I have was not always smart when going out in female mode in that I would wear clothing that the average female would not in a specific locale i.e. high heels and a short shirt when out for a stroll and would indeed draw attention to myself from all works of life in my younger days. From lots of reading on Internet forums it would appear I was not alone with these dressing habits. What turned me around was enlisting the service of a consultant that schooled me in how to dress and feel good about how I was dressed for whatever the occasion. For instance, when out shopping where I use to wear short shirts I swapped out for skinny jeans or a knee length skirt out for dinner and reserved short skirts for hot weather with flats rather than high heels.

 

I noticed that I felt more at ease when out in female mode, still got looks from people around me but not from the clothes I wore, instead the whole package. As I became more confident, I expanded where I would go. A good example, I get up early in the morning as my workday begins at 5 AM and would get up by (yes this surprises many) 3:30 AM. Well several years ago, I started taking walks around a rather large block and never had any issues with LEO (Law Enforcement) as they seemed to not patrol in this area at this time of the morning. In recent months that changed and was stopped by an officer who did not know I was not female until I told him as I presented my driver’s license and concealed handgun permit.  He explained to me why I was stopped, not many people are out at this time in the morning so I was out of place no matter my gender.

 

So from the start of my time with the officer I kept my hands in plain sight and for the most part kept direct eye contact with him and answered all question just enough to get by, not long and drawn out replies. I could tell he believed me and was not a bad experience at all. Several days later I was out walking again and he rolled up as I was walking down the street, he did not come to a complete stop at first , rolled down his windows and said “I see you do walk at the same time every morning” and also said he saw me the day before and was looking out for me. Next time he simply drove by. 

 

Next time was a different officer who was parked in a company’s parking lot, this time it was a female officer and she just waved.

 

Now my reason for writing the above is that I know that many people like me might wonder how they might handle this type of situation but I am also guessing many will not take the first step because they are afraid of what an officer might do to them. If you present yourself dressed as, any other female would in a similar situation the officer will more likely see you as a normal person rather than someone out looking to get picked up for sex or casing the area to rob someone. I have met enough police officers in my years of teaching self-defense to know how they think and cannot emphasize enough that you need to be dressed correctly, have some confidence in your role you are dressed in. This is for many much harder to take that first step because minds will think “he/she can arrest me” or they will stop you close to home and neighbors will see this and you are not out to your neighbors. Why mention this? Because I was stopped once on my block and a neighbor came out to see what was going on. Did it bother me? Heck no but someone else might be devastated.

 

Now a days I look back at all of this and simply look at these experiences kind of like going to school. The consular was worth every penny I spend learning how to dress, walk and talk.