If you, whoever you might be start to read this, please read "bump in the road first." So this part of the story will make more sense to you. Thank you.

Hope, is a funny thing and she can make you go loony looking for her however hard she to maybe to find don't stopping looking.

I know how hard she is to find from personal experance, and I almost gave in and up to hunt for her.

However, I'm sure glad I didnot, for God answered my prayers!!!

I have a real friend......she know who she is and maybe another one as well; this means the world to me. I was looking in the wrong direction; that is all that was wrong.

In between the the hunt and find, I had time to soul search;I found out I'm impetuous,incorrigible,and in need of acceptance by others. this I know leaves me venerable to hurt, and to feel emotional pain which in my case is worse than the physical pain; I can take that kind of pain all day long, and do.

So that is why I need to write this in my blog to make sure that someone who is just about ready to give up and in says to them self hay if she could do it I can too. Please, know this as well if you need a friend, and I'm sitll alive I will be their for you...... just find me.

I promise I will never intentionally hurt you............Here I go with the mushy part again!

O yes I have to put this in here; If the other woman ever wants to be a real friend of mine. I will leave room in my heart for her too. One woman's lose is another one's gain.

PS. Never let the Administrators at TTGuide know what's going on? Why ......you ask.....because....they really do care about you and will help you! I an't how I know. LOL :P