"I break the law regularly and whenever I use the restroom in public."


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Posted (edited)

I was the first transgender person to change their name legally through our county clerk office. I will soon be the first transgender female to change her M to an F on her ID though our DMV. (It has been a pleasant learning experience for all involved. I mean that seriously.)

I have given in, but only slightly, on my stubbornness to change my M to an F using laws that do not use the words gender and sex correctly. I talked to both my mental health provider and my primary care today to ask them to write the necessary affidavit that will state my predominant gender is female, which will allow me to change both my NY state ID and my Calif. birth certificate to reflect that I am female. (I only need one but better to have too much than not enough) I should be receiving those affidavits by mail in a few days.

Now that doesn't mean I'm giving up on educating people on the difference and proper use of the words Sex and Gender. It just means I will no longer be able to state defiantly that "I break the law regularly and whenever I use the restroom in public."

#transgender   #lgbt   #lgbtq  

Edited by EricaRavenwood
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Posted (edited)

For NY state the law states I need a note from my primary care stating my predominant gender is female. No surgery is required. The reason I asked my mental health peeps to fill out an affidavit as well is because gender is not a medical determination but a psychological one. You can't see a gender. Only a sex. I'll get my M changed to an F but like with all things within this topic I try to educate.

Sex and Gender are still being used in a legal sense as if they have the same meaning, but Sex and Gender are two very different things with very different meanings.

It doesn't say Gender (a psychological determination) on my ID or birth certificate. It says Sex (a physical determination). The laws however state I can change my gender marker. Something that doesn't at this time exist but they treat sex and gender as being one and the same thing.

That leads me to why I suggest both sex and gender be noted on everything, including ID's, for all people. Then and only then can gender identity and it's protections be legislated.

I could have done this as far as changing my M to an F two years ago but have been arguing that point and refusing to take advantage of a poorly written law.

An argument I hear often is "Why should we bother changing anything for a group so small as transgender people?" About 1% of the people in the US require wheelchair access according to the US census. The Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) of 1990 required sweeping physical changes to both transportation, building and restroom access. A cost certainly in the billions if not trillions. At the time people complained about the cost. The arguments voiced at the time were "Why should we bother changing anything for a group so small as disabled people?". Few now see it as a bad thing and we live with the changes simply expecting them to be there. It required a change in how we see a need in our society. 

The transgender population is roughly 5%. We are only asking for the changing of some documents so they are accurate, a few very inexpensive and easy changes around accommodations for discretion, freedom of expression that would apply to all people and an eventual change in how we see a need in our society.

Edited by EricaRavenwood
I could have done this as far as changing my M to an F two years ago but have been arguing that point and refusing to take advantage of a poorly written law.
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Posted

"An argument I hear often is "Why should we bother changing anything for a group so small as transgender people?""  -- Erica

THIS is exactly what I was talking about in the thread I started, "700,000."  And if you've heard this argument revolving around the M or F on your DL... then you KNOW damn well, there are THOUSANDS of others who have the same attitude!  And that is why I believe no one in this country is interested in REALLY finding out a true percentage of trans people, because then they will be able to feel better about their discrimination and bigotry.  Keep us swept under the rug.  In the dark.  Out of sight - out of mind.  If we don't exist, we don't have to be addressed.

Michael

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Posted (edited)

I'm assuming you are frustrated by the situation we find ourselves in and not me personally, lol

We need more people stating the better arguments. Better arguments than the standards of "Because I want it.", "Who cares about your discomfort?" (Coming from the transgender side) and "Stop being mean to me." There are certainly better arguments. This is what I try to show people. This is why I have I had no issues personally through any of this process? Because I speak to people in public just as I write. Never have I been met with someone making a decision to or not to do something. For me it really has been a pleasant experience. I just walk in and say this is what we are doing today guys. Yesterday when I talked to the people I did I said "it's just a learning curve. We'll figure it out for the next one." And then handed them my card if they have questions. Of course it always helps that I say these things with a wink and a smile.

We need consistency across the board though. Gender and sex being used correctly each time we use them whether that is medically, within legislation or within education. None of this has to be rocket science but we are also not going to step beyond the confusion if what we are saying as a group isn't consistent or makes sense on a consistent basis.

Edited by EricaRavenwood
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Posted

"I'm assuming you are frustrated by the situation we find ourselves in and not me personally, lol"  --Erica
Yes... the situation, not you.  I'm sorry.  I guess some things just really chap me.  :wub:

And yes, the issue with the terms "sex" and "gender" do need to be straightened out.  It's possible that we may have trouble getting further faster until people learn, understand and accept that while the two have always been inextricably linked, they are distinct and mean different things, and neither can always determine the other.

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Posted (edited)

I'm not sure where you are from Veronica but here in the US we are having some issues because people interchange the words gender and sex as if they have the same meaning. They mistake gender expression for gender identity. In the US we have almost nothing set up but that gives us a unique opportunity here. We have a chance to educate and create an entire system A to Z that even a cisgender person who can't be bothered can understand. To do that though it has to make sense and we need to remove understandable arguments they have.

If you are interested this is the page on the website where I talk about declaration which deals with gender identity and the segregation of the M and the F in restrooms and facilities we as a society consider should be segregated.

http://www.thetransgendermovement.com/declaration.html

What I don't mention is that when I change my M to an F on my ID it will not only grant me legal access to places such as the restroom where we are clothed, but also facilities where we are naked. I won't use that legal access because I posses a degree of propriety, but that legal access is still implied. Please don't say "who cares". People care with good reason I assure you and I hate being the one person from the transgender community who understands that. My F should come with an asterix like a ball player who broke a record by taking performance enhancing drugs, lol. Something that would denote, in the legal sense, limited access because I've had no surgery. It would do nothing to diminish the fact that my gender has always been female.

I realize I have an advantage of not viewing being transgender as a negative but ya know what? Because I don't view it as a negative neither do the people I interact with and find out either through conversation or whatever reason. For me personally I don't care about changes. I've been peeing illegally for 2 1/2 years without issue or worry. (I lived three years full time prior but had issues because I was afraid) I could go without changing the M to an F the rest of my life and be perfectly fine, but I also don't care if people know I'm transgender and no change will affect me positively or negatively in any laws, but as my ex wife loves saying to me "it's not all about you." and so I view this from 10,0000 feet. I know that if I fix it for the kids I fix it for all time.

Understanding what is gender identity and what would be granted as far as legal access in segregated areas would resolve much, if not all, of the argument around right of use based on gender identity in the US, and I'm simply talking about the US which has no system. Not about tearing down systems in other countries.

 

Edited by EricaRavenwood
spelling correction
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Posted

My letter from my primary care came in the mail today. I'll be going to DMV tomorrow.

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Posted

M to an F.jpg

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Posted

I didn't read everyone posts but according to authors topic title I can safely assume that one needs to do the legal paperwork in order to live as a wonderful woman (for m to f that is).  

Well it's my 4th year in transition & I just go use women washrooms at will but it doesn't mean I stoop around in or be a pervert around being there.  One has to trust in itself to live & feel as a women truly.

As far as paperwork is concerned if & when the time arises, my simple proof of authenticity will be my YouTube channel Shazy Jeo.

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Posted (edited)

I was thinking about the core topic of simply " Law " !

Well I don't know how many people in the forum's are aware, with what they can get as what they can get away?  

You see my point of view goes like this :-

I cross dress, I enjoy myself,receive thrill of the moment, I return to base.

Now for me to keep wearing cross dressing & NOT materialized whatever that maybe, goes against my logic.  Okay sometimes one needs to wear cross dressing clothes & get over past day or two.

But put yourself in Star Trek episode Cross2play series?

Here is the issue / problem:-

In many countries of world the public doesn't accept transgenders or cross dressers etc! Now teleport yourself to of these countries (and I am not even going to get into violence) I mean bullet shots, kidnappings to criminal activities in these countries??? I couldn't even dream of walking for hours at end without an incident from one of these countries, but that's the point, breaking which law? That's why I agree with UsernameOptional.

So my point is if you cross dress & do NOT cherish that moment there is something wrong with your programming ?

Or maybe you're not aware of International laws which supercede United State's laws any day anytime. Its like telling masses of people we lgbt / tg / gay people have more rights than you?  That's why I believe in United State's Constitution to accept all & bear all.

Edited by cross2play
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Posted

Yes really Monica a lot of the transgender folk here in West take cross dressing as minor step to whole transgender thing.  I mean from my experience of interaction with other transgender folk, 90% are bedroom cross dressers?  

The other thing is if I were to go back to my country and just walk in some Western outfit clothing & high heels I would probably get very rude behavior from others around?  Now if there was private party at friends than I could go dressed however from sitting my car to go from point A to B and straight into party invite. But all cross dressing back home only goes so far. That's why I enjoy cdsing on it own merit without the sexual part, I couldn't careless between. I like girls etc!  

Really some white folks should buy a airline pack girly stuff in suitcase & try it over there and see how it goes? Because I cannot speak on white men cdsing in another maybe they'll even have a better time, so every case is different?

But I know what i want from America..he he :)

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