Karen,

I absolutely agree that it gets better as you go out. When I started cross-dressing I was frustrated that there was nowhere I could go where I could dress there. But ultimately I took the step, got dressed at home and went out (I think the scariest part was stepping out my front door - I live in a condo building - and facing neighbors - that fear was addressed the very first time as the person across the hall was coming home as I was walking out).

Maybe the biggest disappointment was my sense that nobody was noticing! But I got over that :-)

xoxo

Christie

Christie, thinking about what you said, I came out to my neighbors two months before surgery and two of them said “oh, we already knew this…”. For the next two months they poured out their questions and then things became normal.

I never asked them exactly when they figured it out but while in a discussion with two of them who live behind me they said they saw me dressed as a female many times. And I thought I was being stealth. So it would seem that no matter how cautious you are someone you don’t know about will see you and more likely than not will not say anything. Thinking back at least in the past several years neither of these neighbors treated me different so going with them indicating it was a non-issue I can now see that they were telling me the truth.

Since surgery the only difference with interaction is they stopped asking me about anything to do with the process but keep to normal types of conversations, female to female on common topics and neighborhood gossip. The males in my neighborhood in general don’t have much to say and did not even before coming out or when I up the times I would be out as female. I have had a few of the males (since surgery) start normal conversations with me and never broached the topic of my former identity.

Going out and presenting is related to dress, mannerisms and confidence. That takes practice. Which means a lot of going out in the "cis" world to get that practice. When I was young I could wear and do whatever I wanted and passing was not an issue. The older I got, I started to wear things that were age and situation appropriate and that helps. But it comes back to confidence. For example, I had gone to a service last Saturday and was in a nice dress and heels and I went to Target on the way home. At first I was like, I don't usually wear this to Target. But today was a unique situation, it was a funeral service, so I shouldn't feel bad about it or out of place. I don't know if there were a lot of people looking, but I did have someone make an interesting comment to me when I was walking back to my car. They said "hey, beautiful". Which to me was a little derogatory but I was kind to the person. Anyways, you need to make eye contact and respond. Even if you do not have a "female" voice. Otherwise, the person does think you are strange, a little off or maybe lacking social graces instead of just being nervous.

Spot on Lisa on it takes practice. In regards to "hey beautiful", for me it depends on whom spoke these words how I would take the meaning behind those words. Yes eye contact is important which is counter intuitive to how many females act in public towards men which is common in other Eastern cultures and less here but still females tend to make less eye contact with males. Stare too long and you are attractive this may trigger in a male you want sex (don't get me started here) as this is how the male mind works, at least from my experiences.

Thanks for sharing Lisa!!!