Well here goes, where do I start? I suppose that I should introduce myself first, I'm Eve an English M to F Transexual, undergoing hormone treatment from Charing Cross Gender Identity Centre, Ihope to be fully transgendered in the 2 years or so......I'm quite old to have started this journey and so I'll have to try hard to remember all of the distant past.............

As a small child I remember (5-6yrs old?), that my mums cousin and her family visited our house. The cousins daughter was in her late teens the era is very early 1960's, young females had just started to wear long high heeled boots and short skirts. The Family had arrived in / on a motorcycle and sidecar, their motorcycle gear was left in the hallway........ Both my mum and dad and cousins family were in the lounge and dining rooms, I remember coming down the stairs to the hallway and finding all this strange and intriguing clothing, quietly I put on the daughters boots and a leather jacket, when I was discovered by this time I also had a helmet in my hand, of course none of it fitted but I was strangly excited by it all, my parents and cousins family thought it was all very funny, and of course at that time there were no thoughts of transvestivism.

Apart from asking a well developed female what the lumps on her chest were (yes I was definitely fascinated!) to which I never recieved a proper reply, there was a long latent period of just growing up as a boy...........Until I reached puberty, and found myself wearing my mothers underwear, this continued secretly for the next 7 years or so, yes I was disgusted with my perversion, & I nearly got found out.

Dating girls was happening towards the end of this period and secretly even after having had enjoyable sex with them, I still wanted to wear their clothes..... secretly I did manage to try on their underwear.

There was an extremely long period of time when I didn't have any girlfriends, for reasons of moving out of town and changing social circles. I started to buy my own female clothes, underwear at first then progressing on to outerwear.

Again this was secret, and I was disgusted with myself and then I dumped my female clothes after a month or so..........

I then met my first wife, and sex was great at first, thenafter a couple of years I started to secretly wear her clothes, I can't honestly say whether or not she was aware or not or whether or not it had any bearing on the break up of our marriage, but I found myself alone again and guess what I started to buy female clothing again, I also discovered Trans sites on the internet, and yes I thought if only I could look like that.........in the meantime I had a regular girl who I was involved with in a sex only relationship, yes it was very enjoyable, but not enough to satisfy my inner needs, at the same time I was dating via the internet, and I met my second wife whom I am still miraculously married to.........yes it was all very exciting at first leaving the sex only relationship and starting the new relationship with my wife, but try as I might I just couldn't resist trying on her clothes secretly of course.............

Well, I still checked out trans sites and i started to take Pueraria Mirifca which is a plant based estrogen compound, I was amazed that I soon started to feel lumps behind my nipples, my first thoughts were, oh I've got male breast cancer, so I got it checked out twice at two different hospitals, with the same diagnosis, that I had Gynecomastia or male breast growth or moobs if you prefer. I was absolutely amazed, because I never ever thought that the Pueraria Mirifica would work, I was so happy!!! I told my wife and came out as trans to her, wow it went amazingly well, we were both drinking, however the next couple of days were like living in Siberia, she was definately not impressed with me. Things started to get back to normal after 4-5 days though...........

I told my one of our best friends about the gynecomastia, he told his wife, and when the next time they visited us I asked my friends wife if he had told her, yes she said, what will you do about it?, become a transvestite - oh I already am a transvestite I replied, oh wow so's he she replied he was in another room with my wife at the time, so i had a good chat about things with my friends wife............I let my friend know that i knew and that i was also similarly affected, he pretended to not know what I was on about, and it wasn't until I sent some photo's of myself (at that time very much a bloke in drag) that he came out to me.

We started to go to a local trans venue every two weeks or so on a Monday night (yes put 2 &2 together and you might well have an idea where this is), this going out as Transvestites continued for a year and a half or so, before my friend ran into difficulties, at which point I didn't attend so frequently. I had made some amazing friends, who were mostly in the transgender process, although I wanted to do the same, I had to take things very slowly and cautiously to let my wife slowly adjust to my increasingly feminine appearance, by this time I had started to take premarin tablets, I was self medicating, my breasts rpidly started to increase in size, wow brilliant I thought. I was advised by a friend that premarin good as it is for breast growth was not going to be doing me any good, and it's bad for the liver, oh god & I adore alcohol, I was advised that i should be using estrogen patches. With this in mind I went to see my GP (General Practicioner - Physician, for you non British people!), and told her what I was doing, luckily she prescribed to the said Estrodot patches, and referred me to the local pshyciatrist, who referred me on to Charing Cross Gender Identity Clinic (ChX GIC) in London. It took about a year for my first appointment to happen and I can honestly say it was very enjoyable with a very open and honest consultation with a pshycologist. The second appointment last autumn (OK, fall) was not as good, ifelt it was more like an interview, but it was with another doctor this time a pshyciatrist.

Early December 2014 I came out at work as Eve, and started to change my name and all it entails , including much frustration with my banks, and surprisingly my GP's Surgery, who were not aware of how to gert my NHS card and identity changed. I had to research on the internet the process that the NHS has for this to happen, then to give that information to my GP to act on, I have got two copies of a letter from my GP stating my gender and name cahnge are permanent, for the purposes of sending of to get my driving licence and passport changed along with other documents.

It was an EXTREMELY frustrating Christmas period for me, battling with people who wrongly thought they knew better, My bank after I complained thatr a UK Deed Poll for name change was not necessary to change my details, eventually paid my costs for my Deed Poll that they had originally required and also compensated me with £150. My Credit Card company (TESCO) is still being a pain, causing me to complain to the Finacial Ombudsman, this is ongoing.

I recieved a phone call on the 27th December from CHx GIC asking me if I could attend an appointment on the 29th December 2014 to see the resident Endocrinologist, as it was thought that I needed urgent intervention. As it turned out it was because of a fatty liver condition that I have, probably caused by too much alcohol, though I don't suppose that my self medication with Premarin a couple of years ago could have helped me either. Anyway I had my estrogen increased, and also Decapeptyl to kill off residual testosterone production, physical examination of breasts (now between B & C cup), penis and testicles also happened. Good news I was told that I didn't need any electrolysis in my pubic hair area. I came away elated, at long last I felt that I was on the road to becoming a real woman. What I desperately need now is to increase my confidence, and voice feminisation. I was also pretty much overweight -well obese, there I've said it, I was told that I need to get my weight to 92kgs from 113 kgs, New years resolution happened to be to stop drinking alcohol for two months or so (see how it goes), and to lose weight, I now weigh 104.5 kgs so you can see that I'm quite serious about being a Transwoman having lost over an imperial stone in weight within a month!

That's pretty much it, physically anway, I haven't bored you with all of my feelings which seemed to alternate between femme and male like the coming and going of the tides, this did die down as time progressed and estrogen worked it's miracle. I'm now extremely happy as a Transwoman, although stupidly I do still care about what others think of me, but increasingly I am starting to care less and less, that's their problem not mine, I'm doing this for me not for them......

I'll try to keep my blog up to date on a weekly basis, and I'll try to answer any questions if you haven't been bored to death with my history.........