Today was my big day at the hairdressor. For 30 years I have been going to salons, but I never really got the style I wanted. Whenever I went in I always had the same perm. If I ever had a chance to look at the picture books they would always hand me the guys haircuts. Though I didn't want to be teased in those years I really wanted the hairdressor to style my hair with a feminine touch. But I never was able to get the words out. A long time has past and I realized I can no longer go on holding back with the person who has the most potential to help me feel better about myself.

When I called for the appointment I first mentioned that I was going to be sharing something confidential with her when I came in. I asked for an appointment when it wasn't so busy. I managed to tell her that I would be wanting a woman's style and that I was comfortable with that. She said she would have some choices ready for me when I came in.

Appointment day came (today). I got there early so that I could be relaxed. There were two older ladies over 70 and they immediately smiled when I came in. I figured half the smile was for my new earings. One of them asked me, "so are you the hairdressor?", I calmly said No, just here for a haircut.

Then the owner came around the corner and did the usual. She saw the girls cuts I was looking at and she said, "too long for you and handed me the guys book again". This time however I was prepared because knew I had talked about this earlier with my hairdressor. I was polite, but immediately placed the guys book down when she went back behind the counter and picked up another girls book. This time I saw a few pages were marked with light blue paper. I looked at the styles and said, "this looks pretty good I wonder if these marked pages were for me". A few moments later my hairdressor called me up and I brought the book with. I showed her the cuts I liked and she agreed with me and told me she had marked the pages. I mentioned that before we selected something she needed to see one more set of pictures. From an office file folder I presented her with the Close-up head shots that I had recently posted on this site in my photo gallery. This was the ultimate adventure for me because I had no idea how things were going to go. I said, are you familiar with transgender? She said yes, and she immediately pointed to my favorite picture of the group. She started talking about the picture in the third person. I stopped her and said, you know that's me right? and she nodded her head. I asked if she was ok with all of this and she said yes. The next 5 minutes or so she began to explain my options and talk to me like she would have to any other woman in the shop. We settled on a style that gives me a lot more options than ever before and then got to work on my hair.

I enjoyed every minute of this experience I really started to feel more like Amie as the haircut and perm shaped my hair into something special. We talked about a lot of the usual, because other people were in the room, but sometimes I mentioned things that I knew just she would understand. It was like little code words here and there that let her know I was willing to share.

Almost at the end of the perm with lots of big rollers in my hair the older customer was beginning to leave, she stopped and said "when can I see how he turns out". Both hairdressors said we know he's young and handsome but he's married with children. For a moment I thought she was spoiling all of the fun but then I laughed when she asked me how she thought my family was going to take the perm. I said, "no problem, I have been doing this for years". You see the big difference was the type of cut and the extra pampering that I got with this style. I begged the client to go without seeing me because I said I'm sure we have more than a few minutes left here. She smiled and wished me a good weekend and then my hairdressor got back to work on the masterpiece.

When she was finished she took a little extra time to show me the different ways I could show off my new style. I felt so good inside. Another one of those big weights was lifted from me. I also had one of the nicest conversations with the hairdressor and strengtened my relationship with the salon owner. Both Hairdressors new I was more nervous today and really helped me feel at home. Before I left, they assured me that I should not be too worried about other people because I carry myself well. They said they like my personality and that looking different on the outside didn't matter to them. It was at that moment that I realized that they let me into their circle. I was accepted as one of them. A real woman. We entered into that sacred circle of trust and I felt a real sense of finally belonging. If I never made that phone call ahead of time and took a chance with showing Amie's picture I would have had the same old haircut and would have missed all that fun.

My good experience had a lot to do with the salon I picked. This was a small salon. I was told that sometimes its harder to maintain a sense of privacy at the bigger salons. If you are someone trying to hold on to your current job before getting something different as the new you, it makes sense to do just a little careful questioning and research before jumping in.

Earlier this morning at work an older woman friend of mine noticed my earings. She point to her ears and said to me "I like the new addition". She also made me feel so good inside. I said no one had commented about them yet and she said they looked nice. Today was a good day, considering the way the week started, I have confidence that I can do this now, I just need to start using my women's intuition.

Finally, I realized that with all the people that may reject me, when you find someone who really cares it makes it all worth while. While the hair dressor and I were talking between perm applications, I came up with a statement she liked so much she wrote it down on a note for herself.

It reads: "Sometimes when you overthink things, you can miss opportunities".

This was one of those days. I took a chance and gained two new friends today. Just one day at a time.

I hope you enjoyed reading about my experience I hope to share more stories as they unfold.