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Just had a thought


KarenPayne

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I was reading another blog post that lead to another off-site post and just had this epiphany that be it wrong or right to think this way but I don't consider myself transgender for a long time now but never actually came to terms in writing before. I go through my daily life as any other female would. Heck today I spent an unGodly amount of money on makeup today, 64 dollars. When I got to the counter I must of had  a face that begged to ask me "is your day going okay?: I said up to now, jeez, never realized how much makeup cost and I only purchased it for an event tomorrow and will never use it again NO wait I will because it cost so much. Last time I wore makeup was over 15 years ago. So I went home and spent an hour with the makeup. Then I remember at my best friend's house yesterday she said her daughter spends hours on doing her face, I said, not me, never. Baaaahhhh look at me today, eyeshadow, foundation, top and powder and lipstick. Came out well but then I learned it takes a good deal of time taking it off but that didn't bother me because "I am a girl" and the process was well worth the effort experimenting as I did my eye's twice.I remember back 15 years ago I would impatient doing my makeup but now I am content taking time to get it right but 64 dollars yeek. 20 dollars was spent on one brush alone but worth it (I guess).

Anyways as I look back to before GRS and now lots of little things have changed and now taking notice of them. Girls my guess is that some of you will travel down the same path, one day stuck in the wrong body and flash you are sitting in a chair legs in the proper place, hands cupped then someone says something that invokes an emotion and one hand goes to your chest then you mutter a gasp followed by your hand covering your mouth delicately. It might dawn on you later that oh my god I am where I should had been all my life.  

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Karen,

I had gotten to thinking about terms for a bit too - finally I settled for: (1) right now i'm "transgender," a "transwoman," and/or a "woman," (2) that will change, and (3) I don't need a final answer :)

Xoxo

Christie 

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Have fun with your make-up Karen, yes take your time and experiment, isn't life about having fun anyway? Anyway if I read your last sentence correctly, and also Christies final point, which is  a similar thought that I had, I'm not bothered about passing even if I do, and I know that I do anyway, but I'm not bothered what handle you put on me, I'm me, what I always should have been. Humanity is so diverse, and even the 51% of humanity that I now identify with is so diverse that I just do my own thing. This indeed did take a while before I realised it, I think I posted something similar in one of Jayes recent blogs............

Anyway I just been out shopping with my Mom, and bought a new faux fur coat, and sequin party cami top, which will go nicely with other clothes in my almost massive collection, funny that I could never understand massive collections of clothes or enough footwear for a centipede when I was male.................... I got too many coats now as well!

Cheers,

Eve

Edited by eveannessant
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