The Politics of "Nice".

I recently finished a hour long question and answer session with a graduate student working on a transgendered thesis.

As we sorted through the usual questions of when did you feel transgendered first and how much counseling had I gone through, here came the big question- how did I make new friends as a transgendered person.

Fortunately, I could fall back on last night's experiences to answer the question.

I was having an outstanding time conversing with a cis-girlfriend of mine. At the same time we were talking to one of our regular bartenders about her day on the job and I noticed another rather attractive woman switch places with the guy she was sitting with to get next to me.

Well, I was in heaven! She started a conversation almost immediately about the different places we have seen each other.

Question answered, I made a new friend as a transgendered person by osmosis. She had seen me around and I was interesting enough to talk to. The next step was the politics of nice.

I've mentioned before the art of communication between genders and how transgendered fits in. I call it the politics of nice.

Number one, I've learned plenty on how women talk to each other. The verbal or non verbal, the eyes and the touches all form a basis. The icing on the cake is just being nice. I try to project that basic fact. Underneath all the window dressing, yes I'm transgendered but I am a good person that you may want to know.

I wasn't always this way. On occasion I was bitchy and a loner. I did learn however that some women are as curious about us as we are about them.

As we talked "girl talk", being transgendered sort of just faded away and I'm gained another friend through osmosis!

So much more satisfying than be a bitch or a loner!