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On Being...Me

A blog by Chrissy in General

  • Entries

    106

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    379

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    45,576

Entries in this blog

"I am Cait" - episode 3

I didn't think this would become a weekly thing, going in I assumed I would get tired of the show pretty quickly (being on E and all), but no, I'm not.  The show really is getting better and better each week, and my respect for Caitlyn grows with it (she is exec producer, so nothing happening on the show is happening without her). This week they spent more time with the less fortunate trans people in San Francisco, and Caitlyn seemed sincerely moved and in fact did a couple of really great thing

Bottom Surgery!!!

As I mentioned in my last posting, I had a consultation in Philadelphia on Monday about bottom surgery - it went very well, I liked the surgeon a lot and liked the work that she showed me.  So I'm scheduled for December 27 :-) I had anticipated waiting until spring because of school, but classes finish in the fall on December 23, and there's over a month before spring classes, so this worked out, and financially it's VERY helpful as it lets me get this under my current insurance, and in the same

Another week done...

Just some random thoughts as another week comes to an end and I get ready for a 4-day weekend (YAY!) I mentioned in an earlier post that this week I finally wore shoes (2 days) that are clearly women's.  This was also the first week that I've gone 100% in female clothing.  I'm still getting more "sirs" than I'd like, and someone yesterday commented on what I was wearing saying "I respect a man who can wear pink."  Those things all make me wonder "what more do I have to do!?!?" Well, that's my we

Mon anniversaire

Bonjour toute le monde! As it's passed midnight it's now officially my birthday - 49 years old today (really at 12:39 pm). In prior years i've swung between not wanting to think about it being my birthday, to putting too much emphasis and really wanting to celebrate (which never worked our as planned).  This year I feel content with doing whatever comes up and otherwise doing some introspection and planning.  I might go down to the shore (the "beach" for those of you not from New Jersey). I went

Background....

I've been wanting to do this for my own purposes anyway, but since I have a blog now I should use it! In exploring my gender I've thought a lot about the past and anything that might have been an indicator of what I really was (am!). The earliest item is my very first best friend (only friend for awhile) - Missy (totally ironic that I now use that name for my drag name). I'm not even sure when we became friends, we were both younger than 5 years old though. She lived down the street from

Happy Holidays!

Hi all, It's been a busy few weeks so I haven't had a chance to read or write here - I hope everyone is having a nice holiday season! My year is ending on a nice flourish.  First, I went back to Social Security with my new doctor's note and they've now corrected my gender in their records - and the woman I dealt with was extremely nice - possibly because she knows that what happened last time was so wrong.  She also referred to me as "ma'am" several times I got my new birth certificate the same

Now for something non-Cait

Hello all, This past weekend I spent a lot of time out at the National Tennis Center in Queens, NY (where the US Open is played). The LGBT tennis group I belong to was hosting the Atlantic Cup (which is a team competition between our group and groups from Boston, Philadelphia, and Washington, DC).  Although a shoulder injury keeps me from playing right now I went out to help and to stay in contact with the group (I've been a member for about 4 years, there are so many wonderful people there!). I

HRT Update

Hi all, I just had my endocrinologist appointment - my testosterone level is at 170 now - yay!!!  Typical male level is 270-1200, female level is up to the 60s or so - so I'm in "No Man's and No Woman's Land" currently - but it's progress! I think the nicest part of the appointment was when he said he wished everyone who came to see him was like me - in this case meaning that he has no qualms about what I'm doing and giving me the HRT prescription, so that was nice to hear :-) He did say I need

Reflection on the past year

Hi everyone, I recently finished my first year of school (I'm doing the 2-year MSW program at NYU) and decided that I needed a little get-away (emphasis on "little" - I don't really like traveling all that much, and can't afford much). So I decided on a day trip to the shore - my goal going into the day was to not think backwards or forward, just to try to be in the present. Of course, as I mentioned to a friend later, it was a little weird that I chose to go to a place that we used to go to all

My journey...update

Hi everyone, Happy Friday!!! Some follow-up from last week, there was one friend I hadn't heard from after I emailed him last week, I wasn't too worried, but I admit I was a little worried (he doesn't live nearby, so i don't get to see him in person as much). Anyway, I texted him yesterday to see if he had gotten the email, he hadn't (some problem accessing his Yahoo email). He now has seen it and was as supportive and I expected (before getting pointlessly worried because of not getting

Good morning! 1 more week, and some fear...

Good morning everyone! For those of you noticing that I don't have a pic (which hopefully won't be the case by the time most people notice), I tried to change it over the weekend, but for various tech reasons wasn't able to. Anyway. The 1 more week in my subject line refers to 1 more week at work in which I'll generally be presenting as male (a male who wears mascara, lip gloss, and JLo jeans on Fridays, but a male). Next week we go into exam period and then summer, so I plan to shift my

Evolution Journal

Hi everyone, This started as a journal entry for myself, but I decided that it would be better to put out in the “public” instead. My summer classes ended on July 11, and the fall semester doesn’t start until the end of August – leaving a “void” of about a month and a half (I had hoped to find work to fill in that time, but that didn’t happen). Before it started I had been at times excited about the “void,” and at times terrified – and for the same reason. I knew that this would be a good time

Transition Anniversary

Hi all, I just wanted to do a quick post, yesterday was "officially" my 2 year anniversary of transitioning. I arguably started before that, but August 10, 2015 is when I began "presenting full-time" as a woman, and I haven't looked back :-)  It was shortly (like days) after that I started on HRT.  It's also now been almost a year since my breast augmentation surgery. When I look back, especially in the approach to my GCS (in December last year) I remember thinking about whether or not I would r

Electrolysis and ....

I just made an appointment for electrolysis - yay!  The part that hurt the most was that she said I'd need to let the hair grow out a little (she said enough so that she can get it with a tweezer).  For me that will take a couple of days, I hate that idea but I guess it's worthwhile for the ultimate gain (or loss). Also contacted my doctor for a referral for an endocronologist (not sure how you spell that) - another yay! Have done both of those things I'm trying to read my feelings - at first it

Updates - coming out, and orientation epiphany!

Happy Friday everyone! I made several fairly significant steps this week.  In terms of "presentation" there was only one day that I was wearing typically male clothing (and the reason for that has now passed, so it doesn't need to happen again).  In addition to the mascara and lip gloss that I was already doing, I wore nail polish all week (including a very noticeable red on Wednesday).  And I'm getting better at curling my hair to match what the hair stylist did, so my hair style is decidedly m

Woke up with doubts...but...

Good morning everyone, Before I get to the main point, I have an anecdote from last week (I share this with a couple of people already) - I was going to be hanging out with my friend Mindy on Friday night, so at lunchtime I went to get some wine (to go with the nachos we were planning).  When I was at the store I heard the clerk say to me (I wasn't facing him at that moment, but I was the only customer in the store), "If you need any help maam just ask." I woke up ridiculously early today sudden

Surgery

Last Thursday I went to Albany, NY for a surgery consultation (Surgeon who does breast augmentation + surgeon who works with transgender patients + takes my insurance = go to Albany).  The surgery won't happen until August, I have to be on HRT for a full year before insurance will cover it (they'll cover it if I'm "not comfortable with the growth that occurs after a year on HRT"), so it's tentatively scheduled for August 12. I got the basics down - it's an outpatient procedure that will take abo

Transgender "Community"

This is a topic I've been thinking about a lot, and have been wanting to write something about - so here goes!!! It's the concept of a transgender "community" - does it exist?  Should it exist? It came up during the support group that I facilitate on Saturdays, so I thought it might be time to look at the issue myself a little more deeply - and see what others think :-) In 2 separate contexts I was told by people - who knew I was in the process of transitioning - that they knew trans people who

Happenings and such

Happy Monday everyone! I had my latest endocrinologist appointment last Thursday and he increased my estrogen prescription (to 2 mg from 1 mg), so that was exciting :-) We're having a reception at work this Thursday for someone who just made a large donation to the school ($5 million), which I'll be working at/attending.  So I realized that I needed to get something to wear - something a little dressier than what I have.  That lead to a trip to Kohl's where I found a dress, but I wasn't entirely

New path

Hi all, It's been awhile since I've been able to write - very busy at work, and outside of work (the outside part is all good, but tiring). In a prior post I wrote about an "exit strategy" from my current job, and that point has advanced substantially.  Several weeks ago I had breakfast with my electrologist (her appointment after me had cancelled). I was telling her about my job issues and half-jokingly asked if she knew anyone who was hiring. She replied that I was asking the wrong question, a

Thanksgiving

Hi all, Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I'm not sure, since I haven't written lately, if I mentioned writing to my brother a few weeks ago about my transition (we don't speak often, so calling about it felt weird).  Anyway, he's not the most progressive thinking person, so I didn't know how he's react - and it had been a couple of weeks, so... He called me tonight.  He admitted to not understanding it (but heck, I don't either), but he said he's not going to judge and he is supportive He had some

Silly people in the street

As I walked home today, I was behind a person who ran into someone he knows and said - quite loud - "men trying to become women, that [bleep] burns me up."  He was ahead of me, so I don't know if it was directed at me (he may have turned and noticed). Anyway, I didn't confront him (I don't make a habit of confronting random idiots on the street, seems like a wise course), but my thought was "well that's not right, i'm not a man trying to become a woman, i'm a woman no longer trying to be a man."

Some thoughts on depression as I get ready to move on

Good morning wonderful people of TGGuide! Today I have an appointment with my endocrinologist to get blood work, etc. done in preparation for HRT.  I haven't gotten the letter from my therapist yet, but it is being prepared, and she had me complete a consent form so that she can send it to the endocrinologist as soon as it's ready.  I also have an August 6 appointment with the endocrinologist, which may be (hopefully!) the day I get the prescription. All that is just to lead in to some thoughts

Hello Gorgeous, and more

Hi all, a couple of quick recent anecdotes... 1. On my way to therapy the other day a random guy on the street (a contractor I believe, waiting outside a building) said "hello gorgeous" to me as I passed   I smiled at him, said hello and carried on. The downside is that it put me in a really good mood ... on my way to therapy!!! That doesn't help   2. I may have met someone the other night when I was out ... well, I definitely met someone, but it could be "someone" - I may know more tomorrow, we

Memorial Service - coming out

Hi everyone, So last weekend was the memorial service for my uncle who passed away in January - everyone was so spread out they delayed it to find a convenient time for as many people as possible. His passing was of course sad, but he was older and hadn't been in good health (mentally or physically) for quite some time. The point of this entry is the fact that this is the first time I've seen many family members since I transitioned. About 10-12 people knew (the most direct of my relatives - my

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