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Content tagged 'M2F'

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  1. I was born a woman in a mans body. I've known this since my earliest memory but growing up during the 70s and 80s in Southern California and being raised by two very conservative parents made life heartbreaking and filled with pain.
    I wasn't strong enough to go against my parents and now at the young age of 50 it's still difficult.
     I think about how different my life will become and it excites me to think that one day I'll be able to transform into the woman I've always hidden from the public. It's going to take a lot of work—surgical and hormonal— but the end result for me will be liberating and glorious. 
    When I was younger I would wear my sisters dresses as often as I could. One day in my sophomore year of high school my mother caught me in a dress. I spent the next two years in counseling being told it was unacceptable to feel the way I did. In 1986 when I graduated from high school I was forced by my parents to enlist in the United States Army in order to make me a man. I retired after serving 25 years. During my career I fought the urge to be who I was inside. I married three times but that never lasted. I was always jealous of my wives. I wanted to be a wife too. I've begun the necessary steps to happiness. Will it be easy? Absolutely not but anything this important shouldn't be an easy process to traverse. I have several roadblocks ahead of me; weight loss, the looks I'll get when coming out in public for the first time (I'm 6'3" 250 lbs) but I even though I know tough times are ahead I'm still driven to become the woman I was born to be. ​I quit my job and moved 1,400 miles to Seattle with the hopes of finding a job where I can transition and continue on with becoming Olivia.This will be the first of many blogs depicting my journey.I hope you'll join me by following in on this new grand adventure. 
  2. Recently, a hetero cisgender asked me the above question. I remembered questioning my relationship with J. As a hetero cisgender partner to a man who transitioned M2F, his transition caused me to question my own sexual preference. I struggled with societal views and judgments, and wondered how I would be perceived in the relationship if I stayed. I wondered what our sexual relationship would be like on the other side of J's transition. My comment to her question follows based on my own experience.

    If you are a heterosexual female, and "he" becomes "she" your sex life will change. You may find yourself in a lesbian sexual relationship. Do you wonder, like I did, that if you stay, and you find pleasure and satisfaction in your relationship with your partner if that means you are a lesbian? or, bisexual? I thought, maybe, I am simply, "bicapable".

    "Bicapable" is a term I coined to describe the relationship between an SO and "A PARTICULAR person (husband/partner) who transitions M2F. THIS partner whom you have established a sexual relationship with as a "he", and with whom you have a "HISTORY". I believe it is possible to have a gratifying sexual intimate relationship to each others mutual satisfaction, after "he" becomes "she" because you know and understand each others needs. At the same time, you know in yourself, that in any other circumstance, presented with a lesbian sexual encounter or relationship, that you would have no sexual interest. This is what I mean by "bicapable".

    So many variables make up one's own ability to enjoy being with another person in an intimate way.
    It is no one's business but that of the two of you with regard to how you express your sexual nature when together. In any relationship, it is the couple that defines what that is. Self-exploration, curiosity, and experimentation can go a long way to contributing to personal growth. And, I believe a relationship can grow and flourish if done with mutual respect, self-awareness, consent, and care for another person.

    My suggestion was to talk to her partner about her needs, likes, dislikes, fears, and to be honest, and sensitive to her partners needs as well. I said, "You might be surprised at what you discover about yourself, and your partner. Could you discover you are a lesbian? Maybe. But you may come to realize that by nature, you are not a lesbian, but with THIS person, in THIS relationship, you are bicapable. Thoughts?