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Karen's thoughts

A blog by KarenPayne in General

  • Entries

    261

  • Comments

    690

  • Views

    132,268

About this blog

This blog is dedicated to telling those who read the entries about my journey in hopes that something can be learned. 

Entries in this blog

Halloween

This morning I went down to chat with a fellow co-worker, asked him "I wonder if people here will dress up today?". I asked because not every year they will, kind of hit or miss. He was unsure same as me. He then told me that a former co-worker told him that I killed it one Halloween (way back in 1996) when I dressed up as a female. I vaguely remember until this jogged me memory. I had dressed in proper business attire, mid-size high heels, black stockings, black dress, just above the knees, whi

Give yourself a break

Smiling and laughing can but not always brighten attitudes and well being. I was one for ignoring this for many years but have in the past few years learned to be a happier person both before and after GRS (Gender Reassignment Surgery) which I think can lead one away from being sad or depressed. I could not believe how much "The Other Woman" movie could make me cheerful and smile. Perhaps that is not your cup of tea, may be instead it's treating yourself to a lovely dinner with cheerful frien

Dilation helper

One of the worst things about dilation is setting up. Currently I place two pillows in front of a chair, in front of this a pad design to ease the pain of sitting down then two pillows in front of that which I fold in half and place under my calves to position properly. Get out the KY and butter knife plus the dilator. Lastly turn on the timer on my cell phone. Do the dilation, clean up. Takes about 5-10 minutes to setup, 15 minutes to dilate then another five minutes to clean up. All this

Setting my new goal, breast augmentation

I have been research who to select for doing my breast augmentation in the latter part of this year. I would really like to do this here in Oregon but not sure who to trust as I have heard some not so pleasant stories. For instance one of the woman who cuts my hair told me her left breast was royally messed up and been battling with the surgeon for months now. I am not taking this lightly by any means. Very shortly hope to have my new countdown and be done with this before the end of this year.

Trans March Portland Oregon

I am not the type to attend a trans parade at all but felt the need to see what is was all about.  Well for a while there it seemed like we would not make it as my friend's husband got intoxicated and did some really stupid stuff to his wife and young daughter, When I got to her place her daughter clung onto me for safety and the husband immediately settled down to some extent as even though he is much bigger than me he knows what I am capable of. I could write an entire entry of this but declin

Post-op ten months almost

Wow, just about ten months since my reassignment surgery.  In no special order somethings I have noticed. Yes I admit this, have gained 20LB since December when I was weighed last. My doctor said it's the hormones. So without hesitation I started running for 45 minutes each day and completely cut out anything one would consider food that encourages weight gain. The nice thing (if there is any) is that the weight is evenly distributed because if nothing else I still fit into my clothes and only r

UPDATE Dilation break through

I have been working on a good method to work on dilation with the largest dilator which I was having not so great luck with. As mention before I need to dilate three times a day for 15 minutes. Small and medium dilator were fine but the larger one I only could manage a few times with then tried 15 minutes with the medium then gave up after five minutes with the larger size dilator. Last night I believe I have found a simple method to start with five minutes with the medium dilator then 15 min

Inclusion and diversity at Microsoft

Two nights ago myself, two Microsoft managers and three Microsoft engineers formed a panel on inclusion and diversity in the workplace. The settings, a room filled to capacity (guessing 400), two wine bars, cheese and crackers. We sat on stage, each with our own microphones. Yes the entire event was video taped by a professional team. After a ten minute introduction by the sponsor (a Microsoft program manager) a question was asked, each one of us responded then moved on to the next question. At

Pulling stitches

This morning I had a very difficult/painful dilation session. It was painful enough to contact Marci which resulted in sending her a snapshot. I noticed a blood blister, she asked me to pop it. So I serialized a needle and popped it, no pain, fair amount of blood. She then said, I see you still have some stitches, please pull them out. I had tried several days ago but did not put much effort into it. Today I did and got them (four) out. The hard part is working tweezers with a flashlight and mir

Phase II

Thought I would disclose my current plans for me in regards to making changes I thought about first then acted on. There were no rushed decisions, all well planned out beforehand. Phase one was gender reassignment surgery and breast augmentation. Phase II current to end of February The Fraxel Experience: laser treatments not only improve the look of your skin, but it will improve the health of your skin and the strength of your skin by encouraging collagen turn over and proliferation. Your skin

Two months post surgery

Things that come to mind without blinking an eye, yes, surgery is a big deal but pales (at least for me pain-wise) in comparison to dilation. No sugar coating it, it really hurts. On the bright side it gets better but not before you have done this about 300 times. For me the next thing is cisgender females will talk to you about things you would never even guess, it’s a totally different world. Even cisgender females that you don’t talk to but notice in a glance or passing by on the street, for

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