Transgender Dating From a Lesbian’s Point of View
by Tina Foster
Before I go into my experiences with transgender MtFs, let me give you a brief background of who I am:
I am an early 30s, genetically born female that identifies myself as a lesbian. This means I am not sexually attracted to men. I may find men attractive in some situations, but that doesn’t mean I want to be with them physically. I am only sexually attracted to women. Of course, in my younger years I did experiment with a couple of guys – but that’s all that it was, experimentation, and I can tell you honestly that I am 100% lesbian.
My first experience with a transgender MtF was online. I had used a dating site to put up a profile because, well, I was looking for companionship and wanted to reach outside my small town to find a female lover. One of my responses was from a transgender woman. She was very up front about it, didn’t try to trick me or anything like that – and I was intrigued, because I’d never dated one before, and I pride myself on my open-mindedness. So I figured “Why not?”
As soon as I spent time with her, I never thought of her as anything but a woman. She looked like a woman, acted like a woman, spoke like a woman, moved like a woman. She was (IS) a woman. It wasn’t her fault that she was born with the wrong outer shell. Who am I to question how one genetic code didn’t line up correctly while she was in the womb?
Once we dated a few times, I did some research and asked a lot of questions – because I like having the facts about things. And I learned something I already knew – this person is female.
Now I’m not going to get into all the scientific mumbo-jumbo about all of this – you can see that in other places on the Internet, including tgguide.com. I’m just giving you a different perspective from someone other than a male dating a female.
This particular person (the one from the online ad), and I, didn’t make a “love match”, however we were still compatible in friendship, and we’re still very close to this day. She’s one of my dearest friends.
The second MtF transgender I dated was pre-op (meaning she still had some man parts) – but still, I didn’t see her as anything but a female (with an extra appendage), and we got along fine. I saw her for a few months before I moved out of state. Then saw her a couple of times after that, before I lost touch with her. I still think about her every now and then, and probably will for a long time.
Bottom line is this: A person that has the unfortunate instance to be born with the wrong parts, doesn’t make that person automatically male or female. This identity is inside the person. No matter what society wants to try to brainwash into our heads, genetic mistakes are made – and the people born with gender identity issues should be able to rectify those issues.
I know if I had been born in a male body – with my obvious female self inside – I would want to set her free.
And that’s my point of view.