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Topics of interest to those with gender identity dysphoria and/or desire to live and be accepted as men whether pre-op, post-op or non-op, and whether "out" or not. *MUST BE A REGISTERED MEMBER TO OPEN ANY POSTS IN THIS DISCUSSION THREAD*
Here we go again. I know everyone goes thru this, but it seems to be happening more and more frequently for me. I'm sitting here wondering if I'm making the right choice to transition. Or if I should just quit transition and go on through life as the gender I was born. I watch TV and videos on YouTube, and I see these men on there, and I think to myself "Shouldn't I be like that? Wouldn't that make everyone happier? Adrianne wanted to marry a man. Not a half and half freak." I know I'm possibly using a term there about myself that may offend some of you, but that's about me only. Not anyone else here. Whether I'm trans or cis I would never use derogatory terms, as I would support the LGBTQ+ community either way.
But Adrianne would be happier with a man...…..right? Would I be happier to just let my beard grow, quit shaving my legs, and acknowledge that I have a penis? It would be easier. I think. Wouldn't that make it better? Simpler? Yeah I've had a legal name change, and the orchiectomy. But so what? A lot of men get orchiectomies, for a variety of reasons. And a name can always be changed back. Only this time I can pick what I want. I always liked the name Tristan.
Am I lying to myself? Am I living in a fantasy land? Or am I drunk/stoned even though I haven't touched any form of intoxicant? Some days I just don't think I can take this. I think that by stopping transition that things would be how they are supposed to be. I mean for example Adrianne is straight. She wanted a man. Instead she got, well, you know.
I hate myself. I feel like a freak of nature. Like I need to take my head out of my butt, and move on. I just don't know if having it up there is right, or taking it out is right.
Gigi Gorgeous Book launch at Indigo at Toronto (homecoming from L.A. to Toronto)
Hello everyone, I went to the book launch event where Gigi was being interviewed by ET Canada front of live audiences. I have uploaded full recording of how she talks about transitioning, family members, coming out, her YouTube channel, writing the book & most of all the importance of soul within transgenders, I was inspired by her down to Earth approach on her fame to rise as a m to f transitioning women.
This started about 2 weeks ago I would guess. I have been completely out of it. Lethargic to the point of not being able to hardly form a thought in my head. I go to bed tired, I'm out quick, I wake up tired, I spend the day tired, then repeat. I think I'm having the same problem I had when I was younger. I think I'm sleeping, but I'm not resting. When I was younger, if I slept at all I didn't really rest. But I also had extreme insomnia. I would go for up to 2 weeks with only getting micro sleeps. 15-20 minutes here and there. But now I'm having no desire to get up, due to being absolutely exhausted when I wake up. I don't even have the energy to play with my babies. I've fallen asleep at my computer more times than I can count over the last week I know. I would try coffee or something, but caffeine has a reverse effect on me. It relaxes me instead of energizing me. And energy drinks could be lethal for me. They make my heart race way too fast, and my body starts shaking as if I'm having a seizure. So all I can do is sit and sleep. But it does no good. I'm even starting to nod off right now.