers get asked is why? Why do we want to wear women's clothing. Do we do it for sensual reasons or for comfort? I've had three years to think this over. I don't know why I like to crossdress but I do. I do get a sensual thrill from wearing a skirt and cami but I there is also a feeling of contentment. There is the sense that I am being the person that I really am.

I like people and activities outside the norm. Not many people go out in public wearing clothing of the opposite sex. With me it's the belief that I have defied society's dictate of what a man is suppose to be. There is much gender diversity in the world and I want to explore it. Gender is much more varied and expansive than society realizes or cares to understand.

Crossdressing is so much a part of me. I wear panties all the time and I feel feminine much of the time. I still don't why I would rather wear a skirt but I am happy and content.

Gennee

:D

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Why do I crossdress ? This is a question That I as many have been asked before , there is no easy awnser but the best awnser I can give would be that it is expressive of who I am as a person . I do not do it for any sexual or sensual reason , I do it for me , so that I can feel right in the world.

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When I was young, I am not sure exactly when, I always liked how women looked and acted and I loved the female voice. When a Sears catalogue arrived first chance I got I would take it into the bathroom and go through the whole women's section. I was not interested in the men's section but I did go to the toy section and I did check out both boys and girls items.

I progressed to trying on my mother's party clothes whenever I found myself alone in the house. It resulted in a sexual experience but that was not all it was. It made me feel really good being as close to being female as I could get. I would watch television programs and movies and always wish I was one of the girls or women I was watching. I would often fantasize about being a girl and going out with a boy and after spending the evening with him then having sex with him.

Sometimes I fantasized about being a whore, a prostitute, someone's girlfriend, someone's wife, a mother ... depending on the mood I was in.

I continued dressing and have never stopped although sometimes the span of time between would be long dependant upon how often I was alone in the house for a reasonable amount of time. I would skip school for a day every once in a while so I could be home alone and spend some female time with myself. Eventually I would do the same thing with work, take a day off here and there. In my mind I would tell myself that she needed time to come out and play. When the amount of time between those days began to get too far apart she would begin screaming at me that she wanted to come out. Especially when Spring would come around and girls started wearing skirts and dresses again after the long Winter.

I realize this goes further than 'why I crossdress' but it is all part of it. I should have been born a girl and then it would be 'dressing'.

Bonnie.

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Posted

I am not exactly sure why I first began wearing feminine fashions. There was a strong erotic arousal and I usually experienced more intense orgasms while masturbating, when wearing feminine fashions, until I began taking estrogen and spiroloactone, which have considerably diminished my sexual arousal.

I also felt more comfortable wearing feminine fashions and doing so, since my mid or late twenties, I have felt was being in accord with my true inner self. During my forties and since I often imagined and wished I was a woman, dressed as a woman, having sex as a woman.

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Back when I was a teen I did masturbate while cross dressed one time. This pretty much confirmed for me that it wasn't a fettish, though I was certainly open to the idea. I've just always felt more comfortable being a woman, and rather disgusted with being male. Now I wear women's clothing all the time, but since I identify as female I wouldn't consider that cross dressing.

I do, on rare occasions, go out dressed as a man with fake facial hair and everything. This is mostly because I like to wear costumes and do characters. It also, quite ironically, helps me pass better as a genetic woman in particular social situations.

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Posted

I crossdress because my job requires that I wear a man's uniform. :)

Annie

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Posted

Because it feels so natural.

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I am a 55yr old crossdresser; I crossdress because all my life I felt feminine and now I can live my life as a female. Wearing female clothing and being a girl is all I wanted to be all my life. I finally became the female I always felt that I should have been. I am happy with my life and don't question my life style at all.

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Posted

Well for me, I've always crossdressed for the intense orgasms I get while dressed in thong leotards over pantyhose. I exclusively wear only those items. In private and in public, the orgasms are never dull.

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As a child I would swipe my female friends cloths and dress in private, as a teenager I would take items from the donations boxes around town and dress according to how I had felt since a little ticke I never got any sexual thrill from it I just did it to feel more like me, As a young adult I bought undergarments from the store just to have them close to me I would be at a bit of ease with myself, I have had sexual arousal but I dont get it from the clothing but I get it from the inner thoughts associated with being the woman I have grown to be in my mind.... As of late I mearly take pleasure in knowing that soon I wont have to hide away and be at one with my self and dress I have come to the realization that there are so many types of people and they are all viewed as not the norm...Really I ask Whats the norm who set this standard for outward and inward peace, Who are they to tell me whats right and whats wrong..

Sorry started to have one of my continous writing thoughs...( just how my brain works one thing to another without stopping)...

Again who is to say what you do is wrong, As to this Who is it to say its right......Well my thought is YOU ARE, and only you....

Be you confortable in your skin, But in turn try and not be offencive to public , Dress appropiate to your days calling...No bright pink spandex leatards and a fishnet top with your chest hangin out for all to see....you wouldn't look like that for work or for that fact a date at the local resturant with your closest friends and family.....Now in your home go for it if you feel you need to dont forget the 5 inch stilleto boots...your a sexy entity in your own right....

I know when I go out with my wife I wont embarace her with outlandish makeup and attire, I respect her feminentity, I also respect my need to be myself so a balancing act this must be.....What a tight rope we walk in our daily lives....

We can always find freekish things about others as so can they do with us....live in perfect harmony with your surroundings and you will blend in without notice....

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Posted

As a child I would swipe my female friends cloths and dress in private, as a teenager I would take items from the donations boxes around town and dress according to how I had felt since a little ticke I never got any sexual thrill from it I just did it to feel more like me, As a young adult I bought undergarments from the store just to have them close to me I would be at a bit of ease with myself, I have had sexual arousal but I dont get it from the clothing but I get it from the inner thoughts associated with being the woman I have grown to be in my mind.... As of late I mearly take pleasure in knowing that soon I wont have to hide away and be at one with my self and dress I have come to the realization that there are so many types of people and they are all viewed as not the norm...Really I ask Whats the norm who set this standard for outward and inward peace, Who are they to tell me whats right and whats wrong..

Sorry started to have one of my continous writing thoughs...( just how my brain works one thing to another without stopping)...

Again who is to say what you do is wrong, As to this Who is it to say its right......Well my thought is YOU ARE, and only you....

Be you confortable in your skin, But in turn try and not be offencive to public , Dress appropiate to your days calling...No bright pink spandex leatards and a fishnet top with your chest hangin out for all to see....you wouldn't look like that for work or for that fact a date at the local resturant with your closest friends and family.....Now in your home go for it if you feel you need to dont forget the 5 inch stilleto boots...your a sexy entity in your own right....

I know when I go out with my wife I wont embarace her with outlandish makeup and attire, I respect her feminentity, I also respect my need to be myself so a balancing act this must be.....What a tight rope we walk in our daily lives....

We can always find freekish things about others as so can they do with us....live in perfect harmony with your surroundings and you will blend in without notice....

I dress appropriately because I want to put crossdressers in a positive light. This is my own thought and personal choice.

Gennee

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Posted

I hope no one took me wrong I dont see anything wrong with public displays of who you are I just wanted to remind that there are a few out there that make people cringe and think that we are all that way, So if I affended any one take my appolagy for any misunderstanding... By god we have to make some attempt to be ourselves.....we are not lemmings, we are indivijuals...love to the peeps on this form..... :)

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Posted

Well Steph, sadly, alot of people *do* go out in the sole hopes of getting attention. Now I am not saying these people are somehow less human persay, but I just cannot respect such actions as they are almost *always* deep rooted in deeper, darker issues in regards to neglect in their life's past. Sure, some are just total sociopaths who live for the thrill of peeving off the establishment, but I've met my fair share of crossdressers, and those who are out merely to get attention, tend to usually have deeper seeded issues regarding neglect of such attention during their development. Aside from all that, as long as the clothing is appropriate for your body and the setting in which you're dressing, I'm more or less a live and let live type, even if I personally think it obnoxious (meaning the ones who do it for attention.)

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Posted

I have taken notice to many who just do things that brings us down and them selves as far as that goes, I really dont understand the mentallity in this it would seem to me to be to detrimental to them and also to those of us that are just a bit nervous about stepping out the door somedays...

I know that saying anything to them mearly adds more attention and they often get upset and fly into a fit....no matter how discretely or politely you state your case to them they are still irate...go figure, as you stated I do think its a deeper issue that motavates them...

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Posted

WHY????? That is the BIG question.

I don't know if I have discovered all of the 'whys' in my life, since I still enjoy a Girl's Night Out a couple times a year. But, I did discover one of the reasons why and miraculously the compulsiveness of dressing has dissappeared. You know, the part where something triggers the desire to dress and the more you fight it the more all consuming the desire becomes?? That part is gone.

It took a lot of time and a lot of self-discovery, in order to find it. When I did it was formed when I was 6 and in the language of a 6 yr old. So the logic was in child logic.

The hardest part was believing that something like that could have such a profound effect on the balance of your life. I still marvel at that realization.

I read once in a communication course that if you have unresolved problems with something, you will always maintain communications with it.

I still maintain my Lisa presence here and other forums, so-o-o I guess I have more to learn about myself!!

Each one of us has our own reason, buried in us somewhere, It is not an easy search for it, It is simple, but not easy. All you can do is continue the search until you either accept yourself with all your kinks and quirks or you go about finding out all the 'Whys' in your life.

Huggs to all,

Lisa Elizabeth

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I crossdress due to the way it makes me feel and act when I am dressed. I remeber when I was caught by my mom. Which who hasn't been. When she came home from work. I faked like I was sick so I could dress up. Anyways I was wearing black pantyhose black skirt knee length white blouse black 3in high heels and had make up on. Was in the kitchen when I heard the door open. And heard my mom go upstairs. Was so terrified I didn't know what to do. Next thing I knew she was coming into the kitchen. When she came in she stopped and looked at me for a few seconds turned around and left. I was so freaked that I went up stairs took everything off and washed up and just stayed in my room. Well at 5:00 p.m. my mom got home from work and came up stairs and went into her room. Next I hear a knock on my bedroom door and my mom asked to come in. She came in and sat down she asked why was I wearing her stuff. I didn't say anything, just had my head down. She asked me again except she said why do u crossdress. I looked up at her. She said that is when u wear womens clothing. I said that i do it because I like the way the clothes make me feel. She said I see. She then had me go into her room where on the bed there were some of her things there. Pantyhose, bras, slips, blouses, and some skirts and jackets that go with them, And some high heels and a couple of night gowns. She told me that it was weird to see me in her things but she remebers seeing an episode on phil donahue talk show that showed crossdressing and how some supported it and others didn't. And seen what happens when they do and don't support it. So she figures she might as well as support it. She told me that she would keep the suff in a suit case for me in her room in the closet so know one would find it in my when I would have my friends come over. I said ok and felt very relieved as I was going into my room my mom said hey I will take u shopping this weekend out of town of course and get u some more femine stuff that is a little more ur size ok. I was so excited and said alright. She then said aren't u forgetting something and set the suit case on the floor. I turned around and grabbed the suit case and went into my room and tried on my new wardrobe for the rest of the evening. :D

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Why do I cross-dress? I believe there are various reasons.

First, I am turned on by it and in this way it makes me feel alive. The taboos that go with dressing as a woman and doing it successfully are definitely things I think of. When I go out I actually sense a fear reaction. Some concern that I will be found out or be discovered. So for me cross-dressing is a bit of an adventure. One example is when I go jogging as a girl. Getting ready to go is the biggest challenge. I actually have studied women and what they wear running. I do not want to look like a hooker when I run just a pretty young athletic girl. Once the dressing up is over and I finally get outside I actually feel relieved. In my mind I think I am a woman out running. Then I settle down. In a way cross-dressing is proof that I can and do look and to some extent feel like I am a woman. It is crazy but it charges or renews me. I also feel more powerful because I think I can choose what I look like and to some degree what people think of me.

Secondly, I am actually somewhat genetically predisposed to look like a woman. As I mentioned in a few of my other posts I have dozens of female body traits. Mostly focused on my bone structure. Because of this I know many people have stared at me trying to determine my gender, even when I wear men’s clothing

Finally, I think if it were commonplace for men to wear dresses and make-up then maybe the whole issue of cross dressing would be a mute point. I love colors and to be pampered and to be stylish, to have my hair long and to be sexy. When I shop I am drawn to the women’s section because that is where the clothing that fits these aspects of my desire are.

ADDITIONAL RESPONSE FROM MY PROFILE PAGE - So why do I do all of this – trying to look like a woman. I think some of it is because I have some feminine characteristics that I cannot change. The other is to express myself for who I really am. I actually feel free when I look like a woman. So, I definitely understand all those on this site and their need to express themselves and those who need to change themselves. If there weren’t so many boxes we are put in by gender typing then I think the world would be a lot better for all of us.smile.gif

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The label of cross dressing is given by those who see us as dressing out of the stereotype. For example: Even though I am content in all that I wear that is feminine, I am considered a cross dressor by my wife and others who know my issues like the pastor and therapist. However I do not see myself as a cross-dressor.

The feeling to cross-dress was always there, for as long as I can remember. Everything feminine was Ok with me. I simply and naturally like everything about being a woman. However Television ads in the seventies helped to solidify the unhealthy expectations that I learned about what a beautiful woman should look like.

In the early days when I bought into all of the nonsense from an ignorant society I felt like and for a while probobly was more of a transvestite (TV), I felt shame and everything else that comes with it. Coming to an understanding of being transgendered later in life helped to explained to me why I had the earlier feelings.

I dress in womens clothes because in mind and soul I am a woman. For me cross dressing is being forced to wear male clothes for any event as it makes me uncomfortable. Not being allowed to dress as I truly desired caused me severe depression and anxiety. The forbidden fruit suddenly became even more desired, because at least I could have an occasional thrill if I could never be normal. This still is an excuse for me to escape from eveything to my bedroom because society just does not get it. Most of us fit into some kind of middle ground and society doesn't know what to do with us. So I accepted something less to replace better and more important that society would never let me have. This feeling of disconnect between my mind and my body also caused other medical feeling of depression as well later in life.

I think most people would agree that even if you desired to wear womens clothes out of curiousity and then someone actually said that you have to dress up as a woman for a halloween event you may actually feel nervous and uncomfortable about it. That discomfort might indicate that you are probobly a true CD cross dressor in private and enjoying it and dressing in public is limiting because you are limited in how you act out sexually in public, however deviantly sexual it may be(fetish.) and it also feels like suddenly all eyes are on you and you don't want anybody to know you actually do this kind of thing regularly. It seems that the transvestite that would enter sites like this truly want to be anonymous because they know it would be embarassing for anyone to call them out on their preferred method of gratification. But to be transgender means your whole life is wrong, you don't fit in 99% of the time.

By the way, if you are a transvestite which is the more appropriate term in this case, that can still be a healthy outlet of expression. but most would think of this as something you do keep private other than the hollywood film Rocky Horror Picture Show which takes this whole topic to another bizarre level. In the example I stated, if you do not feel discomfort but actually feel fulfilled at the halloween event and complete (not just having a good time) you would feel much like me, finally a complete person.

I don't fit in well dressed at a halloween party because I really go all out and try to be the real thing. Most guys would just throw the stuff on with a little effort because they either didn't feel anything at all (just a costume party) or wouldn't want anyone to know they were actually sexually gratified by it if they are a TV.

Finally, about body appearance and the person I am on the inside. The more I can look like a woman, the better I feel like the person I was born to be. I say this to try to help cross dressors who are actually transgender. Where cross dressing occasionally can be fun and sexually gratifying for the cross dressor, this will never be enough for a transgendered person because we are being asked to be our real selves in the closet for a few hours a day and suddenly put it all away to be someone less than ourselves in the real world.

I hope this helps put some new thoughts on an older post.

Amie.

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Myself, I don't consider it crossdressing, more like wearing the clothes that the real me wears. In public or private, it matters not, I can't not be who I am. I know I don't do it for attention, but for the woman in me.

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It makes me feel beautiful and sexual. For me it gives me a very romantic/erotic feeling and it is a way i express who I am as Jamie. I also enjoy the attention as well from those who like how I look.

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Myself, I don't consider it crossdressing, more like wearing the clothes that the real me wears. In public or private, it matters not, I can't not be who I am. I know I don't do it for attention, but for the woman in me.

I like your analogy, Terri.

Gennee

:)

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I suppose it is the way our brains are wired or maybe something in our genes. Like most of us in here we all have something in common and I find it completely natural now and find being in male mode more uncomfortable. Many start out by finding it a sexual release or fetish but as we develop it becomes more of who we are.

Crossdressing is more than just wearing all those lovely fashions. The shoes makeup and clothes allows a girl many ways to express herself. I love being out in public now as debbie and relate to people so much better. The whole world is in a different color and landscape. I find myself crying at romantic movies and books and enjoy the simple things in life that men overlook. Not that I just don womens clothes now but my apartment is also filled with flowers and lacy fabrics. I also relate to men better than ever.

I started at 15 but got really into it in early 20s when living alone and met Karen a fulltime ts. She helped mentor me in all things better than any gg could. I gave up asking the questions why and just enjoy what I have and live both genders but adore my fem side. Life is richer and happier.Forget about purging girls this is who we are. Hope this is some help. hugs debbie aka prettinpink

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I have posted before on this but I feel I must post again , simply out of personal growth maybe , I find myself envious of the numerous fashions on the racks and often times pick clothing out for my wife that I would much rather be wearing then her , not to say she doesn't love what I pick out because she does its just that I really want them for me ( giggle's) I find myself telling her what pretty things have you picked up for me and to my dismay nothing (LOL) but yet knowing that I still cant pull them off I dont even get them for myself , ( Frowns a bit ) I know I cant wear what I want and I wont because of my constant battle with my weight I dont care no matter what I do it just wont go away , fine I get it I cant ware the size eight stuff but I wont get the size twenty stuff either I wont do it I feel just as fem in my everyday cloths any way so who cares ..... I do really , deep down I care ... some times we just do have to let our full woman out in all the splendor she emits (LOL) and I do mean full .....

I suppose the cloths do help us feel better about who we are but I know that its not the cloths that make you female it's the female that makes the cloths , I need to make some cloths ....LOL

you ladies are amazing I will end on that ...

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While I generally do not like labels, I am not overly offended by some often used to describe those of us who are "transgendered." Females who wear "masculine" clothing are very seldom, if ever, though considered to be "crossdressers," so why should males who occasionally, often or always wear "feminine" fashions be "crossdressers?"

Pants are no longer considered exclusively "masculine" as they were in the culture of this country. Yet wearing a dress or skirt is still generally regarded as exclusively "feminine," for females only. I object to the hypocrisy and lack of consistency in what some deem appropriate gender fashions for males. Females since the 1960's have been free to wear whatever clothing in public they desire. Why should not males have the same freedom?

When I was younger there was a very strong erotic desire, arousal and fulfillment from wearing sexy, feminine fashions. As I have become older and my sex drive has overall diminished, this occurs significantly less often.

I enjoy often wearing feminine fashions because I have long felt more comfortable wearing them than masculine clothing. Like many women, I enjoy wearing pretty, feminine fashions. I enjoy the feel of a dress or skirt on my body. Pretty, feminine colors and lace aesthetically appeal to me. Since my thirties, when wearing feminine fashions I feel more in accord with my strong inner feminine self or in more recent years, my true gender identity.

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;) I don't know how far I would have gotten n2 cding if it wasn't 4 my sister. When i was younger she caught me digging in our mom's pantyhose drawer as she was going n2 swipe a pr. 4 herself. I was freaked as she caught me digging but, she didn't say anything. Later that night she asked me what I was doing and the questions came out of the why, how come, when did this all start. After we talked it was all good between us. Fast forward about 3yrs. I ended up swiping a few pantyhose from my teacher and told my sis about it. Well she dared me 2 wear them 2 school. At the time I never wore any fem things 2 school. So i picked out a beige pair. And my sis being my sis said oh here and gave me a pr of her panties 2 wear with the pantyhose. Now mind you i never wore panties just the pantyhose so wearing them underneith was a nice excitement. Well after i got my panties and pantyhose on i put my jeans and shirt and sweater on and no socks was the other agreement. Oh i was so nervous but my sis said here i will take some of the edge off and she wore pantyhose jeans and heels to school also. And my mom as well as she always wore pantyhose as her job required it i think. Secretary. So yeah job requirement. :D Well school went good but I was always nervous some 1 was going 2 see my nyloned ankle but no 1 ever did. Except the teacher i swiped the hose from.. But that is another story. Don't want 2 get off track here. lol After I got home my sis was there and she asked how my day went and I told her and about the teacher who's hose I swiped she couldn't believe it. After which she said well you win the bet as now I didn't have 2 do chores for about 2 1/2 months. But i didn't hold my sis to it as I didn't want my mom finding out why she was doing my chores.. But after that up until my sis went off 2 college as i was in jr. high and she was in high school. She would have me dress up in her clothes more and more 2 where soon I was basically cding. With my sis in a non sexual way tho. But I guess I cd because I luve the way I feel when i am dressed all enfem & because I have and had a good support growing up n the house. Plus as sum would love to say "my sister made me do it".

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