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I want my surgery. There is no other way to word it or describe it. I. want. it. I'm tired of waiting, and I'm tired of putting 20$ in my savings box every week or so. It's just not cutting it, and I dont feel like I'm getting anywhere at all. So, I've decided to try something I have never ever done. Online Sales. I'm going to make an ebay account and attempt to sell things online to go towards my surgery box! So, I tried to evaluate my skills. Drawing is acceptable, but I dread the thought of my art in the hands of others. There's no way I could cope with that. Sewing? Dreadful. Knitting? Yeah, right can we say disaster? Clay works? Nope, that's my sister. When it comes to creativity, I lack it. Aside from book writing, which everyone knows will not do me any good on ebay since I'm self concious about my work plus I dont see how that would be sell-able without copyrights and all that blahness. So, I've fallen to something cheap to ship, easy to make, and cheap to do. Jewelry. Now for me making jewelry (since I've abandoned all girliness) makes me feel extremely gay but I guess that's acceptable being that I'm trans AND bisexual. I'm allowed to be a little gay But regardless....I NEED IDEAS!!! I dont know where to start, what to make, anything!! I plan to go to walmart tomorrow with 40$ out of my surgery savings (got to start somewhere) and buy supplies for getting a few pieces done. Throw them on ebay and see if I get any bites. If I dont, at least I tried. If I do, EPIC! But I still need ideas. If you guys have any, let me know, and I'll let everyone know ASAP when I get it up and running. I'm thinking Warren's Wearables. I dont know, needs work I think. I had something else I was going to tell you guys but I completely forgot o.o well crap. Tootles! Warren

I leave for California tomorrow early morning, arrive around noon, get picked up by a limo which takes me to my hotel (luggage arrived yesterday). See what I can explore, have dinner, watch some television than Monday morning at 9AM is my pre-surgery appointment, explore again during the day, dinner, crappy tasting poop all night meds. Tuesday get to the surgery center at 6AM for check-in, surgery at 7:30AM. Doubt very much I will be blogging on Tuesday but surely the next day. For anyone interested http://karenpayneblog.com Will be taking pictures of my new vagina every couple of days then once a week but not posting them here but will post them on a private FTP site for those who would care to see the progress over say the next six months. The address will be given out by anyone here sending me a private message. Oh, I will do a video via webcam this coming Friday for giving updates on my condition.

My gender dysphoria has been really bad again this week. I did outline roadmap for myself, still working on it. But I need to get started with hormones and hair removal. I don't know what else to do! -Lisa