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Emma

This column is about transgender people and it’s perfectly ordinary

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This column really spoke to me. Love the writer's name too! :-)

This column is about transgender people and it’s perfectly ordinary

This paragraph means a lot to me:

Howe doesn’t want to sugar-coat the sad stuff. She just wants to read more about the joyful stuff. And she puts her money where her mouth is. When journalism students at the University of Oregon asked if they could profile her for their assignments, she told them:| “I’m happy to have you do a story on me, but no more stories about my battle with the world. No more stories about my struggle to live. Please don’t ever ask me my opinion on the bathroom again because the only one I’m going to give you is that I think more public institutions should be required to use Charmin.”

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Thanks Emma for sharing this article. I have been struggling with all the negativity that people have and don’t want any part of it. Life is too short. Say what you mean, mean what you say but don’t say it mean. Because there is no reason to. There needs to be more positive everyday stories about trans persons in the media but that doesn’t sell as well. So what can I do? Send positive responses or comments to those who produce them. If I want someone to consider my point of view (especially if they are uninformed) than I can’t force it on them. They need space to absorb it, contemplate what it means to them. Just like I can move to fast in my transition the trans movement can also move to fast in the world that just does not understand yet. When something is forced on me I tend to get defensive. The positive stories of our world are the key to unlock a lot of closed doors. Thank you again for opening my mind a bit more. 

Christy

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Christy, negativity is certainly hard to deal with - for everyone - and especially for trans people. We have it internally as we stress about so much, and externally receive it from others. I'm not very good at dealing with it myself. I try to be mindful, to focus on what's in front of me right now, and then to enjoy what I see. Sometimes that works, sometimes it fails miserably. 

I think we also like to vent with others, to have people hear our stories, our trials, tribulations, and receive encouragement. It's like receiving a thousand likes on FB or here for that matter. It feels good but it's like an addictive drug, we crave more. 

I don't think there is an answer that gets rid of negativity, even what we generate ourselves internally. It's part of being human. It sucks but so does dieting, taxes, and illness (in reverse priority order). 

The reason that paragraph spoke to me is that I have a friend who runs a podcast about trans people and she's invited me to be on it. I don't have a firm date for when we'll do it but I hope it's soon. I've thought a fair amount about what I'll say and what we should talk about. It seems to me that my goal is to share a slice of my life as a 60+ year old trans woman, and to joyfully demonstrate that I'm pretty darned happy in my life. Indeed I've suffered a lot to get here and still have ups and downs, and I suppose I'll tell some of that for context. Overall I would love it if cisgender listeners will understand even a little bit more that trans people are nice and decent members of society, deserving of love and respect like anyone else. 

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Hi Emma 

 Positive and negative will always exist. I believe you have to experience one to know the other. Like poles on a battery or Poles on the planet it’s just a fact of the universe.  But I don’t have to choose to stand on the negative end of a battery😍. I can even except and understand the outside world being negative at times. Even when it’s misguided at times. It’s the negative energy that’s generated in our own community that I am struggling with because there’s just no need for it. It’s a choice. I think a lot of people are completely unaware that they’re even doing it and I have empathy for them in that regard. I do think that more people are waking up to this every day which is awesome and brings more hope but some people however feed off of it and I have no intention of becoming their lunch or sharing the meal. So I will continue to move forward with a positive attitude and that’s about all I can do. 

Keep sweet 😍

Christy

Edited by Christy
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