Sign in to follow this  
Followers 0

Confidence is everything

7 posts in this topic

Posted

For folks in NH. You know that without complete surgery, there is no changing the gender marker on a drivers license. So I still live with this big F. Anyway, my old car is dying a slow death and this past week I have been going to dealerships looking for a good deal. Anytime I asked to test drive a car, I needed to allow the dealership to make a copy of my drivers license. Great! I found at a few of the dealerships, when I first talked to them, I was one of the good ole boys. but when I came back from the test drive...at first.....I was this female that they needed to soften their talk to. But, that changed after a few minutes. I remained confident in the man I am. And I found that ...even though they saw on a legal document ...that big F. It mattered more ...who they saw and who they heard...in person. The hormones have deepened my voice greatly and with the facial hair etc. Anyway...finding people trust more what they see in person vs a piece of paper. Just thought I'd put this out their in case others are fearful of these types of situations.

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

there's only one thing i find strange about this - mistakes are made all the time, including on driver's licenses. so i'm wondering why they didn't either ignore the "F" having had no prior clue to your birth sex, or give you a hard time about it (teasing, joking around) instead of immediately assuming that you were female.

maybe i'm just being too sensative about it...but i think that's pretty screwed up that they even attempted to change gears. congrats on regaining recognition.

-michael

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

Hawkman,

I cant say for sure if it'd work up there, but in the beginning of my transition and all I did was go to a different DMV than my usual one, and simply mentioned 'sir, um, I ent to the bar, and noticed something I should/'ve noticed long ago. As you can see, Im not a male, Im ure its a mistake, but can I please get it corrected?'

Within five minutes, I went from the annoying 'm' to an 'f'. In the state I was in, it required proof of surgery, but I was fortunate enough to reach someone who couldn't tell. Mind you, passing is essential in theis example, but Im sure if you have yourself together, itd be hard for them to really push the issue. Give it a shot! Worst they can do is say no.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

Hawkman,

I cant say for sure if it'd work up there, but in the beginning of my transition and all I did was go to a different DMV than my usual one, and simply mentioned 'sir, um, I ent to the bar, and noticed something I should/'ve noticed long ago. As you can see, Im not a male, Im ure its a mistake, but can I please get it corrected?'

Unfortunately that won't work here in New Hampshire, we be ditial mon. The state computers are linked to the Social Security database. So unless you've managed to get that changed, you're not going to get the gender field changed.

It sucks, but it is what it is.

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

good call. i've found that the most effective way to interact with others, regardless of the situation, is to have confidence in everything you do. people will respond to whatever you present; if you are confident in your presentation, they will respond to you as such.

that said, i am ftm, and in my experience we have an "easier" physical transition, due to the power of testosterone to overcome estrogen in terms of facial features, widening of shoulders, etc.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

I agree totally. Confidence is everything. I want to do this so much. But I fear people will laugh at me, point at me, and generally give me a hard time. Actually everyone knows what I am, it's an open secret, well I did that deliberately, preparing the ground. But I don't know, to take the final step is very hard.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

Hawkman BRAVO!!! :D I think your very brave and wise ;) ...thanks for share'n your story ... and It really does not matter what others think... you are the only one that it does matter to. Keep on thriving my dear :) .. With the confidence you posses your going to be just fine! :D Ps the only thing that matters is how we treat others for if we give respect we will get it back somehow. ^_^

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  
Followers 0