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Trial and error, this is going to take time.

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“For the things we have to learn before we can do them, we learn by doing them.” Aristotle,

When great people say or do great things, people take notice, they listen, watch and learn. In our own lives, we want others to think great things about us. I used to enjoy scoring the winning goal in a dogged match, gaining a promotion at work, helping a friend in need.

A simple idea in principle but one that has now taken on a new meaning in my own life. Once it was enough to accept a pat on the back for a job well done or the smile of a friend who was in anguish only to be healed by your kind words or actions. I have a new challenge and one that I have little, if any, experience in. I have to act like a woman, and I need others to think of me as feminine in the future. There is so much that has changed within my mind over the last months and years but now the real hard work begins.

Practicing my walking had a most unwelcome outcome the other day, never before has putting ones foot before the other been so much hard work. Small steps at first, noticing my hips swinging a little and my arms doing a ridiculous flowing motion, like a hippy portraying a roller-coaster in charades. I felt it though, the smile was back, I felt free from societies shackles. I probably looked like a complete fool, but none the wiser I trotted my way into a faster pace, always over confident and ambitious…splat! Over I went in a spectacular fall from grace. Luckily for me a well placed railing came to my rescue and after having a little look around at who may have seen my stumble, there was only two elderly ladies waiting at a near by bus stop. Not sure they saw but was glad to not be more embarrassed.

As I grow and learn the techniques needed to convince others of my feminine charms a better person should be more evident, friendlier, less aggressive and hopefully more appealing. One aspect that has become apparent right from the outset is I do not feel the need to push my views on others as I normally do. I allow others to speak first, listen more closely before judging their stance and generally have a better conversation. This is all positive in not only my journey to womanhood but in social situations as a whole. I feel people are more drawn to me, gone is this arrogant, controlling and obnoxious man. Liberty and self awareness now fuels me instead of a sticky mud that kept me back from the truth.

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