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Gender Identity Exploration



Hi all,

Well, since last I wrote I have become unemployed – YAY!  It was by choice, I had been planning on going back to school part-time when my employer offered a reasonably generous “buy out” package, so I took it – this way I can go back to school full-time and finish in 2 years instead of 3 (I’ll be attending NYU in the fall, going for a Masters in Social Work).

So for the next 2 months, until Orientation on August 31, I am completely free. What I hadn’t considered was the “identity crisis” that would create – let’s face it, most people identify by their job, and I currently have none, and although I’m registered for classes, I haven’t really started being a student yet either.

That brings me to the main point of this entry!!! As I mentioned in an earlier post, I now have GRS (or SRS if you prefer) scheduled for December 27. Because this is sooner than we had been discussing, my therapist asked if we could start meeting twice a week for a while – she’s (hopefully) writing one of the letters I’ll need, so she wants to make sure we cover what needs to be covered. I’m fine with that – I have the time, I like her, and I think it’s important work (I don’t like the fact that the WPATH standards call for more than informed consent for surgery, but I still think it’s important to make sure you know what you’re getting into.

As a starting point, I started a “list” of things that I think I should be aware of, considering, etc., in connection with GRS – I wanted to post that here and seek feedback – either additional items for the list, comments on the things I listed, whatever – and hopefully this can be of some help to others who are planning or even thinking about GRS J

So here’s my list – just bullet-point form, for now without any details on my thoughts - and in no particular order:

·         How will peeing be different?

·         How will orgasms be different?

·         Clothing will fit different

·         I will feel more completely – fully a woman

·         I’ve had a penis all my life – is it possible I’d miss it?

·         What will care and “maintenance” be like?

·         Are there new health issues to be concerned about?  And are any health concerns being eliminated?

·         There’s no going back = unlike other parts of transitioning which are, more or less “reversible”

·         I probably have a better chance at a relationship as a gay man than as a straight woman – and this removes being able to “present” as a gay man

·         Could I handle regret if it lasted long-term?

And I really, really want to emphasize that these are literally any thought or question I could think of – some of them seem more important to me, some of them barely register in terms of importance, but I think it’s necessary to address everything that you can think of. At this risk of sounding prematurely defensive, I say that just to preclude anyone from saying that “if X is really important you shouldn’t proceed with the surgery!”


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Thank you so much for your feedback, so sweet 👯💞

I don't think actual regret will be an issue, maybe just some moments of "what the f*** did I just do!?" But I know it will pass 😎



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Hi Christine, I guess there are are always pro's and con's in any situation. One suggestion given to me was to take two similar chairs, sit in one and go through all the positives and negatives of re-assignment. Then sit in the other chair and go through all the positives and negatives of staying where you are. Continue until one chair feels more comfortable than the other. Hope you find the right choice. Love and best wishes from Chantel.

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