OK, so I didn't mention that when this all started a few days ago, my eating habits immediately changed with absolutely no conscious effort of my own. I didn't eat at all the first day or two, and the meals I ate were very light and I just automatically ate how a woman would eat...I swear, as hungry as I was, I went straight for the Strawberry Romaine salad! I do need to work on my figure but I am not intentionally trying to deprive myself....it's just happening on its own!
Today when I woke up to go to work, I felt totally strange putting on men's clothes and men's shoes. I put it all on in disgust. I felt like, "This is not who I am...I am just pretending to be a man." What the heck? Where did this all come from? I still haven't even worn a pair of heels!....oh, but I can't wait to get my first pair.
I am trying to go about this one step at a time but its all hitting me at once. I want to change everything but there's just no time to do it all in one day.
So here I am at work, my voice is softer, my mannerisms are different, and the way I hold my self and my non-verbal expressions, are all different now. No one has said anything, but I wonder if people will be talking.
Anyways, I like the fact that all of these feelings have just come so naturally. I know I am headed on the path to being my true self, it's just going to take a lot of time and effort.
Somehow, with all of this, I feel much more confident and comfortable because I am being true to myself.
I did a lot of web surfing before work. I went on youtube and was trying to find advice on makeup, hairstyles, voice control, and mannerisms. I found Princess Joules...she is amazing! There is so much to learn from her just by listening to her and watching her, despite the great advice she gives. I only got to see a couple of her videos but she has a ton of them on youtube. I will be studying her diligently. I also found a really cool transgender starter kit at suddenlyfem.com, which I plan on getting really soon!
I was hoping to get some feedback from my first blog entry, but I was sad to find out that I didn't. I would love to hear from some of you!