If I can quote "Bob Seger's Hollywood Nights" tune-"he knew right then he was too far from home. He was too far from home." Then relate it to losing your male identity, I would. Wait! I just did!

The reason I did quote the song (basically about a beautiful California blond and a Midwestern boy lost in her charms) is that I remember defining moments when I didn't want to go back home to my male self.

I know many of you girls have always known you were just that-a girl. Many of us however, did not have that luxury. I went through the first 30 years or so of my life fighting and giving in to my female urges.

I knew I could never go home happened to me when this Midwestern boy moved to the NYC area.

Within two months, I enjoyed two defining moments that would set my life on a female path.

The first was a trans "mixer" of sorts I attended on Long Island . The real lady at the door wouldn't let me in until I proved I was a guy. "No single real women allowed!"

The second was a Halloween party I attended with a couple friends at work. It just so happened that one of them had two other tall female friends that were dressed as sleazy as me! To this day I remember walking across an intersection in a mini dress and heels WITH 3 other real females. What an evening! The girls insisted I dance with them and even a couple of their boyfriends.

I knew then, I could never go home-even if I did move back to the Midwest.

If I was a betting girl (not) I bet you girls have defining moments too!

I welcome any stories you might have, when you knew you could never go home!

http://cyrstiscondo-cyrsti.blogspot.com/