Why Do I Crossdress?

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Posted

At the moment, it's purely sexual for me. I guess that makes it a fetish. I love dressing up and then going on cam for guys. C2C is very hot when I'm in my undies/dresses/etc.

Just my 2p.

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Posted

Something in me just feels more relaxed when I wear girls clothes. It makes me feel calm, like my whole body is letting out a breathe its been holding for a long time.

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Lenore , I know the feeling . That was now years ago. That was in shall we say , "My questioning period ". In 1968 when I first saw the Christene Jorgensen story movie at the former Colonial Theater on Broad street, I slowly realized a clothing wardrobe adjustment would never be enough to take my "Rage " away. I met her within an interview at Virginia Commonwealth University. It was there , I decided to go down my current path, a transwoman ....................

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I am beginning to grow a 24 / 7 fetish to wear my silicon boobs while sleeping & going to work. I just disguise them while at work. Its a growing infestation, its taking over my male self. I keep resorting to male activities or cross check to who I am really, its just overtaking, I never want to have a gender change but remain a fetish. But I do realize how far I have come versus where would I have been if it wasn't for crossdressing! More to answer why do I CDS (short for crossdressing) to be popular in online dating, famous one day, be a leader to others to follow suit, to spend less on strip clubs and nude bars, to save money on other activities, to over come a difficult stage in life, to use public transport while getting sick of riding in it. And the most best reason I can think of from above all else, is to go to a classic mall and do the cat walk with my best outfits and get super attention! Yeah!

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In my case, I cross-dress because I must to continue to earn a living and provide for my wife.l Retirement, although I 61, is not something I consider viable; probably death will come before. I am a Transexual Woman, so dressing and presenting as a male is my definition of cross-dressing; and no, although while young, this aroused me a bit, it certaily no longer does.

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Posted

Why do I cross dress? Now there's a question.

I'm always a bit wary of "why?" as a question because it can be made to imply that something needs an explanation and,of course, cross dressing does NOT need an explanation. No more than left handedness does. I don't think that is what is meant here, though. I take it to mean "what is going on for you when you cross dress?" What is going on for me is that it feels good and it feels right.

I suspect that what I'm about to say is different from many cross dressers but I'm only saying how it is for me. I mean no criticism of how it is for anybody else. There is no objective "should" about cross dressing. Each one of follows our own way.

I am biologically male with a male identity in which I live most of my life. This male identity is not conventionally masculine but it is definitely male. Over the years I have come to acknowledge that I also have a female identity and I now see myself as gender fluid, androgyne or bi-gender. I also have a sense of being outside binary gender as well.

In gender politics wording you could say that my biological sex is definitely male, my gender identity is gender fluid and my gender performance is usually male but sometimes female.

This is where the difference between gender identity and gender performance is crucial. My identity holds both male and female simultaneously. My performance, though, is either male (most of the time) or female (some of the time) and the female performance brings about a transformation in how I feel both in body and mind. For me, cross dressing is not so much about how it looks (from the outside looking in) but about how it feels (from the inside looking out).

Dressing in women's clothes brings out the woman in me. Or should I say that the woman in me sometimes demands to be dressed "as a woman" (whatever that means!). When I cross dress it does not feel like the man putting on women's clothes. Rather, it is the woman asserting herself. That begs the question - is she actually "cross dressing?"

(As an aside - occasionally I cross dress as a man. I am a man dressed in women's clothes and this is then sexually arousing to me as a man. That is very much the minority occasion).

The "asserting herself" is important. My female identity is assertive and dresses to express that. Usually in black with an edge of dominance - black tights and/or boots, black leather/pvc skirt, short hair. Sometimes a tight figure hugging dress.

I make no attempt to "pass". Maybe this is why I only cross dress in private. I could never be mistaken for being biologically female but that isn't the point. Dressing this way (and giving myself "breasts") alters the way I perceive myself. It alters how I feel about my body. It alters how I move.It gives the woman a physical reality, from the inside looking out. That, for me, is the point.

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Posted

I haven`t a clue, I wanted to wear dresses and female separates since I was about 5 and thet never changed.. I`ve never had fantasies about being with a guy when dressed , (I`m into women only) and I`m not a transsexual , (happy with my furry bits) though for a long time I`ve wished I lived in a country where I could live as a lesbian ladyBoy after extensive electrolysis & breast implants of course .

If a law was passed which only one gender of clothing was allowed to be worn and there was no public stigma regarding choice (we have to live in society), I`d choose female without hesitation even if Jeans & other kinds of pants were classed in the male section ..

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Posted

Hi BenVerona,

You asked me in "Member Introductions - Introducing myself" why I "Like This" on your post above. It is because you are a lot like me. If I had to classify myself then I call myself a "crossdresser" but I know that is not true in itself it is just easier to explain to others. Because of my life situation I do not plan to take hormones or have any surgeries so on the outside I am a crossdresser when I wear women's clothes. The reality of it is that I am a transsexual but not like many others, or maybe like many others, because when I am male there is nothing that tells others I am anything but male. I began my journey when I was 11 or 12, puberty, before then I really don't know. It doesn't matter now anyway. My journey has been long and very secretive. If I could have become a girl way back then I would have in an instant. I prayed many nights that I would wake up in the morning and be a girl. I had three younger brothers and so I had to be their protector and role model. I was good at sports so I had a male image to protect. The girl inside me begged to come out though. As I got older, learned more about the world around me and had more alone time Bonnie would come out to play. The more I let her out the more she didn't want to go back. It was a stressful struggle since I had gotten married and had children. My male self was happy being married and being a father and I didn't have much alone time. The kids got older and I got more alone time the older they got. A situation I won't get into came up and Bonnie got to come out more often. I am semi-retired now and am living on my own so that both my male and female selves can live, a strong tough male self and a sexy fun female self.

So I wanted to say that I understand what you are saying in your post. The clothes are dependant on who is wearing them mentally speaking. My male self likes jeans and dark t-shirts and my female self likes skirts and dresses and blouses and much more :)

Bonnie

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Posted (edited)

at a very young age I'd be over a friends house and I would sneak in his sister's bedroom grab any thing I could wearwhenevers like that all my life I have only had 1 male friend that I understood enjoyed watching all dressed up and 1 female friend everything wig makeup nails lingerie shoes everything I try to dress a couple times a week it makes me feel complete happy sensual and I do feel that I am mentally a shemale I am attracted 2 men clean no hair don't have to be buff nice body... I wish I would have done this when I was 18 get the transformation she was she male

Edited by UsernameOptional

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Posted

Thanks for your reply, Bonnie. I like your development of the point that "the clothes are dependant on who is wearing them, mentally speaking".

My everyday male self dresses to be physically anonymous. Although I am able, in most situations, to be quite "present" and assertive mentally, I do not feel, and have never felt, very "male" or "masculine". I am small (5'6") and very slightly built, for a man. I also have a genetic condition which is mildly and progressively disfiguring. I would not feel authentic dressing in a male/masculine assertive manner. In fact, in many ways, my everyday male self would prefer to be bodily invisible!

My female self is quite different. She is multi facetted and dresses according to which aspect is upfront. However, she is still stuck with the same actual rather scrawny male body so she doesn't go out in public. She couldn't "pass" in public but she doesn't want to go public as a cross dressed man. (I hasten to add that there is nothing wrong with being a cross dressed man). So she dresses as herself in private and the act of dressing is both a consequence of herself "coming out to play" but it also plays a part in making the transformation real.

One facet is dominant, assertive both mentally and physically and likes to dress to express that inner self. I like to wear black, occasionally offset by a single flash of colour. It has to be jet black, what I call "bright black". Not a washed out tired black. It's black tights and boots (occasionally fishnet tights) with either a tight fitting top and pvc/leather skirt or a figure hugging dress.

Another facet enjoys very loose swirly thin cotton dresses that caress my body as I move. They are very sensuous. and are predominently white or pale coloured. In both aspects I am dressing mainly for the feel but also to be "seen" (in my mind) by women not men.

That, of course, begs the question of my sexual orientation. As a man I am wholly heterosexual. As a woman I am still attracted to women and want to be attractive to women. What does that make my orientation as a woman? Instinctively I feel "lesbian" but I imagine that some biologically female women might find that identity hard to accept.

As I've said before, cross dressing as a gender fluid person is a complex set of constantly changing identities.

BenV

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Posted

I personally enjoy crossdressing because it gives me a sensual feeling of freedom and stress relief. I face a lot of daily stress in my life. I suppose that it is another form of escapism for me.

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Posted

I love having the opportunity to write about this for a couple of reasons. First is that I've often wondered myself. And second, I recently brought this all up with my wife (again) and she asked: what's the big deal? It's just clothing, right? Answer: no.

Like others have written here and there, I too started at a very early age wishing I either was a girl or could wake up as one. It wasn't about the clothes but of course visually that's what I saw identified girls as girls. For me, being a girl just looked a lot more warm, cozy, and natural, and that's what I wanted. And when I could sneak out something of my mother's to wear, that's how I felt.

As I matured it definitely blossomed into an erotic fascination/attraction. Many nights fantasizing, reading magazines like Variations (which I preferred much more than the photographic mags), and books. But as I aged the erotic aspects diminished (not eliminated). And recently when my wife was traveling I realized I had the opportunity to order whatever I might want without risking her discovery of an unexpected delivery. And I couldn't find much of anything that I really want since what I'd really like is a full head-to-toe outfit, but that would be costly, and I don't want to be bothered with hiding it all later.

But overall, for me, wearing even "minor" clothes such as underwear allow me to go to a special place that I cannot reach otherwise. And I've wondered, might girls/women feel this same way, but in reverse (FTM)? I suspect that they do. Why not? For them, they're fortunate that the range of clothing they are socially permitted to wear is much much more broad than men's. We're all well aware of this of course.

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I can remember when I was little clothing shopping with Mom, going through the racks of clothing looking for something shiny, something satin or leather. I couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old. My goal was to find that item that made me happy, then pull it off the rack and try it on below all the hanging clothes.

Sometimes I would have several items to play with, no one could see me under the racks of clothes in the store, I'm sure my Mom knew what i was up to but heck, I was quiet and she could shop without me bugging her.

I guess that set the stage for my love of all things shiny or leather.

Visiting relatives, I always played with the girls as there were't many boys, I can remember them dressing me up and playing house. And of corse I would try on whatever I could get, I remember this one pink shiny nylon jacket I really liked, I wore that thing allot.

I guess someting in my brain was fixed on leather when one day I saw these plastic pants at the clothing store, they were brown and I begged Mom to get them for me, of course they were Girls, she got them for me anyway. I wore those pants 24/7 until they wore out.

Since then, it has been one long quest to be a Woman dressed in leather/PVC/Vinyl. I STILL get super excited when I see some new clothing style..... out comes the cash to get it......sighs....

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Posted

I crossdress because I find my more like lady than male

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Posted

There are many reasons why you cross-dress. But the main reason is that you might be transgendered (Trapped in the wrong body.). Maybe this article that I wrote several years ago might answer some of your questions.

I brought this up to be read and commented on. I'll answer any questions that you my have about

What Trans Sexuality Is:

Definition, Cause, and History

By

Dr. Oweena Scott PhD

Transsexual

Copy write 1983

INTRODUCTION: my skin before

Trans sexuality, also termed 'Gender Dyspepsia' is now reaching the point of being reasonably well understood, though many myths and general foolishness about the subject still abound. This document concerns the classic definition of Tran sexuality, as defined by Benjamin, Money, Green, and so forth. Inter sexuality and transgender-ism will not be addressed other than obliquely.

IN A NUTSHELL: This is about standard, classical Tran sexuality.

SUMMARY DEFINITION:

Gender Dyspepsia, literally a misery with regard to gender, is the condition of being in a state of conflict between gender and physical sex.

A transsexual is a person in which the sex-related structures of the brain that define gender identity are [2]

exactly opposite the physical sex organs of the body.

Put even more simply, a transsexual is a mind that is literally, physically, trapped in a body of the opposite sex.

IN A NUTSHELL: Tran sexuality means having the wrong body for the gender one really is.

GRAND OVERVIEW:

Gender and Sex are very separate things, though the terms are often considered interchangeable by the less aware. Sex is physical form and function while Gender is a component of identity. There can be considered to be some legitimate overlap in that the brain is structured in many sex-differentiated ways, and the brain is the seat of identity. However, with regard to the dilemma of the transsexual, the difference between sex and gender are at the very core of the issue.

A transsexual person, born to all appearance within a given physical sex, is aware of being of a gender opposite to that physical sex. This conflict, between gender identity and physical sex, is almost always manifesting from earliest awareness, and is the cause of enormous suffering. It is common for transsexuals to be aware of their condition at preschool ages.

This agony can and does lead to self destruction unless treated. The incredible difficulties that surround achieving

treatment are themselves often agonizing, the sum total of which can play havoc with the lives of the gender Dyspepsia. Indeed, it is apparent that some fifty percent of transsexuals die by age 30, usually by their own hand. This morbidity is known as the

50% Rule

Being a transsexual is not something that can be ignored or suppressed forever. Unlike the fascinations of the cross dresser or the partially altered trans genderist, the absolute compulsion of classical trans transsexualism is a matter of life and death. Social oppression, culturally indoctrinated shame, self loathing, and bigotry slaughter transsexuals. With treatment and support, come survival and a successful life. The success rate for the treatment of transsexuals is among the highest in medicine.

Tran sexuality occurs roughly equally in both physical males and physical females, and is caused by factors (such as a critically timed hormonal release caused by stress in the mother, or by the presence of hormone mimicking chemicals present during critical development) which interfere with fetal development. Tran sexuality occurs independently of sexual orientation, and occurs in humans and in other animals, such as apes, monkeys, dogs, cats, rats, and mice, among those studied.

The standard treatment for a diagnosis of Tran sexuality is to reassign the transsexual to a physical sex congruent with their gender identity, a process involving the administration of

appropriate hormones and surgery. The success of this treatment is exceedingly high, and many transsexuals go on to live successful lives.

Although Tran sexuality is not the same thing as homosexuality, the two can sometimes occur in conjunction with each other, and there is evidence that both are created by the similar mechanisms, in uterus.

Tran sexuality differs greatly from the commonly - and erroneously - associated terms "Cross-dressing" or "Transvestism", as well as "Transgenderism".

Whereas Tran sexuality is concerned primarily with gender identity and the correction of physical form to fit that identity, transvestism is primarily a sexual fetish that occurs after puberty, and the transvestite has no desperation to redress a physical incongruity. The transvestite gains satisfaction from appearing as the opposite sex only, and the behavior is apparently not rooted in a biological, per-natal basis, but is learned. Transvestism, unlike Tran sexuality, primarily is the activity of males.

A recent term in usage is "Transgenderism", essentially an empty word conjured up as a neutral label for any individual not conforming to common social rules of gender expression. The term was created to help unite very disparate individuals under a vague commonality of interest in gender, in order to provide a basis for mutual benefit and support within an often violently antagonistic society.

Transgender-ism can refer to those who cross-dress, those who are inter sexed, those who live in the opposite societal role of their physical sex, and those who play with gender expression for any purpose whatsoever, and transsexuals as well. While there is potentially great survival benefit in this mutual association labeled as 'transgender-ism', the primary function is social and political, and not clinical, despite the efforts of some to legitimize this essentially meaningless term.

The exact number of transsexuals in any given population will probably never be accurately known (the best current estimate is one per 30,000). Because Tran sexuality is most commonly caused by stress-related hormonal changes in the womb, the number of transsexuals in any society would logically flux, based on the current state of affairs within a generation. There is evidence that more transsexuals are born during times during or following war, for instance. Even so, the condition is fairly rare.

Several interesting physical and mental indications have been statistically shown to occur in relation to Tran sexuality. One factor is intelligence, the transsexual is on average two standard deviations in intellect greater than the base population, and one standard deviation higher than those defined as homosexual. This probability of high intelligence is currently not explained, though there are suggestions that it may be the result of the unique and somewhat mixed brain 'wiring' of the transsexual, who may benefit from a combination of male and female structures or functions.

Another curious correlation is creativity, transsexuals tend to possess a high degree of artistic and general creative ability.

Transsexuals commonly show some physical indications of their condition that may cause trouble for them from parents or peers.

The male-to-female transsexual may be slow to develop male sex characteristics such as body hair, voice change, and overall physical development compared to the general population. The Female-to-Male Transsexual may display evidence of Masculinity of bone structure, hair, or voice. These traits are generally very subtle, but often present.

There is tremendous social bigotry -and often outright violence- expressed towards the transsexual, and this often makes the life of the transsexual very difficult. Some transsexuals who have completely successful in transition to the appropriate sex therefore choose varying degrees of secrecy about their state and history. Other transsexuals never succeed in transforming physically to the point of being undetectable as transsexuals, and tend to suffer accordingly.

Transsexuals suffer many hurdles to achieve their required correction of the error of their birth. They must face society, the medical establishment, the common loss of all family and friends, the cost of treatment, the extreme difficulty of the required 'half-way' phase of transition which may last up to two years, and the inner turmoil of self-doubt and conditioned self loathing of their condition. It has been

estimated (in 1981) that about 50% do not survive the malady, ending up dead by the age of 30, usually by their own hand. Almost all of this morbidity is attributed to the additional burden caused by the violent unacceptability of society, the rejection of family and friends, and the inability to find decent care.

The drive that motivates the transsexual is essentially a matter of life and

death.

IN A NUTSHELL: Transsexuals suffer because they are trapped in a body of the wrong sex. This hurts so much that they are driven to fix that problem, or die trying. Tran sexuality begins in the womb and occurs in many animals besides man. Tran sexuality and homosexuality seem to share a common prenatal causality, but is not the same thing. Tran sexuality is sometimes associated with things it is not really related to, such as cross dressing, for social or political reasons.

The Natural History Of Tran sexuality:

Since Tran sexuality is caused by hormonal alteration of the nervous system of developing fetuses, and occurs in perhaps all mammalian species, it would be reasonable to infer that it has been around for a very long time. Indeed, since birth defects in general are just part of nature, it would be unthinkable to imagine an era of Man devoid of transsexuals. We have always been, and from time to time, history has recorded that fact. [8]

The only clues we have of Paleolithic transsexuals would be by considering the societies of aboriginal peoples still living with Stone Age technologies. The few left remaining on the earth, in the rain forests of South America, or the remaining unspoiled lands of Africa, all have reverential positions for the transsexuals that are born to them. In such societies, Transsexuals are considered magical, kin to the gods or spirits, and possessed of shamanism powers.

Every society in history has had some name, role or way of relating to the transsexual, from ancient Canaan and Turkey to India, even to the present day.

Examples abound. For instance, in ancient Rome existed the 'Gallae', Phrygian worshipers of the Goddess Cybele. Once decided on their choice of gender and religion, physically male Galleria ran through the streets and threw their own severed genitalia into open doorways, as a ritualistic act.

The household receiving these remains considered them a great blessing. In return, the household would nurse the Galleria back to health. The Galleria then ceremoniously received female clothes, and assumed a female identity. Commonly, they would be dressed as brides, or in other splendid clothing.

In India, ritual practices for transsexual individuals continue to the present day. Called Hegira, these sects also worship a Goddess, and undergo a primitive sort of sex reassignment surgery. The Hegira are treated in a rather hypocritical fashion within Indian society however, in that they are both

despised and revered at the same time. Hijras often are paid to attend a bless weddings, and to act as spiritual and social advisers, but are also shunned as less than worthy eunuchs. Yet in other circumstances, such as social situations, they are accorded the status of true females.

The Dine, or Navajos of the southwest United States, recognizes three sexes instead of only two. For the Dine, there are Males, Females, and Nadles, which are considered somewhat both and neither. While those born inter sexed or hermaphroditic are automatically considered Nadle, physically 'normal' individuals may define as Hegira based on their own self-definition of gender identity. The Hegira once possessed far greater respect before the Navaho were conquered and their culture all but obliterated by the forced assumption of Catholicism.

Among the Sioux, the Winkte and Berdache served much the same function, and individuals could assume the complete role of their preferred gender. Physical females lived as male warriors, and had wives, while physical males lived their lives completely as women and were sometimes wives of the female warriors. In Sioux society no special magic was associated with this, it was just considered a way of correcting a mistake of nature. Winkte would also perform primitive reassignment operations of a sort, and history records the process used by physical males: riding for days on a special hard saddle to crush the testicles and thus effectively castrate the individual. In some American Indian cultures Berdache were raised to be Shaman and thought of as being sent from the spirits. Some tribes shunned them and they were either cast off to fend for them selves or sold as slaves to other tribes.

Being transsexual in ancient cultures took a special form of courage too, even if society may have been embracing of the Tran sexed!

Whether it is the Sererr of the Pokots of Kenya, the Xaniths of Islamic Oman, the Mahu of Tahiti, or even the Sekrata of Madagascar, the story is essentially the same: Tran sexuality was a fact of life, and a place in society was made for the gender Dyspepsia to be themselves.

The modern classification of Tran sexuality and the medical intervention of sex reassignment was first attempted in Germany in 1930. Einar Wagener sought treatment and was operated upon. After-wards, she lived as Lily Elbe, but alas not for long...the surgery had tragic complications. The first well known, surviving post operative transsexual was American ex-G.I. George Jorgensen, who became Christine Jorgensen in 1953. Christine became the center of a whirlwind of publicity despite an effort to avoid it, and had little choice but to capitalize on the misfortune. Christine became the first 'Media Transsexual' - or as some transsexuals put it 'Transie Martyr' , and suffered both the benefit and curse of fame. Christine starred in several Hollywood movies as a result, and became celebrity enough to bring transsexualism out of the closet and into view of post-industrial society.

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For decades only the rare individual physician dared treat the

transsexual, while the mainstream medical community considered Tran sexuality to be a mere mental disorder without a biological basis. The first professional to truly try to help transsexuals with compassion and scientific study was Dr. Harry Benjamin. Dr. Benjamin carefully treated and studied the cases of transsexuals, essentially devoting most of his career to the project. The results of his carefully documented studies were published in 1966 in his book "The Transsexual Phenomenon". This work led directly to the benefits that we modern transsexuals enjoy, for it opened the door to serious study of the condition. Currently, the worldwide Harry Benjamin International Gender Dyspepsia Association continues his work, and helps to set standards of care for the treatment of transsexuals by the medical establishment.

Recent study of brain functioning has shed important light on the causes of Tran sexuality, and surgical techniques as well as overall treatment continue to improve. Society is slowly becoming accepting once again of the inevitable transsexual in it's midst, and it may well be that the future will hold even greater help for the transsexuals born into future ages. I broughtC

C

Copy write Oct 1982

Cop

Copy write Oct 1982

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My name is Dr. Oweena Scott PHD Clinical Psychologist and Sex Therapist. I am also Trans Gendered. I offer my services to any one at this web site FREE OF CHARGE that asks for my help.

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I have cross-dressed ever since I was about 13 years old, sneaking my sister clothes on hen she was out. I had always wanted to be a girl for as long s I can remember. While I was married for 10 years, I would put on my wife's clothes when she was out. After I divorced (not relating to my cross-dressing) I bought a full women's wardrobe. I went out dressed, to TG friendly nightclubs for a time. Now, I stay at home mostly, and am dressed as a woman all the time except when I am at work. It makes me feel calm and natural, when I am dressed as a woman. I used to think it was a sexual thrill that made me cross-dress, but now I understand it is because it feels natural and right.

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dont really know why i started dressing other than when i was 11 having put ona pair of my mams tights getting rather excited about doing so ever since now in my very very late 20,s i dress full time and very very happy so i cant change history but if i could i wish i was born a girl

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do you know i must add this to my earlier post on this subject when i was driving taxis i could often find some people asking secificly for me as they felt safe and i could dress whilst doing so but that boss then though saying he respected me sacked me for dressing up however my point is now i work in a factory and dress in a top panties tights then leggings on top all is well my bosses now dont bat an eyelid and everone is so comfertable working with me its great thoiugh not the best job but at least i would say best company

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For me, cross dressing began as a way of expressing my strong desire to be a girl. As a teenager, when alone, I would try on my mother's skirts and tops and enjoyed feeling like the girl I always wanted to be. These feelings always stayed with me, and now, I cross dress for the enjoyment of feeling like the woman I am inside.

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I have been asked this question once or twice...

I suspect we have all asked ourselves this question more than once.

For me it has to do with the fact that I feel more 'myself' dressed and that this creates a sense of well being.

Sure the clothes themselves may be less physically comfortable than men's clothes (or not, depending on what you are wearing, your body shape etc) but the positive emotional response creates a physical sense of well being.

I have written in more detail here https://daniellaargento.wordpress.co...-imponderable/ if you want to get a better sense of my thoughts.

Why do YOU crossdress?

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I've asked myself this and also been asked by my wife. I agree as well that some of the feminine clothing isn't as comfortable such as shoes, and wearing a bra is certainly something to get used to.

For me, I think the biggest feeling I get is affirmation. It just feels right, resulting in my feeling good and wanting to do it more. My wife doesn't want to see me dressed this way so I must remove everything when she's around, and I do it with a little reluctance.

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For me at a VERY young age , it was because in my head , I was a Girl. As I aged , the desires NEVER went away, I was a Teenage woman . As I aged , I saw myself as a Woman, nothing more . Now , I'm old and guess what , I'm an older woman who has at least gotten on HRT .

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I just got the inclination one day at home alone to try on my sisters clothes. I did enjoy the sensation and was a bit sexual at first but as time progressed I began to feel the emotional support of being debbie was who I was most comfy with. I am now pretty out and dressed in evenings and weekends. Only time I am in male mode is during work and that is a drag. I enjoy both sides of me but my feminine side is so much more desireable  and the friends I have allow me to live it out.

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How fun and interesting it is to read everyone's memoirs here including my own. Crossdressing is, for me, such a warm and cozy feeling. Even the simplest and most innocuous clothes, as long as they are a woman's, just feel affirming, they feel right and good.

Emma

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