Thinking of transitioning as difficult (thinking of those going through this currently); everyone will have some level of difficulty where a good deal of issues come from the degree of support we have and we can feel that we can compartmentalize each part as in family, friends and work and that is it but as many know here we must also deal with society at large. Having an overall good support system will lessen what difficulties they will have to contend with.

Is it possible to change everyone’s perspective on you being different from the norm? Not for one minute will everyone come to terms with this and attempting to force feed people the fact that you are a well-adjusted person will not fly with many.

Trust me when I say I don’t have anywhere near all the answers to fixing this but do believe if possible before beginning one’s journey a good support system must be in place. This support system may be one person or several people. You should be able to communicate in person and or via phone to allow you to deal with issues that may (will) come up.

I started off with one female cisgender friend outside of work then a three male and one female friend outside of work which I had better than good relationships with and one I had saved their life but even with that I needed to use kid gloves. Having this small circle is much better than having nobody at all and having nobody will surely lead one to many hardships down the road which is not where you want to be.

We all know that bad/dark place where only things like alcohol, drugs, self-mutilation and thoughts of suicide enter the mind and are so easy to not resist. I have known enough people who sunk to dark depths for other reasons and think about it, we see people in the grocery store everyday picking up their wine and beer so they can go home and forget the world. Trans people typically don’t have the luxury to simply drink their disgust with their physical anatomy away, it’s there whether we are sober, high or intoxicated so it’s always there. We need others who we trust and can let out our frustrations without the fear of pushing them away.

I think many will consider a place of worship as a haven but many religions are not so accepting of transgender people as “this is not how God made you and is a sin” so understand when going to talk with clergy that you may have the raft of God descend upon you which, again goes back to having a good support system and that places of worship may not be this way. If you attend services regularly listen to what is preached and attempt to get a feel for how you will be treated by them by coming out to them. Of course it’s not always the case that they will shun you but be prepared when talking to them well in advance what questions may be asked and practice your responses to these questions.

Lastly, many tend to think that they must stay in the same area they are now but what if the environment is toxic? If your current environment is toxic prior to coming out what do you think it will be like after coming out? Yes it can be extremely difficult to pick up one's life and transplant to a safe environment but it's possible. I saw this early on and made the decision to re-invent myself from a sales person making $25,000 in 1990 to $40,000 after one year of spending long nights studying to become a computer software developer then another year to move from one coast to the other coast to find a stable environment that was much more accepting of transgender then the last location. It's not easy to relocate and makes transitioning to take longer but I think in my case it was worth the effort. So if you live in a toxic environment and are suppressed by it you need to get out, figure out what it takes and do it.

Any ways as mentioned earlier I am not expert so that my advice with a grain of sand.