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The Thorn



In The Bible, Apostle Paul talks, very vaguely of a thorn that was given to him, a messenger of Satan to buffet him. He never tells us what that thorn was. He does tell us he asks God three times to take it out, but Jesus tells him "my grace is sufficient for you" God told Paul that the strength of God is made perfect in weakness. Paul learned how to use his thorn as a way of keeping himself humble.

"so, Jennifer," you may be asking. "How does this relate to you and your being transgender?" Well, this feeling of being transgender seems to bother me if I let it do so. I feel shame for feeling opposite of what my fleshly gender is, and I have begged and pleaded with God for years to take it from me. The more I beg, the deeper the thorn slices into me. Then, it suddenly occurs to me that this could very well be God's unique way to draw me closer to Him and learn submission. Paul learned to delight in infirmities, rather than feel sorry for himself. He accepted the strength of God being perfected in Paul's weakness. God strengthens me in my weakness, as well. I find that my being transgender actually draws me closer to Him.

Here's how this works. God has three manifestations: Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. I am created in His image, and I have three manifestations: body, soul, and spirit. Here's how I break this down. My body is masculine, and I assume my male name and functions. Jesus calls Himself the "bridegroom." He is going to marry His church, His body of redeemed believers, and I am one of them. Since he is after our soul and spirit, and since our earthly bodies are temples that house our soul and spirit, then I let the inner me assume the female role. My soul is a woman named Jennifer who is engaged to be married to Jesus when he comes and takes His bride home. My spirit is Jennifer already joined to God via the Holy Ghost who leads me.

I know the above was really deep, and there's a lot to digest, but I will do my best to sum it up for you. My flesh is undeniably masculine, and my inner woman is represented by my soul that is being redeemed and being made ready for that eternal marriage in heaven, and my spirit, that innermost part of me rejoices in her husband. My "Jennifer self" knows of no greater man than Jesus Christ who died on the cross, not just for her, but for all, and those of us who accept redemption from our sinful nature can enjoy eternal life with Him, for we, the saved, as a result of being born again, will live in a perfect world without end and without problems of any kind, and our flesh will no longer hurt us, for we will have perfect bodies. To sum it up even more, my inner woman is spoken for. Jesus is the right man for me. He's the only husband I'll ever need. That truly is a unique way God has me think of the transgender part of my existence. I think I smell roses.


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