8 replies to this topic

[amie]

ABOUT BEING TRANSGENDER IN PUBLIC AND RESPECT OF OTHERS.

I have been full time amie in public in various conditions now.

I had a very good experience over-all walking in a shopping area in Madison, WI.

As I walked through the mall I sensed that most people going about there busy lives and not paying attention to who was around them . Those who specifically looked at me did seem to take a second look. However no one said anything to me and I did not feel threatened in any way.

If I could summarize all of my latest thougths about the last week presenting as a female in public. I would say that it was exciting and satisfactory.

I am not ashamed to be transgender. Being confident and honest about the person I am has helped me tremendously to face the world and my femininity. I am not yet on hormones but my positive experience in the general public gave me hope that I could go to be just as successful as Amie and meet plenty of friends along the way. I realized the more confident I felt about myself the more I went on about doing my own business. Being nervous has a lot to do with the fear of the unknown. As I gradually went into different stores I naturally found myself in new situations where I had to remind myself that I did indeed look feminine and most people will have no idea what I am going through in my mind and I left some people guessing. I mostly kept to myself although when I had to speak I did, in the best feminine voice possible. I found most clerks eager to help and I feel that I was treated as well as everyone else if not even better sometimes.

The reality of this experience is that in order to be confident I needed to know I was presenting my best feminine self. Being conscious that people tend to treat good looking and well dressed people differently, I really am trying to portray a clean, common but beautiful nature about myself that says "I really care about who I am and I am happy to shop in your store". All transgender people represent another unique market for the shopping world. Any business owner should be happy to make extra sales from us and treat us well enough to come back.

The most uncomfortable feeling I have is around men. If I never interact with them that would be just fine with me. But I guess getting along with men as Amie is probably one of my greatest challenges. Gradually I hope to learn to be more comfortable with the male salespeople although I would prefer someone with a sensitive personality over someone more macho.

I have not gone into a tavern yet and I sense that it is probably easier to get rude comments in a tavern because of the people who have had too much to drink and are to free with their thoughts and get carried away.

I think walking the mall was a great way to boost my confidence. The mall was monitored by security, most people behave themselves and there are plenty of fun places to shop all together so that you don't have to waste time driving all around town. I have met certain salespeople who have been extra helpful and I am hoping to make a list for myself of those people who treated me the best and I will do most of my shopping there.

My thoughts throughout this experience were the following. Even though a person may disagree with a person's philosophy, or feel uncomfortable about their looks, or not like their mannerisms, or style of clothing, tolerance of another persons right to share world experience in their own way allows for peace and harmony. People may have thoughts of prejudice but when they don't vocalize disgust and keep their hurtful comments to themselves, they are respecting the differences of another person and I intern respect their right to not like me.

I have kept my inner self hidden for years because I was afraid of what people think. I am starting my life fresh with new ideas and a new circle of friends. I used to think it was important to have everyone like me. Now I am being more selective of who I want as my friends and those true friends are the ones who will like me for who I am and not who they want me to be.

The greatest lesson I am learning through this experience, is the importance of knowing what I want out of life and who I am as a person. Everything else is secondary because I cannot begin to live if I do not first love and take care of myself. Once I am healthy psychologically as well as physically I am more able to reach out and care for other people in need and offer them the support that I never had because I was too afraid early on in my life to ask.

Amie

[Bonnie]

Very good. Amie! You have a come a long way in what seems like such a short time. I am cheering for you!

Bonnie

[Viccy]

Amie it is nice to read about your experiences , it gives me a bit more courage as I am on hormones and slowly creeping out of the door. I have gone out several times but never at home , I am planning to soon however.Thanks for sharing.

[StripyMoggie]

Thank you for sharing, Amie. On the whole I enjoyed my shopping trips and strolls around town in daylight. There were a few misplaced homophobic jibes, but usually people are too busy to notice, or if they do notice, care. I find teenage girls most terrifying, as they *always* notice and pass comment.

[stephani]

LOL, yeah tweans are a bit of " lets make a " when it comes to any thing or anyone out of the ordinary , My favorites are the older gentlemen with there OH yeah eyes , and then when Granny smacks them ... So funny .

I usually just get the guy who wants a closer look and the friendly comversation , and alot of flirting ... especially down in the southern regions of the west , OH MY GOD , do the latinos love to see me coming , I just left Nogalas AZ and had three guys strike up conversations and flirtting , and a few with the puppy dog eyes , and one well we are going to see where that one leads the next time I'm in the area ... I know I have the date but what all is going to emerge is yet to be seen ,( lots of talk on his part LOL ) I thinks alot more talking and a few drinks before this girl is going to swing for first base ...

Hee hee , oh to be young again , ah what am I saying I am young enough LOL

Hugs
Stephani

[tbirdgal]

Amie, I've never ever been that far North . Meanwhile , I met a Madison transplant yesterday at Church. On the subject of going out in public and being dressed , simple , BE REALISTIC!!!!!!!!!

Rule #1 Dress approperately and look yer age hon.

Rule #2 watch that posture and sit lady like

Rule # 3 on speaking , keep arms close , keep eye contact AT ALL TIMES

Unofficial rule # 4, uh try going to Gay or at least Gay friendly bars and resturants until you have mastered rules 1-3

[PlagueBubonic]

Good advice Ms. Tbirdgal!! Refreshing to read!!

[tbirdgal]

Plauge , unlike too many of my brothers an sisters , I have no problems with the Crossdressers . Too many times we are constantly putting each other down over or "RUNG " on the Gender Rainbow . I see the Post ops dissappearing into the wood work and unwilling to help those just starting out. I see those pre-ops that won't come to help out the Crossdressers as it "Demeans them ". OH BOO- Hoo......

Dammit , stop the silliness , share what you're good at ! We're all here to support one another !