I crossdress because it's who I am. The only time I'm truly happy is when I'm dressed. I tried to deny this for so long but I can't any longer. I love stockings and dresses and I don't understand why it's a big deal. A woman can wear jeans and a flannel shirt and e it's okay. I want to walk down the street in heels and a dress the world freaks out. I don't know what it means bit the older I get the more I fantasize about being a housewife. Ever since I had surgery for prostate cancer it's been on my mind constantly. Does it have anything to do with the fact I can't get etect or ejaculate? I need to find out when I see my dr.