My next plan going be to change the name legally and i send off for paperwork to get that all in order. my birth state is one lucky one where they will correct the sex marker with letter from doctor so that going be taken care of easier than i thinking. I want get everthing done in order so i will have sex marker changed and then file for the name change and then get driver license again. My plan for next year will be just finish SRS since it is covered under my health insurance so far. I hope there won't be problem in US with the senate that going make this harder for me accomplishing.
I start to attend a local group meeting for other transgender that have been helpful just to see other who going through same situation. That something that you can't get online, a sense of community so i have thankful to get meet some new people. Some people I have ran into lately have had no problem with use right pronouns and name. I love when that happens but then there are the few who want to remain a challenge and talk about things in a negative light. I choose more to be around those who making me feel good instead of those who just make me terrible.
Dressing correct still pose challenge, it just difficult and i not used to it or the reactions. i buyed a few more dresses and blouse that i been trying to mix in. All this things really do matter. I think what i find interesting about the gender idenity is that the more i going with and choose to be who i really am, the harder it is to try to be who im not and the happier i am overall. coming from position where i never would have believe this would make me happy, it take a lot of courage and self examine to real know who i am and let go of the delusion of what i wish i am. i think that an important thing to unerstand that with transgender who is buried in the false indenity it is impossible to be happy because you are not being who you really are, but what you think others want you to be or for me, the easy route that going be most socially acceptable.
So that why it take a lot of courage to be youself and keep your head up. Each day seem present all this challenges, but the hormones have lit my life up with purpose and genuinely more happy than ive ever been. being able see a positive outcome out of all this makes each day better. and wear makeup actually fun. i dont have to pretend i dont like things i really do like anymore and that make all the difference. hope everone have a great day!