Week of 12/15/2014

Not really much going on with me. Over the two week period, I was extremely busy trying to get things ready for the holidays and finishing things up at work. I am very much on the fence about transitioning. The break is going to give me time to really think about it and pray about it. I've been thinking and dealing with this for a long time. It will not go away. What I fear is that if I don't transition or at least structure my life so that there are significant periods of time that I can express myself I will be miserable. BTW - if I live full-time, I have no intention of having bottom surgery (yet). It's more about expressing myself on a daily basis and validating and affirming who I am and being comfortable doing so. Anyways, it's tough. I sometimes feel like a caged animal. My therapist suggested ativan, but I told her that I need to feel like this. I can't keep putting bandaids on things anymore. Anyways, we'll see what happens. I have an appointment scheduled on the 9th of January and also planning on going to support group. I am also planning on going out on December 27th.

Love to all and a happy holiday,

--Lisa