The Importance of Body Language in Passing

18 posts in this topic

Posted

Second to voice, improper body language makes passing difficult. In my high school, in Dunedin, Florida, all the girls had to take a class called, "Ladylike Deportment," and all the boys had to take a class called, "Gentlemanly Deportment." It pays to be mindful of our body language.

Please allow me to address female body language:

  • Ladies take shorter steps when walking.
  • Ladies have more graceful, softer and smaller body movements.
  • Ladies stand with their feet together.
  • Ladies often cross their ankles.
  • Ladies hold their legs together, especially at the thighs.
  • Ladies shake hands with a gentler grip.
  • Ladies are more "pulled together," when sitting, both of their person and property, ie, when sitting on the bus or subway (smaller footprint).
  • Ladies are more talkative. You will see this in the supermarket, restaurant and mall.
  • Ladies smile more than gentlemen.
  • Ladies speak softly and with a higher pitched voice.

Now please allow me to address male body language:

  • Gentlemen take longer steps when walking.
  • Gentlemen have more brusque, larger body movements.
  • Gentlemen have a wider stance when standing.
  • Gentlemen almost never cross their ankles.
  • Gentlemen almost never hold their legs together (especially at the thighs).
  • Gentlemen have a stronger, firmer grip when shaking hands.
  • Gentlemen have a larger "footprint," literally taking more space, when sitting, their knees spread outward, ie, when sitting on the bus or on the subway.
  • Gentlemen are more chivalrous, especially towards those that are weaker, such as women, children, seniors and the disabled, such as holding a door open.
  • Gentlemen are sparing of speech, talking only when absolutely necessary.
  • Gentlemen speak more loudly and deeply.
  • Gentlemen do not smile as much as ladies.

There is a difference in being a woman or a man as opposed to being a lady or a gentleman. Sexual orientation has nothing to do with it. It is a lifetime work, whether you cisgender or transgender, LGBT or Straight.

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Posted

:lol: I think for men, the "talking only when absolutely necessary," which no doubt once went hand-in-hand with "men don't talk much on the phone," has sorta gone out the window. It seems with the advent of chatrooms, instant messengers and cell phones... Chuck is just as chatty as Cathy.

:P

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Posted

Hello,

Good information :D Years ago I enlisted the aid of a woman who helped transgenders and she pointed out pretty much all your bullets and also getting me to talk with my hands more which I do to this day.

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Posted

Thanks for this insight. I think I patterned my after after my mom. (There is quite a stoy behind this) I do most of these and I don't even think about it. So when I cross my legs or cross my ankles I am doing something unusual? I am also a talker and love to smile. I am not sure about my walk but I have been told on multiple occasions I do have a natural side to side hip motion. (Not normal to a male) The only gentleman things I really do are when I am in a unpleasent discussion or a location, where I am concerned how I may be perceved, I dont speak much. Also, I have always tried to give a firm handshake. I guess once patterened it can be very difficult to change. But really learning some of these sounds a bit like brainwashing and maybe couner produtive to a person bcoming the real person they were meant to be. Dawn

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Posted

I think Monica and I are about the same age...school, when were little, was quite a bit different than it is now. But being in the north, I took no such classes that Monica mentioned - I don't even know if they existed. Least ways...not in public school. I do know, however, that the south seemed to hold on to some of the blaringly gender-related schooling much longer than the north did.

I discovered this the hard way when my dad was transferred from the northeast (where we are from anyway) to the south. There were classes I was forced to take that I wouldn't have had to take back home, and other classes I couldn't take. In both cases, the reasons for or against were gender driven.

Some of the things in the lists above must certainly be social dictates. Of course that's not to say that people don't or shouldn't subscribe to them even if only partially - quite often, people have little choice if they don't want to be subjected to unwanted scrutiny. But over time, I've seen some of the socially dictated body language especially for men begin to erode.

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Posted

:lol: I think for men, the "talking only when absolutely necessary," which no doubt once went hand-in-hand with "men don't talk much on the phone," has sorta gone out the window.

Not sure if I did the quote thing right lol I just wanted to try using it XD But as for guys on the phone, honestly I cant talk to people on the phone, and I dont call my guy friends lol we just sit there like *crickets chirping* "yup....so......." XD phone conversations are so awkward for guys, im not sure why. Girls will talk on and on and on and onnnnnnnnnn about EVERYTHING. It baffles me how easily it comes for them o.o

-Warren

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Posted

Good information. My wife helped me with some things (she said that I cross my legs like a woman). I studied some of the mannerisms early on and it helped. I need to smile more, though.

:)

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Posted

Walking is pretty important and sometimes over looked.  This site may give some insight as to what you might want to watch for and correct.  Just adjust the sliders to your preferred gender, body weight, then relaxed and happy.  And practice, practice, practice.

http://www.biomotionlab.ca/Demos/BMLwalker.html

 

 

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Posted

Ol' Charlie, THANK YOU for the excellent link about biomechanics!  MUST VIEWING for everyone!!

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Posted

I've found that RELAXING when I walk helps a lot, especially in public and crowds (like at our DC Metro).

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Posted

I like to dance and so does my wife.

 

:)

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Posted

Hrt redistributes a fair amount of body mass in terms of muscle and fat.  And bones don't weigh much.  So helping your body adjust seems likely to be beneficial.  And women generally have less lower back stress than men having their greatest weight in the hips rather than the shoulders.  Only quadruped's have it better than that. lol

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Posted

I first started learning to walk but wearing 3 inch heels and a sack skirt for shorter strides. A girl has to be confident who she is taking shorter steps and using your hips for movement. I see now where men balance from the shoulders and arms move a lot so keeping the arms in , chest out , and shoulders back is a good start. Hands to your side or clutching your purse so that arent swinging like guys. I find myself doing this now even when out and not en femme. Certainly feels more elegant and graceful too

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Posted

Monica , OK , I'm guilty as sin not getting all over the forum as you do . I noticed your tips and honestly , they are so "RIGHT ON " . Goodness, I'm guilty of NOT following through on some of the Female ones and I've been called out by women on NOT doing so .

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Posted

Here's another one I've found to be true most of the time:

When nodding the head (e.g. in the affirmative or in acknowledgement), women nod downwards, men nod upwards.

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Posted

When women smile at me I smile back. I'm more aware of having good posture.

 

:)

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Posted

When crossing legs, don't forget women let the crossed leg hang down, men don't...

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Posted

When crossing legs, don't forget women let the crossed leg hang down, men don't...

​​This is definitely a great tip. Classy and sassy. ;)

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