Hi Christie,

It's really crap like that at the begining, I had thoughts male and female alternately coming and going like the turn of the tide. It does get easier later, believe me. It really helps if you have started hormone treatment, especially Testosterone blockers of one sort or another, that really seems like pouring oil on troubled waters. But even then you still have to be brave enough, as you have been, to go out en femme. After a month or so of gradually pushing your envelope you'll just start to feel like yourself and dressing fenmale will be irrellevant, but still enjoyable. You will not end up as a freak, you have already showed how determined you are to become a woman, you'll get there.

Did I say before now "Believe in yourself", "believe you can or believe you can't, either way you're right"? Let that be your mantra.

Yes you'll probably lose some friends, but ask yourself were they really friends? but you will gain some new friends too and they'll be amazing.

Be careful with make-up don't go over the top with it, try to keep it low key until you have gained confidence after 4 months or so, in short don't attract attention to yourself when out in general public, unless you are amazing good looking with a beau shapely femme figure..............like the one I wish I had! LoL

Good Luck with your Transition Plan,

Eve oxo !!

Thank you for this!  I think you have used that quote before, but I'm glad you said it again, it really is a great mantra!

I also noticed today that when I think about being "male" again it's always "going back," which means thinking as a female is becoming my norm  

Keywords to me are; scary, reality and overcome. 

Take it from me (yeah here goes Karen yakking again), I know that when first starting out that these things are true and at some point we all consider these components to go on and on and on and on. But one day you will wake up just like any other day doing "it" right until that one day it's second nature and others "just getting" just like you without realizing "it". That day someone is going to say things like "you are so beautiful" or "I can't even imagine you as your former self (yeah they will avoid the "M" word, male" 

There will be a moment when you realize that you can't imagine yourself as a male too and this carries through to others and those who don't know the former you will never have to second guess because you are you, female woo-hoo. And it goes on from there.

Best wishes on your journey