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Found 4 results

  1. This past weekend I was part of a discussion about transition and digital identities. Since I've been taking a really deep introspective dive through my digital identity in Second Life, and through this community and on various forms of Social Media. I had thoughts. Assuming you are expressing yourself genuinely (as opposed to deliberately playing the role of a character separate from you), then however that expression presents is *valid*. Even if you're presenting in with a different name and a different face through media. The words you choose come from you. it's a part of you, and that is a legitimate facet of your own identity. Don't let anyone tell you different. Also, if you're exploring your digital identity, it remains yours. These components of yourself that you're trying on, they're intimate to you. They belong to you. It's ok for the journey you take to evolve along the way. If you discover that a part of identity that seemed so right when you first began doesn't work for you, allow it to change. This is all a process and as everyone who is further along on their journey would tell you, it can take most of a lifetime to discover who you are. Especially when you're shedding the toxic parts of yourself you hung on to because you wished to fit in with the expectations of others. Think of it this way, it's taken you this long to learn how to present yourself as the person you show to the outside world. You've learned how to speak, how to dress, what to say and how to *be* the person you are now. Sometimes that includes self-delusion, other times toxic gender traits but by the time you've come to the point where you are ready to explore the identity traits you've denied all of your life, those traits are rooted deep inside you. It will take a proportional amount of time to change them, and in that process you may believe that what you wanted at the start is what you need at the end. Have faith in yourself. Trust yourself. Listen to the people who love you, listen to the people who support you. Disregard the people who only love what *they* want you to be. I know this reads like I'm talking to you dear reader when, truth be told, I'm talking to me. At this point in my journey, I'm mostly exploring my gender and sexual identities through digital means. (mostly, not exclusively, I'm out to a few very dear and close friends and family and my therapist who are all here in the very non-digital world.) There is a measure of safety and comfort for me to use the digital identity tool to understand myself. I wonder if it will lead to me having the confidence to live this truth beyond the idealized image of Desiree as she presents now. Time, it seems, will tell.
  2. JayM

    Male

    That was my first Christmas as a man. Officially, that is. Unofficially, I've been that way for years But all the documentation, and the websites, and the bank cards and credit cards that I have in my possession, showing my new, real name, they all tell me that I'm officially a man now. (Notwithstanding the fact that my birth certificate still says "girl" on it, but it'll be a long time before that gets changed, so I'm not counting that). I've just changed my gender on here, in that little dropdown thingy on the profile page. That's a technical term, for all the non-IT people out there - "dropdown thingy" I just changed it. From "Transgender" to "Male". Because when I logged in, I looked at my profile and thought, "My gender isn't transgender. That's an adjective to describe me, maybe, but it's not my gender." At best I would choose "Trans male" if it was there, or "Trans man". Or maybe "AFAB". But, hey, I'm male and I'm proud of it. So I changed the dropdown thingy. I'd like to take this opportunity to wish everyone on here a fabulous 2016 and I hope it brings each and every one of you everything you desire. Personally, I desire the T, but I'm in for a long wait, it seems. Maybe this time next year my voice will be a little deeper and I'll be moaning about having to shave every morning before I go to work, but who knows...? Hey... and before I forget... if anyone in the UK happens to read this and they are planning a visit to Sparkle 2016, and they feel inclined to have a wee dram or a cup of tea with a Mancunian who is also planning a visit to Sparkle 2016... well, as long as you're not an axe murderer or something... My thanks go to all you guys and girls who have provided such valuable advice to me this year. Much respect. And hugs. Ok, maybe just one hug. A quick one. Before anyone sees. Have a Happy New Year. xx
  3. As a cisgender Lesbian, the price for immediate interaction, as provided by the Internet, rather than meeting face to face, is a loss of community. It is important to maintain community. In the age of the Internet (especially social media), cell/smart phones, and other technology, it is becoming more and more difficult. In the Lesbian community, as I am seeing Lesbians approaching gaining their full civil rights, I am seeing less community. Presently, I only see Lesbian Connection and Golden Threads, among a few others, trying to maintain community among Lesbians, and they are struggling. Sadly, I have also noticed that most Lesbian bookstores no longer exist. My great concern is, when, as transpeople achieve greater acceptance, are they going to lose community, too? The challenge to the TLGB community, is to maintain community as the emphasis in our society shifts from face to face to online interaction. In my opinion, I feel we have it reversed. People should meet face to face PRIMARILY, and maintain contact (and community!) through technology. The Internet should be seen as a tool to support face to face interaction, but not to supplant it.
  4. I am so peed off with organisations getting my identity wrong.......... I have just received an appointment for a Pituitary MRI Scan at Redditch Hospital.....(because I had an abnormally low testosterone count in my blood) addressed to Mr Eve Ann ............. How embarrassing! I could go there and get called out as Mr ........... when I'm not anymore.........I've phoned the hospital, they've apologised, but I don't trust them to get it right. Identity change is a nightmare..................
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