SandCastle

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About SandCastle

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  • Birthday October 29

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SandCastle's Activity

  1. SandCastle added a post in a topic: Hello , I am a Significant Other .   

    Hi Jett,

    Welcome! You will learn a lot here. I too am an SO and have not been disrespected at all here. This is a great place, even though there aren't many of us here. The insight from the blogs alone is amazing!

    Sandi
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  2. SandCastle added a post in a topic: Warren Beatty & Annette Bening's Transgender Son Speaks Out About Leelah Alcorn   

    Here is an interesting article. I've always thought that "some parents" should be required to have a license before having kids.

    http://www.people.com/article/stephen-ira-warren-beatty-annette-bening-transgender-son?xid=socialflow_facebook_peoplemag
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  3. SandCastle added a comment on a blog entry: An SO's (GG) Journey, The Other Side   

    I need to clarify something about an issue for him hiding it wasn't because he was afraid I'd leave. That did not factor into his reason for hiding it is all, he just wouldn't want me to stay in the relationship if I wasn't happy.
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  4. SandCastle added a blog entry in SandCastle's Blog   

    An SO's (GG) Journey, The Other Side
    It has been suggested that I start a blog, to hopefully help others that are going through what I have already, and what is a continuing journey, and for support for me, and my relationship. So here goes!

    I have been married, for the second time, over 16 years. About 10 years into this marriage I found out, in an email, that my husband had another side to him that I never, ever had a clue about. In the email he gave several websites for me to go look at and read about who is was. He is a cross dresser.

    I responded a lot with the typical responses, "Do you want to be a woman"?, "Do you want to be with a man"? "Do you still want to be married to me"?, along with many other questions and concerns. I also asked him why he didn't tell me about this before we married. He said it wasn't an issue then. I felt the normal betrayal and felt like I should have been given a choice to marry into this or not. I understand the fear of telling anyone, the fears of rejection, criticism, even abandonment. I recently found out that he wasn't afraid of me leaving at all, and that if I wasn't happy I should leave.

    At first it was the "feel" of panties that he liked, said he did not need to fully dress, no makeup, wig, etc, just liked to wear panties, maybe go out dressed as a sexy nurse for Halloween sometime. With the suggestion of several sites and my therapist (that I was seeing due to another issue of trust between us), and himself, we set simple boundaries. No ruffles, or bows or really frilly panties, and definitely never in the bedroom. Then came the pushing of those boundaries to include frillier and frillier panties. I didn't like that the boundaries were pushed, but still none in the bedroom so that is where things stayed until about 6 mos ago.

    I will continue with the last 6 months in another blog, out of respect for him/her, as my husband is on this site and he is telling his story in his own blog.

    The hardest part of this for me for a long time was not being told before marriage. In my younger days I hung out with gay guys alot because they were safe for me. I even helped a dear friend go "out" for his first time, and he hit on the wrong person, and then said no, and ended up dead behind the bar that very night. So my main issue with this now is fear, fear for him/her when we go out with him'her being dressed. I'm a worrier anyway, and this is tenfold.

    I just wish he/she could see that everything I do, I do for him/her. I'm not criticizing him/her, or trying to tear him/her down at all. Do I wish he didn't have to dress ever, yes, do I think he can, no. I don't want him/her to hide anything from me. I can be accepting. We all have this life we picture, but not all of what we fantasize is reality, I just want us to be happy with what we do have now, whether he's in guy mode or girl mode.

    I welcome any comments, good or bad.

    Thank you for reading,
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  5. SandCastle added a post in a topic: TG m2f partners support on here is there one?   

    GreenShade, I have felt every feeling you've described and more, also still do sometimes. Always afraid to ask a question, because it's taken as I'm not being supportive, etc., when I'm just looking for reassurance/guidance. I do feel very alone in my search for support, it seems most sites I have found for SO's, a lot of bashing towards our partners happens, and I don't want that.

    Thank you.

    Sandi
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  6. SandCastle added a post in a topic: Hello , I am a Significant Other .   

    Hello,

    My husband is a cross dresser also on this site. Found out about 10 years into our marriage. I am supportive, but need help dealing with some of this, especially the rapid escalation. I do love him deeply, and want to make this work for both of us.

    Thank you for accepting me on this site.

    Sandi
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