Jump to content
Transgender Guide Message Board


  • Content count

  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won


Posts posted by Chrissy

  1. I'd suspect that not many stores are trans-unfriendly by policy, it depends more on whether they specifically have non-discrimination policies and enforce them from store to store.

    I've been to a VS in Jersey City and had no issues - don't buy much there because of prices :-(

    I've never encountered any direct hostility at any clothing stores, which is nice. Mist of my shopping is @ Kohl's and Loft, both of which are totally friendly :-)

    • Like 2

  2. Hi all,

    I've probably mentioned her in blog posts, but I thought I should do a post here under recommendations - particularly now that I'm 6 months past my own GRS (6 months!!!!).

    Anyway - I had my surgery done by Dr. Kathy Rumer in Philadelphia (her office is in Ardmore, PA, a suburb of Philly, she does the surgery at Hahnemann University Hospital). I don't know how long she's been doing this but clearly she is very experienced. She also recently started a transgender health fellowship at Hahnemann (the hospital is affiliated with Drexel University in Philly).

    With only a couple of issues, my experience with her and her staff has been really good. The most important part, the surgery, went without incident. Apparently it took about 3 hours in total (maybe less - it's hard to tell since it takes a couple of hours to reorient from being under that long). But it was quick, and the work is really good, I'm very happy with the appearance.

    They asked me before we started if they could contact anyone for me when it's done, so I gave them my brother's number and they did reach out to him right after the surgery was completed (I called a little while later, when I was reoriented). I think he actually thought it was Dr. Rumer who called him, he hasn't worked with surgeons so much :-)  It recently occurred to me that I've probably only been awake in a room with Dr. Rumer herself for about 15 minutes - 10 minutes the first time I went to her office, then maybe 5 minutes in the OR. Otherwise it's always been her staff.

    Tomorrow is my 6-month check-up, which will be the 4th since surgery (they happened at 1 week, 1 month, and 3 months - the 3 months one I just sent pics and we talked on the phone). I'll have one more at 1 year, then I assume others only if needed. The staff has been great every time - and I realized after the fact that I'm glad her entire staff is female. When you're actually in the chair getting checked, it's a pretty vulnerable, exposed feeling, so I feel better that it's women doing the checking (really only 1 woman doing the checking, but another in the room with us). I'm not sure how I'd feel about a man doing that.

    I mentioned earlier that I had just a couple of issues: (1) they lost my "reservation" for a hospitality room at their office (she has several rooms upstairs that are available for the first week after surgery). In November I found out that I didn't have a room.  On the plus side, the hotel was very near the hospital and they had a deal with the hospital, so I didn't spend much more than I would have with the hospitality room, and it was probably a nicer room (being at a hotel) which was important since I was pretty much stuck there for a solid week. The other issue was (2) the "bed" in the hospital, where I had to stay for 2 solid days after the surgery (no getting up at all) was a glorified cot - I didn't really feel much pain from surgery, but my butt was seriously hurting from the bed (I think most of my morphine use was to compensate for that). That one is on the hospital, and I did report it to Dr. Rumer's office.

    So that's my experience - one of the reasons I went with her was that she is under contract with Cigna, which was my insurance at the time. But I have been really happy with her and her staff overall. For one thing, in the many times I emailed in the first couple of months after surgery (when you're sure that every little tingling sensation is something horrible happening), they were very quick and very friendly in responding, including over the weekend.

    • Like 5

  3. Victory! TLDEF Reaches Settlement in Landmark Federal Lawsuit Against South Carolina Department of Motor Vehicles on Behalf of Transgender Teen Forced to Remove Makeup for Driver’s License Photo


    SC DMV Agrees to Allow Chase Culpepper to Retake Her License Photo Wearing Makeup, Apologize, and Change Policy to Ensure that Transgender and Gender Nonconforming People Will Be Treated Fairly and Respectfully


    • Like 3

  4. I read through some of that exchange just now. I know there are strong feelings about this since it involves by definition criminals (at least people who have been convicted of crimes).

    My own sense is that there needs to be reasonable standards applied, if someone is diagnosed with Gender Dysphoria then treatment should be provided. The fact that they are then getting something that some people on the outside can't get just says to me that we need to work on what's going on outside (and I fully support socialized medicine, I think it's the only current alternative that would truly make the most efficient use of medical resources).

    As far as the cost to the prison system, I don't think that should be a consideration. If we, as a society, decide to lock up so many people then we have to be ready to pay for it, we can't go cheap and end up punishing people even more than they should be. But that also goes to my view that prison is about incapacitation, keeping dangerous people away from the rest of us, it shouldn't be used to inflict additional punishment in itself (I think being locked in a building that you can't leave is sufficient punishment). But I know I'm not in the mainstream (of general society, I'm not speaking about the TGGuide community) in not wanting to inflict pain on everyone who has committed a crime.

    Just my thoughts :rolleyes:

    • Like 2

  5. I'm actually leaning more towards the use of trans* as an umbrella term. The way I learned it (and granted if you look at different sources you'll see different definitions), transgender was the umbrella term and transsexual was the term specifically for people who were born anatomically the opposite gender of what they know they are.

    The problem then with using "transgender" as an umbrella term is that it doesn't leave a term specifically for those who identify as the opposite gender from what they were born, but don't believe that they were born the wrong gender (so, for example, someone who is born a man, and feels that he is a man, but identifies as female in terms of gender).

    Wow this gets confusing.

    • Like 1

  6. Emma,

    You should never question what you're writing! (Ok, "never" might be strong, but you know what I mean.) Though I've done it myself, I usually push through and decide to throw it out there and see what happens :)

    And yes, the CD event lost it's appeal - in part because I know that several of the people who attend regularly are straight men who are not transgender, they just occasionally enjoy cross-dressing (I'm not criticizing that, that's just to show the lack of things we have in common - and they've been doing it for quite awhile, so it's more likely they aren't just transitioning).


    P.S. I love your quotes - especially Eleanor Roosevelt, that has always been an inspiring quote for me.

    • Like 2

  7. Hi all,

    Now that I have a few minutes I wanted to write a more extended take on the "cross-dressing" topic. As I mentioned earlier, I started my own journey through cross-dressing (I think I went on in more detail about that in another thread), but I now think that I've moved beyond that. Last week when I "merged" my wardrobe, I did have one section that I still initially thought of as cross-dressing, as it included articles of clothing that I wouldn't yet wear out in public unless I was fully cross-dressed (skirts and dresses primarily).

    After my chat with my friend this weekend (when I "came out" to her as transgender) I was thinking about the division again and realized that I thought about it in my head as "drag" clothes and not cross-dressing clothes. That might reflect the fact that I agree with the original point in this thread that if you're transgender it's no longer cross-dressing. (And I actually occasionally do drag, so it wasn't a matter of using a different term, they are currently for that purpose.) There may come a time when I'll wear even these items in public, without fully cross-dressing, but for now...I also think that for now I'm going to give up on the cross-dressing group that I used to attend - it was fun, but I'd rather focus on merging more (and I can still go full out when i'm doing drag, which I'm doing again next week).

    I did take some "bolder" steps this weekend - when I went to meet with my friend I was totally dressed in women's clothing and when I went to the gym on Saturday I was fully in women's workout clothing. The gym outfit was more obvious, at first I thought my other outfit was still technically "passing" for male - but then I saw myself in a monitor at a restaurant and for a split second thought I was looking at a girl - so I was happy with that :wub:

    Love and hugs to all!


    • Like 2

  8. I think much of it is "simply" about projecting outwardly who you are inside. So if your goal is to be seen, accepted, and treated as a woman or man, it's more important to pass. If the goal is to be seen, accepted and treated as more feminine (me) or masculine than you would otherwise, then passing isn't so important (or might be cointerproductive).

    That and I think women's clothes are so much nicer than men's :) (the jeans could use deeper pockets though, just sayin)

    • Like 3

  9. In my experience, and i'm sure i'm not alone, cross-dressing was how I first explored as transgender. It was only after doing that for awhile that I recognized that I am transgender. The point of all this is to say that have the separately identified concept was helpful in terms of my journey - if the only option seemed to be transgender, i'm not sure when I would have taken that step.

    Having said all that, it will be nice when we, reach a time when everyone just feels free to express as they want and need. And I agree that under those circumstances it would be redundant or incorrect to say that a transgender person is cross-dressing.

    • Like 4