I should be working but can’t seem to focus, my mind is elsewhere. There’s some 70 + sleeps left till’ my GRS. I can think of nothing else this morning. I wonder to myself; Will my new vagina look nice?(lil' vain I know), I’ve seen many turn out very natural looking n’ pretty while others not so much … will mine work properly n’ orgasms be achievable?, I’ve read several accounts were much of the sensation was lost by 6months post-op (that’s a bit scary) … I am happily married to a woman so is depth even important to me?, I think I’d at least like to be average compared to other transwomen.

I hope surgery goes well, as with any surgery there’s always a possibility of complications. My Doctor has an astounding reputation so I pray it’s a good day for him. My surgery is on a Tuesday so that’s good (no one wants a ride built on a Friday, lol, sorry, I sometimes make jokes when I’m nervous ).

I knew as a lil’ child that one day I’d grow up to be a woman, as an adolescent I came to believe it to be impossible. I read about "Caroline Cossey - bond girl" in my 20s and discovered that there were others like me. Thanks to the internet I found there were many girls like me ... now I can’t believe my surgery’s so close. It’s not that I think surgery will be the determining factor that officially makes me a woman, I’m a woman now, I just don’t want a penis.