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jennifer38's Blog

A blog by jennifer38 in General

  • Entries

    9

  • Comments

    14

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    7,141

About this blog

general talk about my transgender feelings

Entries in this blog

Spilling The Beans Part II

Over the past several days, I've been coming out a little more. Back on 2-22, I told my oldest sister and her fiance. It all started when I mentioned that I feel like several people live in me and at least one of them is a girl. The only reaction I got was when my sister told me not to get the surgery, and she believes Bruce Jenner would not look good as a woman. I told her that I'm not sure where this will lead. I couldn't afford treatment, anyway, and the pain would really make a cry baby

The Thorn

In The Bible, Apostle Paul talks, very vaguely of a thorn that was given to him, a messenger of Satan to buffet him. He never tells us what that thorn was. He does tell us he asks God three times to take it out, but Jesus tells him "my grace is sufficient for you" God told Paul that the strength of God is made perfect in weakness. Paul learned how to use his thorn as a way of keeping himself humble. "so, Jennifer," you may be asking. "How does this relate to you and your being transgen

The Voice Within

Yesterday in my phone conference, Monica and I got on an interesting topic. She told me about this book she read where people would see the image of themselves as the opposite gender when they looked in the mirror. Having never seen, I cannot relate to the visual aspect of that. However, I can imagine things from an auditory standpoint. Through the years, I've noticed that my inner voice sounds higher than my spoken voice. This happens quite subconsciously without me trying to make it happe

I Spilled The Beans In My Friend's Car

Here's another perfect example of how the goings-on in the world highly influence conversation. I knew it would only be a matter of time before I opened up more. Yesterday, on the way home from church, my elderly gentleman friend who drives me to and from church happened to mention Bruce Jenner. Keep in mind that the lid on the bean container, metaphorically speaking, of course, has been loose for quite some time. Mentioning the transitioning star tipped over the container and.... You know

I Don't Look It, I Don't Sound It, But I Sure Feel It

As I come out among other fellow trans people, I'm finding out just how large the "umbrella" really is. There's such a wide variety. I used to think you had to have hormones and surgery in order to be transgender, but I know that's not the case, necessarily. Everybody's different. I'm too poor to afford hormones and surgery, and I don't like pain. I do not cross dress, and I'm not criticizing anybody who does. If you saw me, you'd see a perfectly masculine body, and my voice is likewise ma

The Checklist

I have this thing for acronyms made out of names. Here's one for my transgender name. I only added the number on my user name to differentiate from others named Jennifer. J is for just. I want to be a just and fair person like Jesus was and still is. I aim to follow the golden rule: do unto others as you would have them do for you. The first E stands for encouraging. I want to encourage--not force--people to accept the unconditional love of Christ and the reason he bled and died f

the early years

I discovered my inner girl around age 4 or 5. I vaguely remember wanting to wear my oldest sister's clip-on earrings, and my mom actually put them on me. I walked around with them on for a little while. Then, I think it was me who asked to have them taken off. A year or so later, I can recall walking, for a short spell, in my mom's high heels. Also, around that time, I did this goofy thing where I'd call myself by the name of various female neighbors. That would later evolve into havin

transgender spectrum

Over the years, from hearing about other trans people and examining my own self, I have concluded that just like autism, transgenderism has various levels. I am not sure how I would classify mid-level transgenderism, but I can clearly see both ends of the spectrum. This morning, I watched a YouTube video Emma shared with me. The link is as follows: I saw that those children are an example of the high end of the spectrum, even at a very early age. I, on the other hand, am on the low en

first try at blogging

All right!!! I think I'm getting it now. Thanks, Emma. Jenny's blog is up and running. I am very grateful I found this place where I can escape my manhood and be one of the girls a while. I am just going to write random thoughts, whatever is pressing on my mind at the time. Since I'm new at this site, I will allow my first entry to be a sort of intro. In the real world, I am a man, but I've always felt like a girl on the inside, and I'm deathly afraid to tell my family and church members

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