So I have to move out my apartment due to breaking up with my ex. Which is great! it's great because though we get along and we will always be friends, we need different things from our partners that neither of us are going to get. I am packing all my junk, and realizing I have way too much. As I pack though I found tons of pictures of me from what I call the dark ages. The Dark ages were the period of time after high school but before college, a whole six years for me, in which I went back into
This is another post semester entry. This last semester has been so rough and yet so rewarding I cannot put into words how far I have come. Today is May 12,2016. Exactly one year ago I was lamenting about not having started T, and being at least two years from being able to afford surgery. Now here I am having been on T for nearly seven months and anticipating surgery in the next eight months. In the span of a year I have gone from being the victim of hard circumstances to being become an advoc
So, I know it has been awhile. I have so many positive things to share and also some negative ones. So the Fall semester hit me like a freight truck. I had forgotten the inevitable stress that went along with being on student government. Luckily, I survived. The highlights of the fall semester are that I, with the support of the student body and government, began a campaign to get a gender neutral bathroom on campus. In doing so I’ve had the privilege of representing our community at my school a
So today was my first endo Appointment. It did not go as I'd hoped, but not for the reasons i thought. I knew that I would not start testosterone today. Let me be clear about that, right away. I was however hoping that I would find out when I get to start. I got lost on my way to the clinic because Yale New Haven Hospital is a Zoo! New Haven is a terrible smattering of crazy drivers and one way streets. Think of it like as tiny New York filled with even more assholes. I was late even though I se
So originally there were two pieces. they have somehow melded into one piece that I'm truly proud of. I'll link it for those who'd like to see. Thank you all for giving me the courage to do this. it took literally thirty takes for me to be mildly satisfied with the results. I shot this on my phone... so sorry if the quality is not that good. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SPbPLLGFkSE
So originally there were two pieces. they have somehow melded into one piece that I'm truly proud of. I'll link it for those who'd like to see. Thank you all for giving me the courage to do this. it took literally thirty takes for me to be mildly satisfied with the results. I shot this on my phone... so sorry if the quality is not that good. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SPbPLLGFkSE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SPbPLLGFkSE This is me performing my poem. My Poem became a fusion of the previous two poems. I love it so much. I hope you all enjoy. I was so nervous it took so long just get a rough version of it down.
Recently I was invited to perform at a spoken word event for young black people in South Eastern CT. The title and theme of the event is : In My Skin. I was invited because though I am new to the Spoken word scene, I caught the eye of a fellow performer whom wanted to share my story. We'd performed two months ago at a school event and she enjoyed my piece as much as I enjoyed hers. The event is not for another month and I'm nervous about getting up in front of strangers to share either of the tw
On my last visit to my therapist she casually informed me that I will have her letter of recommendation. I nearly fell out of my chair when she told me. That was amazing news. I could've soared I was so excited. I think She laughed at my reaction. The news came lumped in with confirmation of something I was was seriously concerned about. My Doctor helped to confirm I'm insulin resistant. That condition, for those who are unfamiliar, is very close to having diabetes without having diabetes. I am
Five weeks to go until I meet the endocrinologist. I look at the calendar once a day. I started journaling a month ago to help with my anxiety. It helps but I always want to share it with others, as if my life is just that damn interesting. Three weeks ago I began seeing a therapist. I knew that I was supposed to see one for transitioning stuff, but I feel like I’m just rambling for fifty five minutes. Beth assures me that is what I’m supposed to be doing. This last Friday, Friday Jun 26th, 2015
Mohamed Gandhi said, “Be the Change you want to see in the world.” When he said that, I don’t think he knew the power he held in those words. Or perhaps he did. The first time I heard those words, was out of my own mouth as I read them from my laptop screen on a hazy summer Tuesday night. I had researched them in an attempt to pick myself up of the ground. I tried to mimic those words in every nuance of my life ever since, but it hasn’t helped. I want to sleep all the time. Not because I’m tired
“You are just uncomfortable with your body.” She said as if her words could solve all my problems. As if my dysfunctions could be solved by her petty words of wisdom.
“You’re going be in that body for the rest of your life, lady. You have to learn to love it girl.” She says. As if my imagined self-loathing could be cured by a campy nineties feel good seminar created by femi-nazis to create militaristic men hating clones. Like a lobbyist levying her private greed as my public need she says, “Who
I like to think my aggressively friendly/positive attitude (Mixed with an assortment of Sarcastic or Sardonic undertones.) is the result of my upbringing which sadly was not pre-formed by my biological parents until my personality had set and they found me to be unbearable. (Children unfortunately grow up to be people.)I was not truly raised by my parents but rather my grandparents and aunt. My parents disowned me a short time ago, and since I consider it to be a healthy exercise in humanity, I
Support can mean a world of difference. Recently I had to leave my previous place of employment in order to find a new one that would allow me time for college. I ended up at my previous job simply because I could make it work to my advantage. I started work at Wal-Mart the beginning of last month, and while I will fore warn anyone that it is not the ideal place of employment for me, it is not as bad as they say.
I’d left Wal-Mart previously because I want a job I felt safe transitioning at, an
Glad Introductions are over. Let’s talk about Genital Fixation.
I’m a student. The awkwardness never ends there. Every few months I have to introduce myself to new people. I used to love that kind of life event. Now I forever despise it. Mostly I’m sure because it means coming out to new people, and while I don’t regret for a moment coming out I sometimes find doing so over and over a rather tiresome event. I frequently refer to my life as the picture perfect awkwardness that comes from a s
I'd like to introduce myself. Hi I'm Benjamin. I'm a T-guy who lives in Connecticut. Before I go any further let me answer some quick questions I always get. No I'm not rich. No I know being a Trans guy doesn't make me the world's foremost expert on anything and yes I'm aware being a T-Man doesn't make me special. Yes I'm aware that occasionally I capitalize random words for no reason.
This blog may come off as rant sometimes.
Sometimes my mind moves too fast for my fingers to keep up.
