A Long Time Coming

Since I was a kid I felt a bit left out being the only boy (no dad), I think I mostly wanted to be a girl to fit in. I would often wear my sisters or my mums clothes just to see what it felt like, I didn't tell anyone I just put them back after I was done.

Since I was about 11 or 12 I managed to suppress the urges and feelings, and I totally forgot about it! Until recently, when I came over-run with all the feelings again. They came in a surge of beautifully painful feelings. Beautiful because what a joy it might have been to be a woman and the painful because well here I am.. Not a woman.

I thought maybe i was just horny or something so got rid of that idea in about 5 minutes. So here I am, not really sure, not really knowing where I might end up.

I think the hardest part is being in a relationship, I have a girlfriend. It's not like I can go up to her and just say, "hey, I know you really had your heart set on a really nice life together but I think i'll be a woman instead". Doesn't seem very nice, nor ethical. It's also tricky because i think to really look like a girl on the outside requires full body hair removal, I'm definately not ready for that conversation.

I'm not really sure where this blog is going to be honest, I've never written a blog before.