Content tagged 'mental well-being'
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By KarenPayne, postedSeveral months ago I wrote about a person who had a botched surgery where the outcome was rectovaginal fistula. My part was simply support prior to surgery and assist if needed with dilation processes.
Well after just over a week out of the hospital I pretty much ended my involvement with her as she was taken back in for corrective surgery and have not spoke to her.
Last night at a bar, several cross-dressers met, we were having a great time then she walked in, sat down, we all said hello. She did not look happy, matter of fact she never looks happy since I've met her.
Every single person I've met before surgery was either happy or not happy because they wanted surgery. After surgery all but this one was very happy.
So I asked how she was doing, she lifted up her top and said this is her until February, it's a colostomy bag. She said it needs to be emptied 7 to 8 times a day.
About an hour after that she walked off, we didn't know where she went. Shortly afterwards I said goodbye to everyone as I had things to get done for a trip to Washington State. On the way out I saw her sitting by herself looking very sad but knew if I asked why I would be stuck there. When I got home she had posted on Facebook that we were not a problem, she was.
This to me is a huge red flag and although I don't truly know her think she is heading down a dark path.
Did the transformation in regards to bottom surgery cause unhappiness? I don't believe it did, instead there is much more going on but not being a professional have no clue to what is troubling her.
Is there a lesson here? May be, may be not, I would like people to think through what the outcome will be after they have corrective gender surgery as it may not be the life one believed it should be. You have to have realistic expectations else you may be playing with your life.
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Before gender reassignment surgery one of the things that help me make my time in the wrong anatomy bearable was setting up a home studio where I could get away from the world. I could justify the cost which was done over many years to a rough sum of $20,000 because I have always played guitar and piano. Guitars along accounted for $5,000 where I have all but one which was sold recently to a guitar collector out of state. Over the past year I even managed to setup guitar amps and a revolving set of guitars to play in my living room where most times the television is on with the volume off.
My guess is the average person saving for transitioning can't afford this as they are funneling their funds for surgery and therapy treatment. With that said I think it's wise to find some kind of hobby to divert the day to day grief of being on the wrong anatomy. I would guess that many (and I did this too) will stay secluded in the confines of their home dressed as they believe they should be and shun the outside world in fear of the obvious. Three years ago around this time I realized this was not conducive to my mental well being so I dressed angougonous and got out into the world and when I was depressed to the point of not wanting to make human contact I wrapped myself into my music but made sure, along with my best friend that I did get out into the real world.
I believe it's paramount to not hide from the world but instead get out even if you must dress in the born gender at least for short amount of times then do what I did, dress angougonous which if your path dictates it one day you will get out dressed in the gender which your mind deems correct. But don't flip the switch from one gender to another over night.
So find a hobby and get out into the world which is much healthier than confining yourself to the confines of your home.
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