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CharityLynnC... : (16 December 2014 - 01:24 AM) lol
veronicabeta : (15 December 2014 - 10:16 PM) Recalling all the times I cursed "dial up" and was worried the Interweb might have become self aware !
UsernameOpti... : (15 December 2014 - 09:30 PM) Duct tape, bailing wire, bubble gum and a good hammer will usually fix nearly anything!
Lori : (15 December 2014 - 08:43 PM) Sorry about the outage today. We had server problems but banging on it with a hammer seemed to work! ;)
CharityLynnC... : (15 December 2014 - 08:22 PM) what in the world cause this site to be down for a day...lol..tried to get on and got an sql server error..
jennifer38 : (15 December 2014 - 10:56 AM) I plan to hold another conference this Saturday at 3 PM Eastern.  For those who came to the last one, the number and meeting ID are the same.  Anybody who does not have the number and is interested, please message me, as I've been advised to not openly post the number and ID for fear of them falling into the hands of troublemakers.  Also, anytime I bring up religion and The Bible, it is not meant to intimidate or embarrass anyone.  I'm sorry if anyone feels put down, because I have no intentions of doing so.  In spite of my transgender feelings, I have a deep love for Christ, but I respect those who don't believe like I do.  My goal of these telephone chats is simply to create a telephone hang-out for us fellow trans on all levels of the spectrum, and for our allies.  I hope to see you all there.
cross2play : (13 December 2014 - 07:57 PM) I cross dresser 1st time in days & walked on high street as her it was amazingly incredible : cdsing in moderation he he !
PamalaFlinn : (12 December 2014 - 02:56 PM) Jay P . I am in Baltimore sometimes.
MonicaPz : (12 December 2014 - 01:15 PM) Jen, it was great, and I can't wait!
jennifer38 : (12 December 2014 - 01:12 PM) I thank everybody who called into my telephone conference.  It was wonderful.  I feel good about talking to others and hearing their perspectives.  Lord willing, I will hold another one, soon.  The conference number and ID will always be the same.  I will let you all know when I plan to do this, again.  God bless you all.
JayPea25 : (12 December 2014 - 11:50 AM) Anyone in Baltimore!?
veronicabeta : (12 December 2014 - 12:16 AM) Dug the Vid Warren. T.Y.!
Bonnie : (11 December 2014 - 02:45 PM) Fun video, Warren, except for the ending.  The jumping while running hand in hand.  It is good to see a video like this though.  Thank you.
jennifer38 : (11 December 2014 - 11:41 AM) This is a reminder about my telephone conference, tomorrow afternoon at 3 EST.  Come out and enjoy yourself.  This is a general chat about our various transgender feelings and issues.  This is a great way to get to know one another better.  Details are in the calendar.  If you have any questions, please message me.  Hope to see you there, tomorrow.
EmmaSweet : (09 December 2014 - 10:13 PM) Cool, Warren! Good thing they had subtitles. My Japanese is pretty weak!
WarrenG : (09 December 2014 - 08:57 PM) I found this really interesting/adorable homosexual music video and thought I'd share it with you guys and girls ^_^ (i grabbed the one with english subtitles for you XD) https://www.youtube....h?v=xxyA26gJ22E
jennifer38 : (09 December 2014 - 11:08 AM) Here's the number and code for my telephone conference I plan for this Friday, now at 3 PM Eastern.  The number is (605) 562-0020.  The meeting ID is 201-909-465.  This will just be a general hang-out and chat about our transgender issues and feelings.  This will be another time I can be one of the girls, even though I cannot do that in everyday life.  We can just enjoy ourselves and get to know one another through good old-fashion talk.  Hope to see you all there.
jennifer38 : (09 December 2014 - 09:42 AM) I had to change the time of my phone conference.  It's now scheduled for 3 Eastern on Friday, instead of 7.  The rest of the info is the same.  Full details are on the calendar.  Sorry if the time change inconveniences anyone.  If you have questions, please message me.
veronicabeta : (09 December 2014 - 12:04 AM) Shoutbox. Good one. New to the site and the life. Enjoying it so far! :)
PamalaFlinn : (08 December 2014 - 08:18 PM) '' Lay off those pet shop dames , those girls weaken the legs ''  Yo  , Adrian !!!





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The Itty Bitty, Tiny Weeny, Pretty Purple Monkey

Posted by prettyinpink1979 , 02 May 2012 · 318 views

There was once a salesman who went to work one morning to see where he could go to make a sale. He walks into the office and starts studying the map. It isn't long before he spots an area all others previously overlooked. So he gets into his car and heads out for the unknown; he has always been successful so why should this be any different. He gets out in the middle of nowhere and eventually gets lost. As the sun sets he decides to look for a gas station or some other sign of life to seek directions. As dawn turns to night, his fear sets in. To make matters worse his cars stalls; he creeps to the side of the road and turns on his hazard lights. He sits there, thinking about his situation and trying to figure out a solution. He thinks, "well someone will come by, see me and help me". So he waits; one hour turns to two, two to three, and ultimately he realizes he needs to find help on foot. He exits his car and starts walking. It isn't long before he sees a light in the distance and thinks, "great! It's a house and they will have a phone I can call for help with". He gets to the house and knocks on the door. After a few pounds on the door, a small framed and fragile looking farmer opens the door and asked, "can I help you". The salesman explains his situation and asks the farmer if he can borrow a phone to call a tow truck. The farmer says, "I don't have a phone but you're welcome to sleep on the couch until morning and I'll give you a ride to town". The farmer says there is but one condition; he says, "under no circumstances are you to touch the Itty Bitty, Teeny Weeny, Pretty Purple Monkey". So the salesman reluctantly agrees as its now pouring rain and his options are limited. Besides, there is no such thing anyway; the farmer must be old and senile, but probably harmless nonetheless. So the farmer brings out some blankets and a pillow and directs the salesman to the sofa. He then returns to his room via the staircase. The salesman tosses and turns as he cannot help but wonder about this so called, "Itty Bitty, Teeny Weeny, Pretty Purple Monkey". He goes to the farmers bedroom door and knocks; the farmer answers and says, "what is it now?". The salesman says he can't sleep and is overwhelmed with curiosity about this supposed creature and begs the farmer to show him the mythical beast. The farmer reluctantly agrees just he can get some sleep. So they go down stairs after the farmer grabs the keys from the door post. The farmer moves the sofa, rips up the floor boards and they go through the trap door. They come to a snake pit and swing acrossed it by two ropes. They walk a few feet and they come to an alligator pit. The farmer pulls across the rope bridge and they walk across it too. They now come to a red door, followed by a blue door, and then a white door and a green door. They must unlock each door but sure enough, after the last door, they come to a giant cage. In the midst of this giant cage is a little tiny cage, and held within the little tiny cage is an Itty Bitty, Teeny Weeny, Pretty Purple Monkey. The salesman says, "I'll be damned; it does exist". The salesman now satisfied they depart and exit the green door, the white door, the red door and the blue door. They walk across the rope bridge, swing back across the snake pit, go through the trap door and replace the floor boards and carpet. They replace the sofa as well. The farmer goes to his room and salesman lays back down on the couch. The salesman again finds himself unable to sleep as he feels sorry for the little Itty Bitty, Teeny Weeny, Pretty Purple Monkey who is all alone in that cold, dark, and confined cage. He sneaks into the farmers room, steals the keys, and goes back down stairs. He moves the sofa, rips up the floor boards and goes through the trap door. He comes to the snake pit and swings across. He walks a few feet and comes to the alligator pit and pulls across the rope bridge and walks across it too. He goes through the red door, followed by the blue door, and then the white door and the green door. He comes to the giant cage and the little tiny cage, and sees the Itty Bitty, Teeny Weeny, Pretty Purple Monkey. The salesman just barely sticks his finger through the tiny cage and ever so lightly touches but one hair on the Itty Bitty, Teeny Weeny, Pretty Purple Monkey's head and thinks, "yeah, see that's not so bad". All of the sudden the Itty Bitty, Teeny Weeny, Pretty Purple Monkey starts to grow! He's so big now he bursts out of the tiny cage! The salesman, realizing he's in trouble, starts running and screaming! The monkey is now massive and giving chase!!! The salesman goes through the green door, the white door, the red door and the blue door! He runs across the rope bridge over the alligator pit and swings over the snake pit! He leaps through the trap door and throws the floor boards back and the carpet too and launches the coach over the port! He thinks, "whew! That was close!". All of the sudden this no longer Itty Bitty, Teeny Weeny, Pretty Purple Monkey slams up through the floor; it's now 12 feet tall and has snarling fangs and is drooling all over the place! It's beating it's chest and making monstrous noises!!! The salesman screams and heads out the door! The farmer is watching through the window and quietly says, "I told not to touch the Itty Bitty, Teeny Weeny, Pretty Purple Monkeeeeey!". The salesman runs to his car with all he's got and gets in...he tries to start the car but it just won't start! Now this beast is right up on him and it's smashing and thrashing the car, now trapping the salesman inside! The gorilla peels off the top of the car and just barely sticks his finger through while the salesman cowers. The giant monkey barely touches but one hair on the salesman's head and says, "tag; your it"




December 2014

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