sueshyshy added a blog entry in sueshyshy's BlogThe Soft SideHello to you dear reader and, I hope, after reading my blog you will consider me a friend or at the very least a fellow traveller. Let me begin by telling you why I decided to call my blog 'The Soft Side' I suppose it seems self evident that the soft side I am talking about is the feminine part of my personality which needs to be expressed, and to an extent you would be correct, the soft side is certainly that part which I cherish because I can associate it with the inner woman however, it is also masculine. This my seem confusing but let me try to explain. For many years I believed I was a woman trapped in a mans body and it seemed logical that to correct this biological mistake I should move towards transforming my body to that of a female.
I embarked on my journey with hormones and quickly became aware of the ways I was being transformed, the physical softening and shaping was wonderful but the mental changes I found more profound. By suppressing my testosterone levels and flooding my body with female hormones I found I had to deal with a confusion of emotions, the fact that tears came easier, that rather than aggression I found I acted in a more introverted, contemplative way. Ultimately I think I began to question my actions rather than stride toward my goals with masculine indifference to the consequences of what I did. I became aware of the feelings of other people.I learnt how influential hormones were on my feelings and my actions. For the first time in my life I could genuinely understand what it is to be a woman.
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