Significant Others

This forum was started specifically for our significant others. Please feel free to invite your spouse, domestic partner or lover here to join our discussions. It could be interesting to see other points of view. I'm giving this forum a little extra publicity on our Twitter page as well as the home page of TGGuide. We can definitely use your help to spread the word! :)

Hello , And WELCOME to the Newest Members of the Forum The Significant Others , I wanted to make a personal and Hopefully Helpful Starting point for those who are truelly Significan in our lives , so I am Adding this section For the Sole Purpose For the Significant Others To Meet one another . As You may have noticed this Forum and the other Forums are here for Learning , Growing , Understanding , And Supporting , and on occasion a great time of silly banter . I hope this becomes a large community of Loving and Supportive Members as well , we all find that we need a shoulder to cry on , an ear to listen to us when we have concerns , and a guiding answer to the Press…

I just found this article on Huffington Post and liked it a lot: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/georgia-kolias/the-secret-to-staying-together_b_6379276.html?utm_hp_ref=transgender Here's the closing paragraph which has, at least for me, some real wisdom: "The secret to staying together is staying together, but more than that it is caring enough to see the world through someone else's eyes and saying, I see you. Not just the bluster or hubris, but the soft core inside that is oftentimes hidden from the harshness of the world. I see you." Isn't that nice? I need to remember that. Perhaps we all do. We all have a soft core inside that is at times vulnerable and sca…

Ok, my in laws have never liked me. That much has been clear through my entire marriage. Mainly it's because I don't come from money. Also I'm disabled. I'm in a wheelchair and will be for the rest of my life. For simplicity I'll call her MIL and him FIL. MIL and FIL are stuck up, entitled jerks. I want to use more explicit terms, but obviously, I can't here at TGG. Especially my mother-in-law. MIL has made comments throughout our relationship, both before the wedding and after. But after is when it got worse. A few years ago the 4 of us were out at Olive Garden. I made a joke with my wife and that was when MIL started threatening me with physical violence. Yet when I sai…

Here I am 58 yr old CD/TV who lives with his aging mother who has dementia and drinking problem and deep financial problems, trying to keep my wits and sanity while trying to dress up and meet others but life throws me a curve and have to attend to the financial matters more often.This makes my drive to dress up, I have to always come down from my upstairs room to either switch the TV mode to DVD or troubleshoot the remote control from the mute button which switches the TV to another mode which is a problem. My sanity is on trial, My brother is no help with him being out of state in Colorado. What am I supposed to do?

We got married in 2008. That’s 12 years ago. She got her stimulus check today. It came under her maiden name. I asked her about it and her excuse was “I guess I forgot to go to Social Security”. If we had been married 6 months then that would be a valid excuse. She has been filing taxes for 12 years. So that means that for 12 years she has known that her name wasn’t changed. Does my name mean so little to her that she doesn’t bother to update anything? I told her that if it means so little that she just needs to go back to her maiden name and quit using mine. This hurts like hell. Where I grew up the last name meant a hell of a lot more than people from other areas would …

Although I do not intend on transitioning from male to female I do present as female most of the time and do consider myself as transgender. My wife goes through these moments where she is grieving the loss of the "man" she married even though I am not dead and have no intention of having my penis removed. Have any of you suffered through this same or similar issue? How did you cope with it? Before anyone asks, yes we are going to couples therapy.

Realize that Ellen already wrote a book review on the book, The Sky Turned Green & The Grass Turned Blue: Diane's Story by Diana Kelly, about her personal journey as the Significant Other to a M2F Transsexual. Feel very strongly that not only significant others, but also transgender people themselves and therapists should read this book. The most important lesson I took away from this book was that serious personality disorders can afflict transgender people, as they can anyone else. Don't want to revisit the old days when horror/crime movies/books would feature a bad guy dressing up as a woman as part of their fetish. That is not what I am talking abou…

Recently, a hetero cisgender asked me the above question. I remembered questioning my relationship with J. As a hetero cisgender partner to a man who transitioned M2F, his transition caused me to question my own sexual preference. I struggled with societal views and judgments, and wondered how I would be perceived in the relationship if I stayed. I wondered what our sexual relationship would be like on the other side of J's transition. My comment to her question follows based on my own experience. If you are a heterosexual female, and "he" becomes "she" your sex life will change. You may find yourself in a lesbian sexual relationship. Do you wonder, like I did, th…

SO after finally sorting through everything with Nikki, I"M BACK with another one. Today my son came out. Square one, nice to see you, it's been a while. At least this time I'm armed with information and can process this more coherently.

Hi All; I am new to this page. I am hoping for some advice or just your thoughts on this topic. My husband likes pre-op trans. I have no issues with it (watching porn or being pegged). However, he has now asked to have a threesome. I am not into that, but he wants to find someone and have me watch. I want to support him. I do not want him with anyone else, regardless. I don't think its fair of me to not let him explore this side, but I am not sure how I will feel after. I am sure that he will like it and want to continue, how do I handle this situation. Please help!

Hi everyone, I was pondering this question and wanted to hear some oppinions. I know I may get responses like "only you know your wife" but I just would like to hear some guesses or assumptions based on personal experiences or your own oppinions. This isn't my first time putting myself out there online about this sort of problem...it's my second time but my first experience seemed to be filled with negativity. Also a little warning I may need to talk a little about fetishes to give the full story. I guess some background is important: Ever since sophmore year in high school I started to identify as "wanting to be a girl, and a lesbian unfairly put in a man's body", no…

I feel vindicated, because I searched everywhere on the internet looking for a support and/or social cd and spouse freindly (or even just cd friendly by the end of my searching for just him if there was nothing else to be had) within a reasonable distance of us. I looked over every rock, nook and cranny. So when Nikki went to therapy, it came out why I failed, there are none. Doh. HIs therapist said his timing in asking her was interesting because she had been considering starting one because there are not any, and were we interested. Yes we're freakin' interested start the group woman! *I get slightly rabid when I'm frustrated and failed at something* We can't be …

Ok , Now that I have your attention : Lets get down to the nitty , Gritty , and the Dirty of it : Have you used your relationship status as a leverage to maintain control over your SO ? If so Why ? What was the Out come ? What were your true intentions? Why would You expect them to Do such a thing ? What thing did You ask and expect of them? I ask this because in any relationship no matter if it be Hedero , Gay , Bi , or any other type there always seems to be a time when the partner uses tactics to force and issue , idea , or action from them to get their way , have You ever done such a thing or Has Your SO done such a thing , lets talk about it , we all know…

Hello, I'm Anichka. My husband of 26 years is going through the transition from male to female. She is on HRT and has legally changed her name. She wants to have the surgery. She has been out since January of this year, although we have known since January 2014. She told me back then, but I was so devastated that I cried for months so she tried to go back to dressing and acting like a man. I knew it wouldn't work, but I so wanted to believe that it would! So in January 2015 she told me that she just couldn't do it anymore and I told her that she should do whatever it is that she needed to do to be happy. More than anything I want her to be a happy, fulfilled perso…

This is a note from me to you, because I was you, and am slowly transitioning into a new life as Nikki is. I chose to make this work for both of us, but that doesn't mean you will. I think the things I learned will help people get their bearings when they are first starting the path of 'my spouse is gender varient, what do I do". I am not a doctor, just a girl who got hit with this in the middle of her life and has to figure things out as she goes. And...a few things I wanted to hear. These are just my experiences, but I feel like maybe I can help someone else by sharing them. - This is going to reorganize your entire understanding of your marriage. This will touch …

Hello, I'm not really very good at this and am not overly confident in how I'm supposed to start. I'm a 44 year old female who just discovered her husband's gender confusion two weeks ago. He did not tell me, and in fact had actively misled me when I ran into things that made me ask earlier, so it was kind of really confusing for me and traumatic in that he had always insisted on openness and not doing my keeping people out to protect myself, and assured me I had the same. I had the anger phase about why he lied to me about it for so long, especially when I'd approached him in as non-threatening ways as i could, but I let that go as it's not helping anyone. I worked t…

Hi. I'm a bisexual gf to a MtF trans. Our relationship is really new, 2 months, but I really like him/her and hope this becomes a long term relationship. I'm here looking for sport, guidance, advice since I've never been with a transgender person before. Right now, in the town we live in, he is male 100% of the time when in public. In the privacy of his home, he relaxes and let's her true self shine. I'm attracted to him and her. However, I'm having trouble consolidating the two sides. I see him as him and her. Not as one person, but as 2 individuals. I'm afraid to refer to him as her on a regular basis when we're alone because I don't want to get used to it and slip whil…

In this post I would like to start of by having anyone that is transsexual or cissexual and who is willing to participate in my research with the topic of "The Process of Transitioning for Significant Others of Transsexuals" please (1) give me the basic (without names or using fictitious names) description of the type of relationship you are/were involved in, (2) the gender of each partner (trans-partner has pre transition and post transition/gender identified as listed), (3) sexual orientation of both partners (pre and post transition listed if different), (4) years together (pre marriage/civil union and years married/civil" union), (5) whether or not you and your part…

How to be a trans ally: https://medium.com/matter/real-talk-with-trans-people-57b9aa3b91a8 emma

My wife is a natural female and we were married legally as man and women... I am a Trans MTF we would like to renew our vows on our 10 year anniversary. I'd like to this time be dresses in my own Wedding Dress as in our last wedding i had to dress in a male attire because of conditions not needed now. I was asking what people thought because at this point family and friends are aware of the transgender and mostly accepting. I'm a large girl and just afraid of looking nice a 26w. i have found some nice dresses in that size online but now sure how dress places would allow a MTF coming in to try on dresses? Any advice? Thanks Missy

www.transwhat.org is a website: "A Guide Towards Allyship" that provides an easily digestible summary of what transgender means, where it comes from, and what it's not (i.e., misconceptions), and some advice/guidance on being a Trans Ally. A friend sent the URL to me; I think it's very nicely done: http://transwhat.org/confused/

I happened to hear part of this on the local NPR station this afternoon and was fortunate to find it on the web when I returned home. It's from the BBC (I think) and is a married couple, the man who is a crossdresser, his wife finds out, and how they handle it. It's lovely, I think: https://soundcloud.com/thirdcoast/re-sound-182-the-its You can listen to the specific story I'm referring to by clicking on the timeline (the upper portion) until the time readout at the left shows 15:20. It's over at 22:50.

Generaly a wife club for there opinions I am seriously in need of some type of support group for my partner to help her understand more about as to what G.I.D realy is and what it means,

In this post I am really interested in knowing what questions ran through a spouse's mind or that they asked out loud within the first month or two after their spouse came out to them and informed them of their being transgender or transsexual. Rest assure that I can pretty much guarantee you that if you had/have a question them someone else has had it before you and someone else in the future will also have it after you. From the questions that spouses/significant others of transsexuals or a transgender person post as comments to this entry, I will research to find as much information relative to and really do hope I can find the answers to them for you as well as for …