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AshMich1945 : (18 December 2014 - 10:57 AM) Hello...my name when I'm transformed, is Ashleigh Michelle James. I'm a lifelong cd/tg from sw Connecticut. I've been fascinated by female attire and femininity since I was very young. Now that I'm mature, I can enjoy all the benefits of being a woman. I hope to meet many more members from CT and share my experiences with them as well as possibly go out for shopping trips, coffee latches and brunch.
CharityLynnC... : (16 December 2014 - 01:24 AM) lol
veronicabeta : (15 December 2014 - 10:16 PM) Recalling all the times I cursed "dial up" and was worried the Interweb might have become self aware !
UsernameOpti... : (15 December 2014 - 09:30 PM) Duct tape, bailing wire, bubble gum and a good hammer will usually fix nearly anything!
Lori : (15 December 2014 - 08:43 PM) Sorry about the outage today. We had server problems but banging on it with a hammer seemed to work! ;)
CharityLynnC... : (15 December 2014 - 08:22 PM) what in the world cause this site to be down for a day...lol..tried to get on and got an sql server error..
jennifer38 : (15 December 2014 - 10:56 AM) I plan to hold another conference this Saturday at 3 PM Eastern.  For those who came to the last one, the number and meeting ID are the same.  Anybody who does not have the number and is interested, please message me, as I've been advised to not openly post the number and ID for fear of them falling into the hands of troublemakers.  Also, anytime I bring up religion and The Bible, it is not meant to intimidate or embarrass anyone.  I'm sorry if anyone feels put down, because I have no intentions of doing so.  In spite of my transgender feelings, I have a deep love for Christ, but I respect those who don't believe like I do.  My goal of these telephone chats is simply to create a telephone hang-out for us fellow trans on all levels of the spectrum, and for our allies.  I hope to see you all there.
cross2play : (13 December 2014 - 07:57 PM) I cross dresser 1st time in days & walked on high street as her it was amazingly incredible : cdsing in moderation he he !
PamalaFlinn : (12 December 2014 - 02:56 PM) Jay P . I am in Baltimore sometimes.
MonicaPz : (12 December 2014 - 01:15 PM) Jen, it was great, and I can't wait!
jennifer38 : (12 December 2014 - 01:12 PM) I thank everybody who called into my telephone conference.  It was wonderful.  I feel good about talking to others and hearing their perspectives.  Lord willing, I will hold another one, soon.  The conference number and ID will always be the same.  I will let you all know when I plan to do this, again.  God bless you all.
JayPea25 : (12 December 2014 - 11:50 AM) Anyone in Baltimore!?
veronicabeta : (12 December 2014 - 12:16 AM) Dug the Vid Warren. T.Y.!
Bonnie : (11 December 2014 - 02:45 PM) Fun video, Warren, except for the ending.  The jumping while running hand in hand.  It is good to see a video like this though.  Thank you.
jennifer38 : (11 December 2014 - 11:41 AM) This is a reminder about my telephone conference, tomorrow afternoon at 3 EST.  Come out and enjoy yourself.  This is a general chat about our various transgender feelings and issues.  This is a great way to get to know one another better.  Details are in the calendar.  If you have any questions, please message me.  Hope to see you there, tomorrow.
EmmaSweet : (09 December 2014 - 10:13 PM) Cool, Warren! Good thing they had subtitles. My Japanese is pretty weak!
WarrenG : (09 December 2014 - 08:57 PM) I found this really interesting/adorable homosexual music video and thought I'd share it with you guys and girls ^_^ (i grabbed the one with english subtitles for you XD) https://www.youtube....h?v=xxyA26gJ22E
jennifer38 : (09 December 2014 - 11:08 AM) Here's the number and code for my telephone conference I plan for this Friday, now at 3 PM Eastern.  The number is (605) 562-0020.  The meeting ID is 201-909-465.  This will just be a general hang-out and chat about our transgender issues and feelings.  This will be another time I can be one of the girls, even though I cannot do that in everyday life.  We can just enjoy ourselves and get to know one another through good old-fashion talk.  Hope to see you all there.
jennifer38 : (09 December 2014 - 09:42 AM) I had to change the time of my phone conference.  It's now scheduled for 3 Eastern on Friday, instead of 7.  The rest of the info is the same.  Full details are on the calendar.  Sorry if the time change inconveniences anyone.  If you have questions, please message me.
veronicabeta : (09 December 2014 - 12:04 AM) Shoutbox. Good one. New to the site and the life. Enjoying it so far! :)





Photo * * * * - 1 votes

The story of a confused girl

Posted by Melanie , 02 April 2012 · 145 views

Hello everyone, and welcome to my first blog.

I am so happy to have found this site to share my thoughts, my story and whatever advice I can with all the other TG people out there. I wanted to start off by sharing my story so far with everyone and we can go from there.

Once upon a time....j/k thought that would be kind of funny. Anyways,
Ever since I was about eight or nine I have always enjoyed wearing my sisters clothes, it wasn't anything sexual, it somehow just felt normal. I also want to point out that I was also brought up with two sisters and two step-sisters, this will come up later on. My childhood was pretty much the same as any other boys childhood was, I played in Little league (although at the time I wasn't that good), I played street hockey, I did what any other boy my age was doing. Now that I've come to the realization that I'm trans, I have realized that I was quite different back then, even if I did grow up just like the other boys.
I was never one of the "cool" kids, actually I was one of the ones they picked on, I was always teased about how I crossed my legs (even though guys DO cross their legs).
As I hit puberty the usual things happened, getting erections, attracted to girls, changing of the voice, etc. I don't need to explain eveything (or do I?) j/k. I never really had any girlfriends, I had girl friends (if you know what I mean). I also had boy friends, they were the ones I grew up with I never really made any new guy friends at my new schools, but somehow always connected with the girls.
My teen years were to be as expected, go to high school, get in trouble, (although I got into more trouble than most). I got older and eventually moved out on my own. This is where it seems I was finally able to spread my wings and fly.
A friend and I had got an apartment together and we had people over had the parties and what not. One day we were all talking about sex and other things and one of the guys who was new to the group had said that he masturbated a lot, and he thought about being with a guy, and that he might be gay, or at least bi-sexual. Everyone had made fun of him, but not to the extent of hurting his feelings, I know because I asked him about it later.
Although everyone was making jokes about his sexuality, it got me thinking about my own sexuality. After awhile he became "one of the guys" and then one day, I went over to his house to talk about the situation, and well I won't go into detail, but one thing lead to another. I have been with girls before and this just seemed to fit, I was actually happy and I was actually satisfied. That was the only time with that guy, not because of what had happened but for other reasons him and the rest of us just sort of drifted apart. Ever since then I was always curious about what if I am, or maybe because it was different, I wasn't sure. I eventually had gotten my own apartment and one night sitting alone I decided to try one of the phone chat lines, I started with the single girls side and after awhile I switched over to feed my curiosity. I quickly met up with someone that wanted to get together and BAM, I was hooked. I felt total gratification in what I was doing and it seemed normal (to me). Although I can't say I'm proud of it, but I turned into a slut, I wanted it from any guy whenever and so forth. Ok I'm getting carried away.
I eventually met one guy who (was supposed to be) a one night stand, give me his phone number. At the time I thought, ah whatever I won't call him, threw the number on my dresser and forgot about it, until the next day. LOL, I know right. Although you laugh, after eight years (and counting) I am still with that same guy. Since then I've come out to my family and friends and seemed happy, until now.
Although the past eight years I was happy, or at least I thought I was it seems like I was in grade school again, happy with my life, but something was still different, something was missing. I have done a lot of research and finally came to the conclusion that I am trans. Anytime I thought about it or was watching videos, I always came to this realization that I was happy, and it seemed like the missing piece of the puzzle.
So here I am, at the bottom of the mountain looking up to the achievments (and hurdles) I must get through to reach my goal. I have an appointment already to go talk to my Dr., about seeing a therapist, because I don't know of one that may be experienced in gender dysphoria in my city, so hopefully he can help me out. This is my first step to becoming Melanie!


Hugs,

Melanie





ravynsorrow
Apr 02 2012 05:29 PM
well first off hun..welcome and secondly your among supportive people so yea your story is cool. thanks for sharing
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